Christmas and Empathy

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I am indifferent to christmas as a whole, however I used to hate christmas shopping, now my mother offers to do it for me, since an incident a few years ago.

DerStadtschutz - you could give to charity in the name of the people you "owe" gifts. That way, you can give Jesus the present and, after a few years, the people probably will stop giving you gifts.

I guess I could, but I don't even wish to acknowledge the holiday because I'm neither a christian nor a pagan. Therefore, I have no reason to celebrate or do anything. It's just another day like any other to me.

Christmas is anxiety season because you have to spend money on gifts and my husband has to buy gifts for other people as well instead of for our own son. Makes me want to cancel Christmas for him. He be two by then and won't even know the difference. My husband says I am being too cheap because I told him he had to pick between out families and our son and he said "oh my god Beth, you are being way too cheap."

I love Christmas and all but I hate shopping for older people so my husband does it all now. I quit few years back. I would rather do it for my son but he be hard to shop for too when he gets older like pre teens when he starts to outgrow toys. but I don't need to get stuff anymore because I have enough stuff already. I would rather get things like candy or Wii Points card or DSi points and if there is such think like a gift card for my Nook so I can use it to download books with it, that be awesome.

OK, was curious about shopping malls in UK vs malls in USA, googled a pic, and OMG. The sight of the PARKING LOT (also called a 'car park' ) would be enough to make me have palpitations

check this out http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... landhudson

Aw, this is a lovely Christmas present. Thank you!

Not too keen on Xmas..as eveyone seems to be having fun and getting together..so rather a let down when you have no one to get together with..

Laugh and the world laughs with you
cry and you cry alone

The whole concept of non spontaneous... ritualized, socially expected gift giving is repugnant to me. I buy stuff for people when I want to, where I want to and why I want to. The holiday season is just simply obnoxious.

It just screams of falseness. If someone really wants to get someone else something, why would they wait until a specific day of the year to do it? That’s illogical. You just do it when you are moved to do it, and it becomes a genuine and heartfelt gesture. Same with other strangeness of holiday, days of remembrance or commemoration… why not just remember every day or continuously? Why do people need a special day to remember the sacrifices of others? Shouldn’t they just remember that autonomously if they really cared?

Same for special occasion with specific themes like Valentine’s Day. That is the romantic sappy day for whatever reason (look into Valentine and /facepalm over this one). But does it really fool anyone if their S.O. treats them real nice for this one day and then goes back to not giving a crap? Are not spontaneous shows of affection year round far more effective?

I don’t know. I’ve been called miserly, or a scrooge. I’ve been shunned/scolded for my lack of involvement in family gift giving during holidays/birthdays. But I just cannot get past the obvious farce of it all, the sheer fakeness of generosity and loving affection as plastic as the decorations. Real affection and generosity are not scheduled and penciled in, not an obligation, nor sold at your local superstore.

When it comes to shopping for presents, I just ask the others what they want for Christmas. If it's too expensive I'll ask them to name something else.

I'm usually very depressed by Christmas. Between low sunlight levels and all the singing/bright lights/advertisements, I'm wearing thin. I don't buy presents or expect them. I take what I'm given, but if it's given under the expectation of reciprocity, the giver will be disappointed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1_zVswbW8s

I hate Christmas too. I used to love it when I was younger, but now it's a drag.

Never know what to get people. My best bet is money/gift cards. I like recieveing gifts, just not buying them.

Just what I was going to say. I only really have to get one Christmas present nowdays and even that's hard enough.

When you think about it, giving a good gift to an adult is pretty hard, because it has to be:
1) Something they want.
2) Something they haven't got yet.

But most of the time if they want it they've already got it! So it has to be either:
1) Something they don't yet know they want (good)
2) Something they haven't been able to obtain for whatever reason (very good)
3) Something that they want a little bit, but not enough to actually buy it (OK - most decent gifts fall into this category)
4) Something they want, but can't afford to buy and you can (bad)

Most people give poor gifts. But most people seem OK with that. I, for better or for worse, hold myself to higher standards and that means stressing out about this until I either find a good gift or find one that's barely passable and, in desperation, remind myself once again that the gift I'll get in return will almost certainly be even worse. But hey, "it's the thought that counts", right?



That is spot on. Well, at least I'm not as bad as Sheldon.

Whether I like it or not I have to do Christmas shopping. Every year I have over 20 people on my list. I don't use empathy to do shopping, I use lists. For all the family members I ask them to email me a wish list (with links), then I can just order things easily. For people I'm not familiar with (like kids teachers) I just get some generic stuff they can regift easily. Without wishlists it can be a bit more trouble. But everyone knows my policy by now: if you don't ask for things, get whatever I feel like buying, and be grateful about it. I do wrap them up nicely. I like pretty looking presents. I'm also good at writing sweet little notes explaining why I thought this gift is perfect for you. I can make something I dug out of my closet look nice and special with those.

*The only person I ever have trouble with is my dad. Every year his wishlist consist of things he'd like to have, but don't really exist; or something he had once seen somewhere but don't know what it's called. He gets whatever I buy.

Agree

What he said ^.

Also, loving the avatar!

I love Christmas. Here's what I do I buy all the kid's gifts online(toy stores are the worst) go to my familiar stores walmart, kohls, or jcpennneys at a quieter time with a list. Buy what I need and go. Generally I'll preshop online and if I don't buy online buy exactly what I want. This year I went Christmas shopping on Halloween and the store was practically empty. Got all I needed and left.