Is it wrong to be verbose? Chased off another forum board...

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I can see how some might find it irritating (I just read or scroll past depending on my mood and interest levels...so it does not bother me) but it was still a bit over the top accusing someone of needing medication because of it. My posts may be irritating to some but they were outright offensive in the replies they made. I feel most indignant about the whole thing.

I do not mind someone stating their preference for longer or shorter posts, it is an individual choice, but there is no need to be rude or insulting towards the person in the manner that they were.

I feel the same. I heard a term, " final refuge", when you go all Self In Exile, and I'm on the brink. Unfortunately my need to communicate pulls me back lol. I simply miss people (there's something I never dreamt I'd say).

I don't mind being interrupted when I monologue either, I see it as an invite to chat anyway - it's when ppl do it rudely and talk over me I get hurt. That's not how you are supposed to do it. But trying to get others to follow the "correct" steps in interaction online oh my lol that is another can of worms entirely! It upsets me, and then when ppl says I shouldn't be upset I get even more upset for not being understood.



Yes, the "all about you", "selfish", "you do this all the time" and such accusations leave me too as a total Alright I get I'm doing something wrong, and I definitely get I'm being misunderstood YET AGAIN - but how, and what should I do differently, and in what way do you mean? When asking this I'm "just being even more selfcentered" (and by this point in this completely incomprehensible discussion I'm ready to pull my hair out) but never anyone who say why or how or listen when I say that I actually am not, that this is me trying my very hardest to communicate with you!

That has me turning off my phone and staying in bed for days. And it just keeps happening. I don't mind that much if strangers, but now even the woman I love and I STILL DON*T UNDERSTAND! That's the worst ugh I get frustrated just writing this

And attacking like that, saying horrible things like that, assassinating your character, that's not ok. It's THEM who mix things up, get personal and cross the lines, not us lol

I know exactly how you feel and do a lot of the same things. The worst part is that it's their problem that they can't understand what we're saying, yet we suffer for it when we defend ourselves.
I will often spend a very long time when typing about something important to me. Does the time it takes to type it all out, proof read it, fix mistakes, add to it, take away, add more.... does all that annoy you? Because it annoys me but people don't understand me enough as it is, so I need to spend a lot of time on certain things.
But even then there is usually something that's really quite simple but gets completely misunderstood, even when the explanation is right there.

OP: I definitely understand how you feel and the need to convey statements in a precise manner can be overwhelming at times. It just feels like things are being left out that are of relevance, but the truth is that most NT's do not find information sharing valuable, only the nuances of social establishment. Conversations declare who is what and where in the ladder, s to speak and extreme displays of intellectual eloquence leave most people daunted and feeling like they are being treated like they are stupid.

Its not fair, it makes no sense, but it is how it works.

At least here, you can be verbose! Concise, etc.!

Personally, I appreciate posts that are insightful, thought out and long-or short- that contain more than bland generalizations, even if I have trouble constructing them sometimes when what I think is too intense for words in any form.

From what I can tell, NT's seem to like watching others get hurt from behind a wall where they don't actually have to interact physically with the person they're hurting; it explains the abundance of unpleasant comments all over internet forums, and this absurd obsession with reality TV which is less about the program and more about the contestants bashing each other. It's basically a way for them to feel better about themselves by watching others be put down. It sucks, but I should try not to take it personally - they like to do it to everybody - and as for having somewhere to socialise, well, if the NT's manage to chase you off everywhere else, at least you'll still have wrongplanet.

From what I can tell, NT's seem to like watching others get hurt from behind a wall where they don't actually have to interact physically with the person they're hurting; it explains the abundance of unpleasant comments all over internet forums, and this absurd obsession with reality TV which is less about the program and more about the contestants bashing each other. It's basically a way for them to feel better about themselves by watching others be put down. It sucks, but I should try not to take it personally - they like to do it to everybody - and as for having somewhere to socialise, well, if the NT's manage to chase you off everywhere else, at least you'll still have wrongplanet.

First of all I found your post difficult to read because it didn't flow and looked too formal. Also I believe you need to stop playing the victim here as complaining about a whole forum boards behaviour isn't going to change anything. It must be an issue with your posting and you need to work to correct that if you want any meaningful change.

I correct my way of posting all the time it is all about learning and adapting. that is what humans do, learn from what your doing wrong and change it. Don't expect everyone else to change.

For a fact I have a very hard time with editing my posts into oblivion, I get frustrated when some forums show how many times I have edited something. I also get mad when I am not allowed to delete posts or people can see my edit history. I go back and edit all the time because of the reasons you listed...but I am learning to stop this as I notice my point is better served and I say more quotable things when I just leave them as they are....unedited.

As a personal thing, I'm put off when opening a thread and faced with a huge wall of text. A topic has to be of extreme interest before I'll attempt to read long posts. I don't know if this is an ADHD thing or what, but I suspect a lot of people are put off of reading huge posts. So in that sense, being over-verbose is worse than being concise and getting a dialogue going, bringing other points out later in the thread.

You are investing WAY to much of yourself with something that is considered "fluff".

Fior talks in monologs and tangets. He can talk for 90 mins straight, (timed it once), without ANY interaction from the other person. Most humans don't give a s**t about that much detail for 90% of what they hear. Maybe a discussion amongst work associates. That's a huge maybe.

Fior's monologs are flat out anxiety driven. He has to do this huge core dump of everything and every detail. It's a fire hose on full blast. I used to think he wanted to debate/argue and this was his way to manipulate the situation. I'll beat you into the ground with a ton of fatoids, and you'll scream mercy, and I'll (Fior) win.

Wrong! Even a debate has give and take. Fior was so upset that people thought he just wanted to be an douche, and dominate the conversation. He doesn't realize how long talks or when it derails into another tangent.

I don't know what board you're on that compels you to revise your messages again and again. I personally don't mind grammar and spelling mistakes if they are within a reasonable amount.

Don't usually read "manifesto" style messages. Ones that read like a university paper, with multiple points, and counter points to back up the points. Or threads where there is numerous edits and and replies are then screwed up because of the editing. Just a mess to read. I don't want to work that hard reading.

If you truly have issues condensing your thoughts, do your writing on a email program, or something like text pad. Then cut and past to the board. I also ask myself, does this matter? Helps me trim the excess out.

HTH

Tawaki

Fior? who the...? and what does HTH mean? Please explain.

And your avatar...is that you? who is that...he looks straight messed up.

Fior is my husband. I wrote my husband has this issue in the title of my previous post. Guess it wasn'tclear

The avatar is Pete Doherty who was in the band, Libertines, and now in Babyshambles. Pete is a HAWT train wreck.

HTH=hope this helps.

That's Pete on a GOOD day. Lol...

lol okay thanks.

I have been attacked by people on the spectrum for the same sort of thing.

I am verbose. I am verbose when I write and when I speak. But even moreso when I write. I think it is because of the way my brain works. The only way it seems I can learn something and remember it is if I connect it with a whole bunch of stuff I already know. If something is not exceedingly connected, I lose it. The problem with this becomes when I have to communicate what is in my brain with others. Often times, all of the connections start coming out, even though they are not connections anyone else would need to be able to make sense of what I am saying. The problem is that I have a hard time telling which is information that someone else would need and which is not.

One of the most illustrative assignments I ever got was from my undergraduate academic advisor. She clearly understood what my problem was. She asked me to write a short paper on something. Of course, I came back with something that was about 10 pages long. She said "Great. Now express the same main ideas in 5 pages." I thought "impossible!" But I did it. I got it down to 5 pages. Then she said "OK. Now express the same main idea in 2.5 pages." "Can't be done!" I thought. But lo and behold, I got it down to 2. 5. She then made me condense it to 1 page. Then finally 1 paragraph. Did that one paragraph say everything I had originally included in 10? No. But the most pertinent information was all there.

I still use this in my professional writing. I start by writing exactly what I want to say. Then I start paring it down.

I sometimes do it on online forums, too.

I try to remind myself that the goal of communication is not to gratify myself. It is to transfer my point to the other person. If the length of my expression prevents my point from getting across, then I have failed in communicating. I also remind myself that the internet is more fluid. It is not like a report I will turn in at work. It is more like a conversation. People cannot go back and make multiple edits to past conversations. So I try to limit my edits and restatements to clarification purposes only. If I think the way I originally presented something would make it difficult for someone to understand my point.

There is nothing "wrong" with being verbose. But if it is an impediment to communication, I think it is incumbent on the communicator to try to communicate in a way that effectively transmits their point. Depending on your audience, this might mean being much more to the point. Not an NT or ASD thing, just a simple communication thing.

people dont even like verbose writers anymore from what i can tell, and good metaphors dont hold the same hold over people tehy used to.

with the new info age people are actually better at getting what it is you're saying, and they want to react to that. they dont want you to paint a picture, just give them the outlines they can fit into their own vision. they can relate better that way.

if you write a book of your own consciousness too much that can show you're self-centered and expect everyone to see things the same way you are and automatically enjoy what you're saying and thinking about it as much as you do even though you havent made an effort to make it universal and relatable to all.

My post did flow...

In academic environments I am commended on my writing all the time and have had writings of a creative nature published in the past. I am also an A grade average student at University and have been told that my essays are beautifully written and very well argued by every tutor I have encountered. None of them have said that my writing does not flow or is poorly written.

In fact my English tutor was convinced I would make an excellent journalist!

When it comes to the way my brain processes information I cannot adapt to doing it another way. I need my process to get the academic grades that I do meaning that I have to work though things in a way that is natural for me. If I change it my grade average drops significantly.

When it comes to forum boards, I am often expected to make lots of inane social chitty chat. This is NOT how I communicate. I do not wish to use informal speech in my writings (except for creative purposes) as it comes across as illiterate to my mind. It often consists of text speak and poorly used spelling and grammar.

Ie How u doin' 2day. You ok? I am goin' up the shop. You want anythin'

Its awful!! !! !! !! !!

Going has a G on the end of it. as does anything. It is today not 2day and 'How are you' or 'Are you ok' would be an improvement.

Do I really have to adopt that way of speaking and writing to fit in or communicate with people?

Academic institutions do not have problems with my communication style. Only the general public.