Adult Aspies, When did you discover you were different?

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I'm not different.

Apart from symptoms of a disorder, I'm just like any other male.

I think when I was 8 years old I noticed I was a lot different than other kids. I was always shy and more intelligent than most of the kids around me were. That said, I always assumed (and so did everyone around me) that I was just the shy and quiet type. Deep down, I knew my problems were a lot worse than that, but I could never articulate how. Nor did I try, because ... well, everyone has problems.

And it's true – everyone does. In my case, though, I became less functional over time and eventually fell into depression. While I was in hospital, my psychiatrist suggested that I might have Aspergers. I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, but after reading about it and talking to people with AS on forums (such as this one ), I realised that it made sense – and, finally, so did I.

I have recently been diagnosed with AS, and I'll admit to feeling relieved. It's good to finally fit in somewhere. Still getting used to it, really.

I can't remember a time when I ever felt like I really fit in tbh. However, I have very little memory from before about 10 years old. From the little snippets I do have memory of, I can very much relate to the previous posters' comments about rarely understanding why I was in trouble and being surrounded by 'predators'. I am sure there were good times too but I think there is a reason I blocked that time out.

As long as I can remember. I always had a very clear sense that there were other people, and then there was me, completely separate from everybody else in the world. One of my earliest memories was when I was about 3/4 at the local playgroup, they were making us walk in a line and sing "If you're happy and you know it", and I distinctly remember thinking "This is stupid".

Yes... I'm like you... older, and we just had to deal with a level of scorn and being outcasts. In 2008 I had a panic episode... and I had just gone through chemo a couple of years before, and then in 2007 I had shingles (worse than cancer... GET THE VACCINE!), and I googled PTSD because I thought maybe I had that. I started taking online psych tests, and ended up with "You are probably an Aspie," a couple of weeks later. Then I started reading here...

I believe about First grade, but it was not until Junior HS that I started getting really bullied. In Elementary school my meltdowns accquired a legendary status. The older I got, the more I realized I did not belong. Something that was also helped because my family frequently moved. Sucked..
Even in college, I was an outsider, that one surprised me. That was when I woke up to the fact that "things were not right" with me. Previously, I felt everyone seemed to be jerks...
To be more specific, when I started trying to date. NIGHTMARE..

Sincerely,
Matthew

I always felt different but I became aware of it in my first school years. That's when all hell broke loose and the endless cycle of psychological testing started.

I think I had some idea that I was different from other kids by first grade, as none of my classmates really interacted to me like they did to each other.

It was obvious in grade 7 (when the bullying went from mild teasing to sadistic acts of violence) but the first clue was Grade 2 when we were asked to draw the sun. All the kids did the usual yellow with straight lines while I drew it white (as it is in space) with the actual wavelengths that exist but we can't see. It wasn't until years later did I realize how far ahead I was of everyone else academically and not until I became an adult did I realize how far I was behind socially.

Kindergarten was when I started to realize I was different; however, from watching home videos and reading my baby book, I can see that I had social difficulties much earlier.

Age 3-4, preschool and kindergarden, the other children were making friends and playing in groups and I was playing alone or drawing alot, I had very different intrests in play then the other kids did, I noticed all this then although I did not think much of it as I can recall. Come to think this were the odd doctors appointments started to come in. Too bad I still had to go undiagnosed for another 7-8 years. AS was at this time a brand new diagnosis or did not exist yet(1993-1994).

I knew I was different in my childhood.
My adult life is a struggle to be "less different" as I grow up.

A few more words:

I remember that when I was in kindergarten, I wasn't interested in playing with another kids. I remember the loneliness, but I didn't know what was wrong with me... I suffered a lot.
Later, from 6 to 12 yeears old, I had friends. That was almost normal. But then, in my teens, all went bad again.
I do not know if I'm lonely now. It depends on what the meaning of the word is. (From a NT stand of view, I'm a freaky lonely guy!)

I always had the feeling in elementary school of being on the outside looking in. It seemed like everyone else except me was part of a social circle, and I just didn't fit in anywhere. I also remember wearing shorts and a T-shirt on very cold days. Parents would give me the "look," like, what the hell?!

Hard to put an exact time on it as I've been thinking about it more and more in the past 3 years or so, but say about 1 year ago despite being diagnosed as a young kid.

Diagnosed around 4-6 (can't remember exactly when)
Never saw myself as 'different' at all up to around age 13, though looking back at it now it's pretty apparent I was in fact 'different'.
Had some issues with bullying at school aged 13, parents raised the issue of AS, I just denied having it.
Did a bit more reading about it at age 14 and found some (but not all) of the typical traits of AS suited me. May have started to accept I have it but didn't really think much of it.
Carried on at secondary school until 18 and didn't really think about AS or being 'different'
Suffered some pretty bad depression at 18 between finishing school and going to uni, started rethinking about my condition. I remember discussing the issue of 'being different' with a new friend I met and having AS as a kid but expressing uncertainty as to whether I still had it. Still I thought of myself as normal in many ways.
Started having stress and anxiety issues at 20 and also begun researching about careers and finding out more about myself, so thought even more about my condition.
My anxiety got better now at 21 and I think of myself as 'different' more often than I used to, though also with more acceptance of my condition. It also depends on the situation I'm in, sometimes thinking I'm different, sometimes thinking I'm not, sometimes thinking I'm different but doing well considering that that time.

That's what I found too. Sure, there were nerdier kids than I, but even they all huddled together and were all too nerdy for me to relate to (being a semi-nerd, semi-jock). Even the new kids seemed to gravitate towards groups but I was always on the outside and never once got an 'invite' from any group in my entire time in school.