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I often avoid eye contact

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tonmeister
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23 Jan 2013, 10:00 am

I'm sure just about everyone on here has or has had eye contact issues at some point.
I can't do it, except with close friends and family. I'll force myself to do it in certain other situations if I remember.

Does anyone else find it particularly hard to make eye contact with outgoing, extraverted types? (I tend to be put off by those people in general, I suppose.) It seems that such people try especially hard to make eye contact with me, and it really turns me off. I can't look at them at all - it's as if they were shining a spotlight in my face.



M305
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23 Jan 2013, 11:30 am

Si_82 wrote:
The strange thing about realising you are on the spectrum is realising just how many behaviours you assumed were normal are in fact not


Amen!

Si_82 wrote:
I don't know if it is eye aversion or just poor memory but it occurs to me that I could not tell you the eye colour of anyone in my family apart from my wife.


I can't state most facial features of anyone, even if I see them on a daily basis. 8O



HereBeDragons
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23 Jan 2013, 4:51 pm

Always had an eye contact difficulty. Pushing myself to break it down though. Passing people by in the grocery store is easiest, because they just glance at you, then return to what they were doing. If you look away back to your own business then, just as they did, that's fine. If you keep staring at them or do something silly like balancing an orange on your head, then they keep staring at you . . .
Conversations are harder. You are the person's business, so they look at you. Every now and then I can at least glace up at someone, or even make eye contact through a decent chunk of the conversation. It's a slow process but it's coming along, I think.


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eric76
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23 Jan 2013, 5:21 pm

HereBeDragons wrote:
Always had an eye contact difficulty. Pushing myself to break it down though. Passing people by in the grocery store is easiest, because they just glance at you, then return to what they were doing. If you look away back to your own business then, just as they did, that's fine. If you keep staring at them or do something silly like balancing an orange on your head, then they keep staring at you . . .
Conversations are harder. You are the person's business, so they look at you. Every now and then I can at least glace up at someone, or even make eye contact through a decent chunk of the conversation. It's a slow process but it's coming along, I think.


In my case, living in a small town where I should know just about everyone in town, I invariably wonder if I know the person but just haven't recognized them because of the prosopagnosia. So I usually say hello to them and often stop and talk to them just in case I do know them. If it turns out that I don't know them at all, I get some pretty strange looks.



Pip
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23 Jan 2013, 9:59 pm

I've learned to either wear reflective sunglasses or look at an individual's mouth as they speak.



coops
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23 Jan 2013, 10:18 pm

Yes i find it very difficult to maintain eye contact with people, i can look briefly but it makes me super uncomfortable, i will often try to quickly look back at the person every 5-10 seconds or so to try to let them know that i am listening, i especially don't like places such as public transport and waiting rooms, the former of which i havent used in many, many years, i try to pick a spot on the roof or out of a window to focus on but sometimes if i am in having a bad day and i see somebody staring at me i end up unable to look away this is usually followed by a major meltdown if the person doesnt look away immediately, it troubled me greatly for many years but as i have got older i have learned not to put myself into those situations where there are a lot of people, especially if it is an environment where it is difficult to exit inconspicuosly.



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24 Jan 2013, 12:47 am

Magnanimous wrote:
I wear dark sunglasses.
If anyone can actually tell whether or not I'm looking them in the eyes, they sure as hell don't make it known.




I cant believe that never occurred to me :duh:

I have learned to glace at their eyes often, then keep busy other ways and try to look comfortable and relaxed while I talk. I am always monitoring where my eyes are directed, and how I look, every minute of every conversation. I just feel unnerved when I see them looking back at me. Don't know why. After all, it's not like death rays from their eyes are going to fry my brain or something, is it?
I prefer it when in a group of 3 or 4 people, so I can keep switching who I am looking at, so as to avoid looking at whoever is looking at me. :pr: :pl: :pr: :pl: :pale: