Is it worth trying to convice others you have Aspergers?

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It definitely appears that while women have a difficult time with Asperger's like men, they still get
into relationships and even have children. This is a pipe dream for male aspies. To be fare, many women with Asperger's appear to end up with men who also have it or some other mental disorder.

That's exactly my problem (I'm your age) in that I've learned to survive to a point I know how to 'fake' it for a short term and nobody will accept I have Aspergers even though it's pretty obvious. I have had nothing but bad experiences with Psychologist/Psychiatrists in that they deny, deny, deny what I'm trying to tell them. I was practically suicidal from bullying as a child but I could not get anyone to take my concerns seriously and the general consensus was that I was attention seeking which couldn't be further from the truth! I still think some of them thought I was making up the stories of what the bullies were doing as they would say over and over how 'everyone gets bullied'. I've only known one kid who even came close to what I endured and he was a classic nerd in every way so everyone accepted he was bullied. Me, I was very tall so there apparently was no way 90% of the school would bully me.

I finally heard my mother say "I knew you had very mild Aspergers as a child" so that was a relief but she continues to deny the serious issues I have with executive function, socializing and change in routine. Other than that, the only person who even half understands (outside of our beloved WP community) was my brother because he works directly with diagnosed Aspies and knows them inside out. Like I've said before, almost everyone, even "experts" watch too many movies and TV shows and they seem to think if you can hold down a job and not end up in jail, you can't have Aspergers.


Not really. I did casually mention to two people at work experienced in Autism and they said it's pretty obvious to the point I'm probably the last to figure it out but I know few people would accept it since I'm too "normal" and don't have any immediately obvious signs other than lack of eye contact.

IMO, you should tell it to someone only when it's absolutely necessary. As I said in this forum multiple times, you can't unsay what you have said. Once it's out, you can't take it back.

I don't even know if I should get a formal diagnosis because it may mostly have negative effects. I can't imagine telling people about AS would make them more understanding. The people at work who don't like me would only think I'm seeking attention/sympathy, if I told them. My bosses might treat me unfavorably if I told them. With those people that I value (friends etc), I fear it might somehow change the relationship for the worse. Some people may even have difficulty in understanding such concepts as inherent social disability, sensory issues, coordination difficulty, difficulty in multi-tasking etc, which you could be born with. They might think that you are only making excuses.

So, as I said, I think you don't need to convince others unless it's necessary or they actually seriously want to know about it for your sake.

Having never been diagnosed, I have trusted a few with the information. Some say, No not you, couldn't be. Those who've had children with it have come to me and suggested that I get diagnosed. I've been told that I used the possibility as an excuse. The decision is ours. We can decide to tell or not, to care or not but, hiding is not always an option. Those who notice will accept those who need convincing aren't close enough to know us well enough or have a vested interest. "I wouldn't date a ret*d"
I guess if you tell people and they react badly it's a quick way to weed out friends.

I'm thinking in future if I can get this thing under control, in truth If and when I date, I date with the purpose of getting into a long term relationship; with this consideration I would likely inform the person very early on then. If they can't accept it or if they think less of me because of it then its best to get rid of someone quickly before you become too invested; also by letting them know early on it would potentially help those interested in you to have a better understanding so that they aren't constantly frustrated and confused by our behaviors. We really need to organize ourselves better.

I guess these are the typical struggles of being a minority.

i only tell people i know well or people who also have aspergers, i told my grandmother but she cant except it yet