Do you sometimes have ideas about being evil?

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I used to worry I was evil but that was "intrusive-thoughts" that were part of my anxiety disorder, and being raised Calvinist. I've considered being powerful sort of as a daydream, but that usually translates into me wanting to make public policy decisions or something. sometimes I daydream about having superpowers and scaring people with them, but the people I think about scaring or controlling are corrupt politicians or like, bank robbers who took hostages, or mafia dons or something. I'm not sure if that makes the slightest bit of difference (I've often thought that cinema must absolutely love having Nazis in history to justify having "hero" characters who are cruel, and ruthless in their treatment of other people without the audience feeling bad about enjoying it)

*shrug*

in real life I literally don't harm flies and am the type of person who catches bugs to release them outside instead of letting people step on them. when alone at work I've simply opened the door for cockroaches to let them go on about their way rather than kill them.

I sometimes think "I could" do a bunch of stuff, but I know that I never would. For instance, I was delivering something to someone's door and they weren't home. I noticed that their door had a keypad to unlock the door, and that three of the numbers had rub marks on them. I thought to myself, "Those are the numbers that they press to open their front door. That means that there are only 24 possible combinations (I already knew that the brand of door lock used 4 digits so, of course, one of the digits were pressed twice)". This means that using permutation math in essence, I would be able to open their dead bolted door in about 2 minutes- all from noticing that there was some wear on certain buttons! I didn't open their door of course, I'm just saying I could have . I have lots of moments like those... like, "It would be so easy to steal this, break into that, get money from that person, etc. Honestly, I wouldn't hurt a fly. For my age, I'm more intellectual than most of my peers, so I'm able to find "solutions" and ways to do things that my peers can't even think of. I have learned to avoid verbally telling people about these "I could do so and so" because it's why people think I'm creepy . I'm not evil, I just have the mind of a crook. Personal morals cause me to not steal, lie, cheat etc. I sometimes worry that I'll someday end up in a situation in which someone has a gun to someone's head and that I'll have to kill them to save the life of someone else (or my own). I think I would, but I thought I'd get PTSD .

I have had evil thoughts - mostly at school, when classmates harassed me. But they never lasted for long

Besides, I am unable to hurt anyone, even if they actually deserve it. I am a very calm kind of person.