Why so much negativity?

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I know, I don't get it either. Maybe there are two types of Aspie, those who can pick up intentions from the written word and those who can't - clearly we fall into the latter category if so. Maybe those complaining about the negativity are those jolly, bouncy types who can only see things through rose-coloured spectacles and anything not meeting their view of the world is perceived as negative. And you know, I'm sure I read somewhere that the so-called pessimists of this world are actually the realists.

I've been around on her, though not posting an awful lot, since June 2011, so not a short time. I know my initial post came over as quite a generalisation, but that wasn't my intent. The overwhelming tone here seems to be a degree of despair. Because folks are more likely to post when they're feeling down I guess. I just think that a positive thread would maybe help balance that out and give folks a place to speak out if things are going well- I wasn't suggesting an entire forum devoted to it, just one thread that people could look at if they felt like it.




That's the point though, isn't it? That the impression is that if you are an Aspie you can't have a happy, moderately successful life. If nobody can air it when life is going well, then there's nothing to really give people hope that yes, you have problems, but that it is possible to beat them to a degree.





I don't veiw the world through rose tinted glasses, I have my dramas, issues and failures. But I also think it's important to try and foster a positive attitude. Looking around the forums here I believe that's something that could do to be shared, whether by giving advice if asked for it, or by showing that it can get better, akin to the "It Gets Better" campaign for LGBT youth. That you can make a difference to your own life.





So do you think that all it would do is inspire jealousy then? I'm uncertain, if a thread is there for the express purpose of inspiring others, hopefully they'd see it differently.

I know a friend of mine was diagnosed last year, and asked where he could get information. I sent him here. He stopped coming here after a couple of months, as he found it depressing- as though it was a given that once you're diagnosed you should give up and throw yourself on the scrapheap. I'm not saying that everyone here is like that, just that their voices are so much quieter.

It seems life has a tendency to bite our type more frequently than it does to others. I hang around here to mostly bait people into responding, so that I can learn more about myself. This place is a "nudist's beach" for the intellectually lonesome.

I've thought about death and its causes long enough to enjoy life as it is, without retorting to caring about social status, envy, jealousy etc.

ASD people need both negative and positive reinforcement just as everyone else. That this place seems more concentrated on the negative, could be a sign of the times we live in. On the other hand living in a "Chinese Curse" might be a blessing after all.

I don't think I know how to be positive, in the way people expect. Things are just, there. They exist. If my life is having a problem, I fix it, or at least try to. I'm not really sure how people could benefit from hearing about my life, since everyone is different. If I'm given a specific situation, I can add my thoughts on it, but other than that, I can't just post "Hey look at what I did in my life". I suck at communicating like that.

I went with maybe since I think it would be a good idea if enough people want it, but otherwise I don't see much point. However, I must point out reading other peoples success stories does not show my my life can get better since in my experience it just keeps getting worse especially when I hope for it to get better. Also I need to figure out what it is I want to strive for, its probably quite a bit different than what most people would strive for.

As for giving up, I've more or less given up on getting 'better' in the conventional sense, I never was all that well mentally to begin with...I've decided the best option for me is to figure out how to work around some of the issues I have I've simply exhausted myself too many times trying to fight and overcome it thinking I had to not to let anyone down. I also don't blame NT's for all my problems, though I can't say people in general haven't contributed to a lot of what I struggle with but that even includes non NT's most likely.

I think I might need a positive environment to have a more positive outlook.....but theres negativity all around me and even in my head, and I am not going to bear it all with a big smile just to prove myself positive.

I don't understand why people would blame NT's for their problems...I dislike the term NT...uhhhg thanks for making me use it.

A disorder is your problem.

I don't mind what other people perceive as negativity, in the slightest. In fact, I appreciate the raw emotional honesty. This is the stuff we'd never post on Facebook or mention in a dating profile or, often, even tell our family or friend(s). It's not only liberating to vent but reassuring to everyone else that other people know exactly how you feel and all the cookie cutter lives portrayed in movies, on television and across all forms of social media, are not as easily achievable as we're led to believe. I can understand why some people might find it abrasive after a while and I'm not saying this in retort to the idea of a more positive sub-forum (it may be a great idea, as long as the issues Tyri0n presented are resolved), I'm just voicing my support for the people who come here, take off whatever NT mask they might have meticulously built over the years, and let it all hang out .

I think it's a great idea. If people don't like the idea, they don't have to go to the subforum. There're probably some people who can benefit from it, so I don't see why we shouldn't give it a whirl.

This is a curious poll. It's interesting to me because I often wonder what make-up one must have, mentally, to keep having a positive attitude? After how many years, betrayals, mistakes... never, ever "getting" it, no matter how smart we are or how much we think about it.... When does the psyche finally break down and give up? For each person, who posts and reads here, I commend you for making it this far, and adopting a negative attitude is the least we need to worry about when it comes to our mental health. If you have come this far and still have a positive attitude, please share WHY this remains in you. Is it a self-perpetuating LIE we tell ourselves that everything will be okay, we can do better next time....




>>>>>>>>>>> my OCD won't let me be okay until "next Time" because I still remember everything I've ever done wrong, and it's ALWAYS turned out wrong, always.

So what is a positive or negative attitude? Brain-washing. Convincing ourselves of that which is not actual reality. Instead, center oneself in the VERY CRAP OF EXISTENCE, and sit with it. It won't kill you. You don't have to say it will get better or damn, this always happens. Those are just words, concepts, ideas, a prolonging of inevitability. SO instead, just realize what it is that you are facing. ( )Change ( )Don't change. Simple.

^ You can be grounded in reality and still feel happy/content. It is a lie to say otherwise.

I think people expressing their true feelings in this thread is a good thing. Whether you perceive other people's posts negatively or not is up to you. I don't mind reading other people's stories of difficulties because I can relate to many of them. I feel that since I found WP, my life has somehow improved probably because for the first time in my life I realized that I'm not alone.

There have been some "positive" posts as well. But, as I said, perceiving something as positive or negative is your decision. IMO it's partly the reflection of your own mind. I don't sense that much negativity here myself. So I think the way it is now is fine (regarding the pos/neg aspect of it).

I don't think that it's negative when people post about their problems.

Last edited by btbnnyr on 15 Feb 2013, 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think a forum to post positive stories would be a great idea. WP should be a place of refuge and support. A "Yay! Forum" would help reinforce that.

I mean, let's face it, Autism and other disorders aren't all rainbows and sunshine, but sometimes the sun does shine. We're kidding ourselves if we say it doesn't and Autism is all frowny faces. Positive things happen and it should be shared. Got a job? Post it. Made a new friend? Post it. Got laid? Post it. Went to the movies by yourself and enjoyed yourself? Post it. If anyone has anything negative to say, then they're in the wrong forum.

On that note, there also should be an easier and more convenient way to report posts than PMing mods, which I can see as making a lot of people here to have anxiety. Most websites I go to have an icon to click and a message is automatically sent to all mods who are in charge of that subforum.

I'm looking to see if these suggestions have been posted to "WrongPlanet.net discussion" (which I just found, go figure). If not, I'm going to forward them there.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt206352.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4966538.html

These are the things that I have written as to why I do not view the world more positively? To sum it up, what you're asking makes no logical sense to me.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4992249.html#4992249

For me, your inspirational tales make no sense to me and I have a difficult time following the rationale behind them. Metaphorically, they don't tell me how to grow food or change a tire.

No. I hope that it would inspire others to believe that their diagnoses do not define them, and that they could possibly overcome whatever limitations their particular form of AS/ASD might impose.

Not everybody can overcome their limitations, but for those who can, I hope that they will at least try.


If you want to learn how to grow food or change a tyre, then you should ask. Otherwise, there is no guaranty that your particular interests or needs will be addressed.

Last edited by Fnord on 15 Feb 2013, 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.