Can you feel sympathy?

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Yesterday at this singles dance thing at the Hammersmith Apollo I was dancing with this girl, snagging even, while her friend ,a slightly chubby black girl, waits in the corner looking kind of sad and lonely, I can’t help feeling sorry for her. I didn’t really enjoy myself very much as the woman wasn’t really my type as such.

I feel sympathy and empathy for people but I don't know how to express it. I don't want to go up to someone and say the wrong thing, so I just stay back and say nothing.

i only feel empathy & sympathy for those i love, most people i look at with out consern i usally laugh when people talk about rough stuff because i do not know what to say and i feel nothing for them, it is like some one says i was raped today i laugh in confusion at them not a deep laughter. laughter like " haha ahh.. ok..ah ah" not like it is funny, i laugh out of the lack of anything to say to them. my wife and kid are the only people i can actually have feelings for, others i would rather not hear from typically.

i go to a bar and kinda almost look at people that talk to me like they are from a another planet.

now if some one says my dog died then i feel all sh***y for them. their cat i wanna say why do you have one of those things anyways?

really? well i am not unfeeling i just do not know what to think about bad s**t, i do not know what to tell them. i am i do care abotu them if bad s**t happends but i kinda think it sucks at best. i am not a violent type so who knows.

not learning from experience
no sense of responsibility
inability to form meaningful relationships
inability to control impulses
lack of moral sense
chronically antisocial behavior
no change in behavior after punishment
emotional immaturity
lack of guilt
self-centeredness

i am not like that!! !

if i said it you would understand me i think sorry bro.

logitechdog wrote:
krist wrote:
i only feel empathy & sympathy for those i love, most people i look at with out consern i usally laugh when people talk about rough stuff because i do not know what to say and i feel nothing for them


Is ok I understand what you mean people respond differently to the same situation & without concern - and laugh well if you take comedy they make fun of people's misfortune, uncontrollable laugh of facial reaction / don't know if all of us do this but if someone threatens you can you not help laughing? They end up getting angrier and say " You think I am joking " but I just can't help laughing - I would feel more if my parrot died or got hurt than someone else misfortune that I don't know - just the way I am


i always tell my friends that if we in a bad situation and i start laughing; run get out of the way or tell the people to leave or get me out of their.

i think the best way to say it is this; i litterly do not know not what to say. i laugh out of confusion i litterly go " ah ha haha" not aheavy laugh just a i light short raised eyebrow look of embarrasment and confusion.

i just shut down to strangers. my father always told me that strangers share things with you because they want something or need something from you and it is best to ignore them or leave or tell them you do not care.
i mean if some one is hurt hell ya i will help them but i do not care about sob stories.
i would be the last person you want on a jury.

i am so used to BS nad stupid people i just shut them out.
flagg said sociopath i about s**t when i saw that no no no .
i have a a deep moral system and all that. i just can not handle strangers and i do not want ot know people. i am sick of getting involved in drama every time i make friends they have drama. i hate drama. my wife and i end up helping people that s**t on us everytime. so why bother? f**k them. they call and say my car is broke down, you help they say thanks and do not offer cash or a desent thank you and when you ask for help they are busy? or something else.

people = s**t

you work 8 hours for some one they buy you lunch for 3 bucks. no i am disabled i hurt from my daily job sorry..
i used to be helpfull now i am not interested in helping anyone at all.

I think that I don't feel as much sympathy as others. I usual try to find humor in bad situations.

i made no sense last night when i posted. xanax muscle relaxers and tramadol can make one FUCT IN THE HEAD. neckache, headache and muscle cramps suck!

Yes, I can understand why other people are hurting, and if someone is upset (crying), I get upset too. But I don't always have the skills to know what to do for the best with people. I do try, but I often get it wrong. Then I find that people get even more upset than they were to start with because I've said something that they think is wrong (and I don't know why), so they turn on me and I get panic-stricken and end up worrying about it for days afterwards. I just can't switch off worrying about it. NT friends tell me to "just ignore it", but how on earth do you do that? I'm also not happy when people go to hug me, not even people I know really well.

I seriosuly struggle with empathy except when its with my one close friend who i know how she feels as she took the time when we met to explain everything about her specific ways of displaying how she feels. So now i can recognise how she feels but have to manually do it by comparing to the past.

Other people i dont have a clue, nor do i know how to react.

Even with my close friend I only know how to react because she's told me that when she upset she likes to be hugged and cuddled and i can understand that cos i like that too when im upset. But even then i wouldnt know how long she would need hugging for but she understands me and tells me most things so i dont feel like an idiot.

Other people displaying emotion terrifies me as i dont know how to respond.

Also if i care about them I end up upset too cos i see them in pain and cant help them cos i dont know how.

I can do sympathy and understand how they feel for specific things that are the same as that has effected me or are similar in many ways. It means Ive been able to help friends who have been through similar sexual abuse to me as the feelings people have are common in most cases. Ive even had people say i should become a counsellor but no way could i do it face to face!! !

Sympathy? Sure, though sometimes I balk at how to properly express it.

Empathy is a foreign concept to me. And having worked for several years in the call-centre industry, that always frightened me because we were always told that we had to show empathy on the phone when it was warranted. Fortunately, I was able to fake it (appropriate words and tone of voice).

(I don't work in the call centre any more, though occasionally if they're crazy busy and offering overtime, I may do an hour here and there after my regular job, for the extra bucks -- I'm not in the call centre but still am in the same company.)

The joke we have about empathy on a phone call is that we should avoid expressing empathy when it is not warranted. For example:
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to pay my bill."
Agent: "I am so sorry to hear that."

lol xenon , joke could be took further for a April fool day..... Probably been done loads of times like....

And how would you like to pay for that Sir? Cheq - credit card - cash - Home Appliance - selling your body or would you like our cash back deal of " Giving us your wife or girlfriend for a day "..

"Mind you some will say Ill have the cash back deal, can have my wife for a month..."

Bit like the police asking you if you got any drugs, knifes, guns, dead body so on in your vhc