Asking their way to the front of the line

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if anyone asked to jump my place in a queue, i would pretend to answer my phone (they would presume i had the phone on "vibrate").

them: sorry could i just duck in front of you? i've only got a few things....
me: yes hello? (to my dead phone)...............yes.......... what? did you try to ring them?
....oh dear. so who else have you looked at?......hmmmmm how intriguing....


then when i get to the counter and my first product is scanned i "hang up" and i ask what the person tapping my shoulder wanted to say,

it is a bit too late by then, but at least i will not be taxed by their answer.

I have never had someone directly ask me this. And if someone did, I would assume they had a good reason and let them go ahead.

I have offered to let people go ahead of me because they were showing signs of anxiety and I could tell they were in a rush.

There have been times in the past where someone has had a couple items at the check out and i have a cartful and i had offered them to go in front of me.
This is a learned behavior as others have offered me to go ahead when i have only a couple items and they have more.
Always everyone was polite about it and said the thank yous so there was no problems. No worries =)

The do it yourself check outs nowadays help with these issues. People will just run to the nearest DIY checkout spot and it moves along nicely.

EXACTLY! That is what bothers me. It's THAT type of person that I can't stand. NOW if it's an elderly person, and they only have a couple items, IN THEIR HANDS, then I will ask them to go ahead of me. But if they have a cart, HELL NO! They can wait.



Very hard, especially when you are afraid to death of conflict and confrontation. The type of person who would ask and would certainly ask why not too.

That's a good idea. I thought of maybe learning sign language or german (which are interests of mine anyways) ...just enough to say "I don't understand you" and turn back around. Of course then they would probably b***h about me not knowing English. That seems to be a huge button here in the states. God forbid I speak something besides Redneck English. I've been in stores, the south and north and someone would walk by speaking a different language to someone or on the phone and other people act pissy and say things like this is america, speak English.


I sometimes let a person go ahead of me, but again that is what express lanes are for, but I HATE when people ask. I've had that happen when shopping with other people. I get pissed about the audacity of them asking. That is what makes me mad. I could be nice to you, but since you are rude, then nope.

Lmao...no! sounds like something I would say. I am sure they would be quite speechless, ahaha.

I don't see why you have to know. It's such a small risk. If you accept, you risk having to wait a minute or two longer for no good reason--something which you usually can do without any distress whatsoever. If you refuse, you risk causing distress for someone else, perhaps because they are running late, or low on blood sugar...

Since the risk of someone being hurt is so much larger if you refuse, I think it would be logical to let them go first regardless of their reasons. Someone who's just taking advantage of you won't say that straight out. They may well give an excuse that you have no way of knowing is a lie. I don't have the social savvy to tell the difference.

So I just accept that at some point they will take advantage of me, and I will have to wait in line for a couple of minutes longer; but that the rest of the time, it will mean that someone else gets a shorter wait time that they really needed to have. Since I can't be sure, I just take the option that's most useful, on average, to everyone. And in my experience, most other people do, as well. I've not just been allowed forward in line; I've even, on one occasion, had another customer pay more than five dollars on my behalf when I couldn't pay for the rest of my things. Most people are rather decent folks when it comes to having to stand in checkout lanes.

Okay, I guess I like drama then. Mom has had to tell me I shouldn't do this or that because of what can happen. Like I told her if someone tried cutting in front of me, I would cut in front of them back and shove them out of there and she told me I can't do that or else it would cause a fight and it would lead to being arrested. I was like 'crap, I have to be a helpless now.' I was even called heartless once because I didn't have any money to give to a begger woman. Then I realized I had coins but I didn't bother. But yet I don't ever have the balls to confront people like if someone is annoying me, I don't tell them to stop it. I once refused to shut my computer off when a woman claimed it was messing with her head and she was a b***h about it and then I enjoyed pissing her off with my laptop being on. One time someone at work yelled at me to pick up the gloves I threw on the floor and I said no. Then he told me I was stupid and I thought about what other things can I do to piss him off since he isn't a nice person. Then I was told I do not do that at work. I was like 'aw nuts." I can remember my therapist telling me in high school I have some oppositional defiance in me but I do not have ODD. Besides I hear lot of people keep doing things to piss someone off if they make a rude comment about their actions or were jerks about it or if you made an innocent comment about it and they were butthurt over it so they do it more just to make you mad. That wouldn't mean they have ODD.

Last edited by League_Girl on 28 Jan 2013, 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would let them get ahead, but internally I find this very rude. I would never ask anyone to let me go ahead of them, even if I just had one item.

One time I was with my husband and some guy asked if he could go ahead and my husband said yes while I said no. I didn't have a say in it because my husband kept his foot down and told me just let him ahead of us, he only has two items. Then I griped at my husband about I and he said he was just being nice and it was only two items. I was taught as a child you are to wait your turn. No matter what situation I am in, I will never cut in line. There is no excuse. Unless someone offers to let me ahead, okay I will make that exception.


I also remember one time Dad and I were at the bank starting my checking account and there were people waiting and they started to get impatient. I finally tell them to just wait their turn and be patient. They said they had a basketball game to go to so I said to my dad "that explains their rudeness." It just made me want the banker to slow down the process. Jesus, being late to the game isn't going to kill you and go to the bank another time or leave extra early to be prepared to wait. But sadly the banker just had to speed it up.

I hear ya, I used to be like that. Eye for an eye ya know? But over time... and MANY MANY MANY people telling me what I can and can't do. I just stopped doing everything and went the opposite way. I used to be the first one to tell it like it is and what the hell they did wrong and yadda. But everything kept saying the usual "Oh don't do that it's rude and it's not nice to point out others wrong doings". I come from a family of the proverbial Ostrich with it's head in the sand...don't make waves or stir the pot family...so after years of that kind of conditioning it finally took hold. I wish I could get that back. Be able to stand up for myself and not get walked on all the time. So when someone does something like cut or goes ahead of me when it's my turn, etc. I just get pissed and yell in my head or where they can't hear it. Not good to bottle all that up, but I am that scared of confrontation.




My hubby is like that too. He is just so nice. Too damn nice. I am the kind that you wait your turn too. I was taught that too, but also if someone does cut, then just avoid. So yeah confusing childhood lol. It would've been tough for an NT let alone someone with AS. I swear half my family is on the spectrum lol.

I always like to say "Failure to plan on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on my part"

No one has ever asked me to go ahead of me in line.

Do you offer to let other people go ahead? If not, then it is not fair for you to take the offer if other people let you go ahead.

I do see the appeal of living by absolute rules: "You wait your turn, no matter what. You never ask anybody else to let you ahead, and you never let anybody else ahead." It's nice and clean. But... the world's fuzzy. Many rules work better if they allow for exceptions. My rule would be, "You wait your turn, unless something happens that makes it more useful to go ahead than to follow the rule of waiting your turn." If the exception is more important than the rule, then you follow the exception. For example, if you have a shopping cart full and the person behind you has two things, then you can expect to wait (for example) five minutes to finish, and the other person can expect to wait six minutes (five for you, one for himself) before getting out of the store. Total wait time is eleven person-minutes. Whereas, if you let him ahead, then he will wait one minute (for himself) and you will wait six minutes (one for him, five for you). Total wait time, seven person-minutes. The exception to the rule allows for reductions in average wait time per person.

Last edited by Callista on 28 Jan 2013, 4:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am the same way.

I don't know. For me, I'm pale, sweating, my hands are shaking uncontrollably, and I can't talk straight. I'm also unsteady. I don't think someone would attempt to fake all of that just to get to the front of a line.

It wouldn't be convincing anyway.