why are they pushing me out of my comfort zone?

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I shop this way too. I know the brands and my size in those brands. No fussing, just yes or no.

That's not fair. You shouldn't be encouraged to do your own shopping and then be criticized for what you choose. Wear what you like and if they're bothered by it, too bad.

Is that what this is? It's really frustrating to deal with. Well, it's more frustrating that other people expect me to just know how to do things without explaining them. If they were more accommodating it wouldn't matter as much.



I agree with all of this. I think my posts last night may have come across as encouraging not trying to be independent, but I was more trying to point out that these tasks can be difficult. I think trying to learn skills like this is overall a good idea. I much prefer being able to do many of the things I can do than relying on other people to do them for me.

Yes, motor planning difficulties are associated with dyspraxia and extremely common if not usual in autism. It explained a lot for me to discover that when neurotypical people are faced with a multi-step process, their brain automatically calculates the appropriate actions based on prior experiences and their body automatically follows them. No conscious thought is involved unless it involves learning a skill or gadget they've never used before, and even then, their brain automatically "fill in the blanks" by referencing past experiences.

I've noticed that many NTs, who don't understand that their brain does this and a few people's don't, refer to this process as "common sense" and complain that I don't have any when I stand in the kitchen and bewilderedly try to figure out the steps and tools necessary to transfer a pile of raw vegetables into a meal. Autistic people often have to manually figure out every step of a multi-step process and also manually carry the steps out - for example, they will have to pay attention to where they are putting down a pan lid so it doesn't knock anything over or fall off the work surface, whereas a NT person doesn't even have to look because their brain already calculated an appropriate location based on prior observation of the area and automatically moved their arm there! Combine this with the autistic inability to multitask and things like this are incredibly difficult unless there are clear step-by-step instructions or the person has completed the task enough times to memorise the steps. And of course it is sadly also something that is almost impossible for neurotypical people to understand, because for someone who takes these automatic processes for granted, it just comes over as stupidity or laziness.

Does this also have anything to do with having to relearn the same skills or tasks in different contexts?

And thank you, that puts a lot of things into words that I had not fully been able to before. When I try to explain these things to my therapist (for example) she says most people have trouble like this, but I suspected this was not the case because other people just do not seem to have or understand the kinds of difficulties I have with these things (and that lack of understanding may be why she thinks I am saying something different).

I do not know if I have dyspraxia or not. I have some rather dyspraxic issues, but I have never really been assessed.

THIS is why:

Last edited by goldfish21 on 01 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This^^^^^

You know what I did last night? Anything I wanted to do.

Why? Because I don't have to answer to anyone.

Being self-sufficient is worth it.