Im a Key worker (carer) to a child who has Autism.
Well to start off thank you for all the help everyone!
Ive recently bought him some big ear defenders and some ear plugs. He does take a posative approach to them but he hates things on his head or in his ears. He has also tried breking the ear defencers and bites the ear plugs in half. Not because he doesnt like them but because he finds it funny
Im not intending on stopping his hand flapping at all. I am only trying to help him stop for a few minutes whilst he continues with his independance.
It can be hard with the noise as its a residential home with other young people. Some who are very loud. We do have quiet sensory rooms for him to go in but because we are a big family and sit together at meal times it can become loud and too much, to the point where he will throw his dinner across the room.
I just dont want him medicated and left in a padded room when he leaves us once an adult because of his behaviours. It would break my heart.
HereBeDragons
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- Hand flaps (twiddle as we call it) with his hands or peices of paper all the time, what are the consequences of us stopping him from hand flapping? how does it make him feel?
- Loves painting and wants to do it all the time. just loves mixing all the paints together. why is this? the feeling of the brush on paper? all the colours?
- bites himself and others when has the chance. is this some form or sensory urge he gets? how do we stop/prevent this from happening?
- does not like lots of noise and can sometimes show violent behaviours when there too much going on. im guessing this is sensory overload. Any ideas to prevent this?
Bear in mind that every person on the spectrum is different. I'm basing my answers on average.
Hand flaps: it's a form of stimming, usually done when one is nervous, excited, or happy. Stopping it can increase anxiety at the least, lead to a full blow Autistic fit at the worst. If it's not hurting anything or anyone, I'd just let him be.
With the painting, it's probably soothing in some way. Indeed it could be the feeling of the brush on paper, or how the colors swirl together. From my own experience, the feel of certain fabrics instantly makes me feel better just by rubbing it.
The biting, I cannot really say, only give my own experience and hope it sheds some insightful light. I used to be a head-banger, which I did in order to make some unpleasant experience go away.
With noise, I do the same thing. There are certain noises that can still throw me into a full autistic fit. I simply cannot take them. One thing I do when I hear a really bad noise is to create good noises that I like, this helps calm me done. Another is quantity of noise, rather than a certain kind of noise. With quantity, it is usually sensory overload. Usually the only thing to do is go to a quiet place and calm down.
Remember that every Autistic is different, but I hope at least some of this helps.
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That's the confusing thing about autism; everyone really is different. If you assume one autistic does things for the same reason someone else does, you're eventually going to make a mistake. I guess the key is getting to know that particular person as an individual, so you don't make problematic assumptions.
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Ive recently bought him some big ear defenders and some ear plugs. He does take a posative approach to them but he hates things on his head or in his ears. He has also tried breking the ear defencers and bites the ear plugs in half. Not because he doesnt like them but because he finds it funny

Im not intending on stopping his hand flapping at all. I am only trying to help him stop for a few minutes whilst he continues with his independance.
It can be hard with the noise as its a residential home with other young people. Some who are very loud. We do have quiet sensory rooms for him to go in but because we are a big family and sit together at meal times it can become loud and too much, to the point where he will throw his dinner across the room.
I just dont want him medicated and left in a padded room when he leaves us once an adult because of his behaviours. It would break my heart.
Some autistics do require full time care, sometimes trying to avoid that could be pointless. I really hope you can help this guy, thanks for taking the time to ask here. I have no experience in this area, and I imagine the knowledge you seek may be hard to find.
To nonames: Hi, I do stim sometimes. (E.g. I twirl my hair.) But I no longer shake my legs. Um, I'm not very sure about other cultures, but Asians generally view leg shaking as socially unacceptable.
To nonames: Hi, I do stim sometimes. (E.g. I twirl my hair.) But I no longer shake my legs. Um, I'm not very sure about other cultures, but Asians generally view leg shaking as socially unacceptable.
Didn't know that!

In other cultures it depends on whose leg you're shaking.
Good point.
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Does he need to flap with both hands? Maybe you could show him (e.g. demonstrate, draw comic strip instructions, make up picture-cards) how to brush his teeth with one hand and flap in the other, and then encourage him to try doing so (an electric toothbrush might make this much easier if the toothbrush itself didn't bother him)....Ditto for anything else a person might be able to do one-handed. It might not work (it might feel weird to flap with just one hand -- unbalanced or something, or he might not have the co-ordination for it), but maybe it's worth a try?
He doesn't understand why he needs to wash, brush his teeth ect... He would much rather hand flap.
I wonder if he gets stressed out by the noises, smells, and tactile sensations involved in self-care skills? (The smell of the soap or toothpaste, the feeling of a toothbrush or water, the sounds of water -- if he's got really sensitive hearing running water can be a cacophony of noise....personally I like the cacophony, but if I didn't, I would never take showers.)
Or if maybe he needs help with the steps involved because he can't keep them all in his head (you could lay out the steps for him in pictures)?
Does he have to eat with the group all the time? Is it possible to let him go and eat somewhere quieter when it gets really loud?
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