What do you do when you think people dislike you?

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TheWrithing
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03 Dec 2012, 2:51 am

I've learned not to care about what people think about me. Suffice to say, I've become inclined to want people to dislike me so much that I bought headphones for my iphone that have a loud volume/blast range and simply wear them around my neck with whatever choice of music such as MSI. I seem to enjoy the idea of making people dislike me in IRL almost to an obsessive extent, but it's quite the opposite online. I oddly want people to like me on the internet.

Earlier on in my teenage years before such strange mannerisms came about, I tried to act clownish in order to get persons to like me especially when I felt necessity to gain their attentions but would often fail. I feel somewhat relieved that that awkward phase of my life has come to pass.



AspieOtaku
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03 Dec 2012, 2:59 am

Let guilt overtake me avoid the person and go into shutdown mode!


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03 Dec 2012, 5:23 am

drop out of school. quit my job. move out of state. lock myself in my room for days at a time. I'm being literal with all of these.

I don't manage social anxiety well.


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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03 Dec 2012, 8:19 am

Usually I avoid/ignore people who don't like me. I don't try to make them like me.

There has a few times when I've thought someone didn't like me and I was wrong. They've had something going on with them, which I didn't know about, and they were being quiet and moody due to that. I speak to a Mum in the school playground, now and again. For a few weeks there, she was sort of ignoring me. If I was speaking, others would answer, but she'd just smile, as if she was trying to look polite in front of everyone else. I thought she'd fallen out with me, for no reason I could think of (although I thought maybe my daughter had done or said something in school, which her daughter had told her about). I decided that I was going to just forget her. But then, last week, I spoke about something which she felt really strongly about (she was on my side) and she offered me a lift home. We spoke for a while. Everything seems fine between us and she seems to really care about my daughter, so it wasn't that either. I've not done anything wrong at all. She'd obviously been going through a bad patch.


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MrXxx
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03 Dec 2012, 11:15 am

:shrug: :shrug: :shrug: :shrug: :shrug:


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urbanpixie
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03 Dec 2012, 11:53 am

I assume that most everyone I meet is going to dislike me. This isn't putting myself down, just an honest assessment of how I come across. I don't actually think I lack social skills as much as it is that I have an inherent presence that screams "insecure loser." (i.e. I could do the exact same thing as someone else in a conversation, and that person would be perceived as likeable and I would not be).

I try to minimize interaction with everyone unless I'm in a really positive and happy mood. I know that I either need to be positive and happy more frequently or force myself to interact when I don't feel as positive, or I come across inconsistent.

I don't worry about whether people like me or not. I think focusing on what people think of me is selfish on my part, and I try to focus on what I think of the other person. If I find that person likeable, I try to think of ways to conduct a positive conversation with that person and build a connection.



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03 Dec 2012, 12:20 pm

I agree with League Girl and Forkful of Soup. Unless a person makes it very plain that they dislike/like me, I can't tell how they feel. It doesn't bother me that someone dislikes me unless they are actively rude and unkind. People have snubbed me intentionally before and I had no idea what they were up to.


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eggheadjr
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03 Dec 2012, 12:28 pm

I have to agree as well. I usually don't get that people don't like me until they make it very obvious. That usually means a big "Ouch!" moment. And I've had a few of those.

Best advice I ever got on the topic was from a psychologist - "You can't be responsible for the thoughts of others" she told me. I had never thought to look at it that way.

So - I know I'm not a bad person. Some people like me - some don't. I try to be around the ones that like me.


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SpiritBlooms
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03 Dec 2012, 12:50 pm

..



Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 04 Dec 2012, 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
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03 Dec 2012, 1:25 pm

If they are provokingly obnoxious in their dislike and I am forced to interact with them eg at work I won't be able to hide my dislike back for them for too long and this is where I have problems as I won't kiss the backside of obnoxious people for anyone!

I dislike a lot of people so by logic alone a lot will probably dislike me too. Being disliked is no reflection on a person's character when you look at the sorts of behaviour popular people indulge in - they are often highly immoral and unpleasant behind their masks and people are often very poor judges of character.



Sweetleaf
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03 Dec 2012, 1:28 pm

Hope they leave it at that and leave me alone rather then give me sh*t on top of it, or avoid them.


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nessa238
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03 Dec 2012, 1:31 pm

I'm far more used to being disliked than liked so if a person likes me I feel quite uneasy as I'll be wondering what the catch is. So I'm on familiar territory with dislike and probably encourage it to a certain extent as it's my comfort zone lol



btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2012, 3:01 pm

I do nothing different. I act the same as usual.



1000Knives
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03 Dec 2012, 3:14 pm

Don't talk to people I get the feeling/am told don't like me, walk around like:
Image

I don't know if that's better than my usual neutral expression, which is more like:
Image



Maggot
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03 Dec 2012, 3:32 pm

I'm usually very obnoxious to people that dislike me, my view is if you don't like me you can go f**k yourself, because I'm not going to change to suit you.



nessa238
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03 Dec 2012, 3:38 pm

Maggot wrote:
I'm usually very obnoxious to people that dislike me, my view is if you don't like me you can go f**k yourself, because I'm not going to change to suit you.


My sentiments entirely! :D