Cheating is a trait/symptom of AS?

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League_Girl
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04 Mar 2013, 1:11 pm

Triple__B wrote:

So I have been recently seeing a psychologist because for a while now, something is not right and my wife wanted me to talk with someone. I won't list all my Asperger's traits now, but after the first time I read about AS, EVERYTHING seemed to make sense. The more I read, the more I was relating to AS. My first visit to the therapist she wanted me to research Social Phobia and see if I thought that might be affecting me, so I did. The symptoms made sense, only I have virtually no anxiousness or fear in social situations and don't mind public speaking, eating in public, ect. My problem with social situations is that I can't relate to people and have no idea what to do in a conversation. I told her this on the second visit and she agreed then that's probably not it and we talked more about what it might be. By the end of the session I had told her that I thought it could be Asperger's and she said she didn't think so at this point. She said all her Asperger patients cheated on their spouse and didn't know it was wrong, so he just kept on cheating like 20 times. And because I didn't cheat on my wife 20 times and knew that that would be wrong, that she doesn't feel that I have it. I explained to her my problems with relating, sensory sensitivities to light/abrupt noises, robot movements as a kid, empathy and sarcasm problems, and the overall feelings of not fitting in my entire life.

Now she wants me to look into AvPD or extreme introversion with a high IQ and see if that fits. (AvPD fits but again I don't get anxious per se and I do feel like an introvert but my online IQ scores are normal at 100-110)

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

No it's not an aspie trait. Anyone can do it. Only way I can see how it be related to AS is if the aspie didn't know they were dating someone because they thought they were going out as friends because they didn't pick up on the cues. They may not know someone is hitting on them so they mistake it as friendliness. One person wrote here how he accidentally cheated on his partner because he didn't know this girl was flirting with him and he was enabling her doing it because he totally misread the situation and he got literally close to her and kept letting her touch him. Of course his partner understood it was not his intent so she told him it was inappropriate what he was doing. So now she just watches him now in those kinds of situations when there will be women involved because he doesn't pick on on cues. Also cheating is a relative word because it means different things to different people. Some people think cyber sex is cheating or looking at porn is cheating so an aspie could do these things and not be aware that it's cheating on their partner but this mistake can happen to anyone, nothing to do with AS. If one person thinks looking at porn is cheating and the other person doesn't think it is so he looks at it and gets caught, oh boy there is a problem. That is why it's important both people talk about what they see as cheating and also check with their partner first before doing something.

But no I repeat cheating is not an aspie trait. Some aspies just don't even care so they do it anyway. If they have an open relationship, that's different. But it's only a open one if both partners agree to it.

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BTDT
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04 Mar 2013, 1:13 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial ... y_disorder

Perhaps she was thinking of this?

Joe90
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04 Mar 2013, 1:16 pm

AHA!! !! I KNEW a post like this would suddenly spring up! Saying is something that NTs typically seem to do more than Aspies is now suddenly an Aspie trait! In so many threads it has said about NTs lying, stealing and cheating. Cheating is not exactly an NT trait because that's just bigotry, but I can honestly say that everybody I know has experienced cheating at some point in their lives by a partner, either they have done it themselves or their partner has, or somebody they are close to have done it to their partners, etc etc etc.

OK, I cannot wait for the ''is socialising an Aspie trait?'' thread to spring up next....

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League_Girl
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04 Mar 2013, 1:20 pm

Joe90 wrote:

OK, I cannot wait for the ''is socialising an Aspie trait?'' thread to spring up next....

Done.

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04 Mar 2013, 1:23 pm

Ichinin wrote:

Triple__B wrote:

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD. Not AS.

WRONG.

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with being human (or any other sexual animal). It is not a trait exhibited solely by Aspies, people with ASPD, PTSD, or any other syndrome or disorder. Promiscuity is associated with any person that has sex with multiple partners. "Cheating" occurs if at least one of the people involved in a promiscuous relationship is married.

/thread

Venger
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04 Mar 2013, 1:37 pm

Fnord wrote:

Ichinin wrote:

Triple__B wrote:

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD. Not AS.

Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy(ASPD) Symptoms wrote:

1. GLIB AND SUPERFICIAL CHARM

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT

7. SHALLOW AFFECT

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS

14. IMPULSIVITY

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS

17. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY

League_Girl
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04 Mar 2013, 1:57 pm

I think you're being literal. If I decided to cheat on my husband, I now have ASPD. Got it.

That's like saying if someone has no interest in socializing with a person, they have AS.

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Fnord
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04 Mar 2013, 1:58 pm

Venger wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Ichinin wrote:

Triple__B wrote:

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD. Not AS.

WRONG.

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with being human (or any other sexual animal). It is not a trait exhibited solely by Aspies, people with ASPD, PTSD, or any other syndrome or disorder. Promiscuity is associated with any person that has sex with multiple partners. "Cheating" occurs if at least one of the people involved in a promiscuous relationship is married.

/thread

Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy(ASPD) Symptoms wrote:

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

Did you happen to read the part where I said that it is not a trait exhibited SOLELY by Aspies? I emboldened the that part of my post for you, just in case you missed it.

Just because a person is promiscuous, that does not mean that the person is an Aspie; nor are all Aspies promiscuous.

In addition, you seem to be equating Asperger's Syndrome with Psychopathy. They are not the same conditions. We Aspies are not psychopaths, and I resent your implication that we are.

Venger
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04 Mar 2013, 2:04 pm

Fnord wrote:

In addition, you seem to be equating Asperger's Syndrome with Psychopathy. They are not the same conditions. We Aspies are not psychopaths, and I resent your implication that we are.

No I wasn't. I was agreeing with the person who said that sexual-promiscuity is mainly a sociopath(ASPD) trait. I'm well aware that ASPD has absolutely nothing to do with AS.

Ichinin
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04 Mar 2013, 2:07 pm

Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy(ASPD) Symptoms wrote:

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

Game, set and match.

Fnord wrote:

Promiscuity is a TRAIT frequently related to ASPD. Everyone can be promiscous, but it is more common that psychopats are promiscous, that does not mean that everyone who is promiscous is a psycho, nor does it mean that every psycho is promiscous. It means that it has a PREDOMINANT relationship to ASPD.

Quote:

In addition, you seem to be equating Asperger's Syndrome with Psychopathy. They are not the same conditions. We Aspies are not psychopaths, and I resent your implication that we are.

Cannot see any such equation to psychopathy.

</Thread>

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Ettina
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04 Mar 2013, 2:27 pm

Quote:

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD. Not AS.

Cheating is not equivalent to promiscuity. You can be promiscuous and not be a cheater, if you make it clear that you're not exclusive, or if you have many consecutive relationships.

And a cheater may have only two partners, which is not very promiscuous.

Quote:

Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy(ASPD) Symptoms wrote:

Psychopathy is not the same as ASPD. ASPD is a broader category than psychopathy.

Venger
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04 Mar 2013, 2:32 pm

Ettina wrote:

Quote:

Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD. Not AS.

Quote:

Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy(ASPD) Symptoms wrote:

Psychopathy is not the same as ASPD. ASPD is a broader category than psychopathy.

Sociopathy, psychopathy, and ASPD are exactly the same, with ASPD being the now official diagnosis and the others being older terms for the same condition. In actual usage people generally assume different severity levels when different terms are used based upon how harsh each term sounds.

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04 Mar 2013, 2:35 pm

Quote:

DSM-5 ASPD will be the same as psychopathy. But DSM-IV ASPD is not equivalent to psychopathy. Only about 30% of DSM-IV ASPDs are actually psychopaths, the rest are criminals for other reasons.

DSM-IV ASPD criteria:
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.

5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

B. The individual is at least age 18 years of age.

C. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onset before age 15.

D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia or a manic episode.

http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Personality%20Disorders/DSM-IV%20and%20DSM-5%20Criteria%20for%20the%20Personality%20Disorders%205-1-12.pdf

Note that the PCL-R includes a number of traits not mentioned in the DSM-IV ASPD criteria.

Ichinin
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04 Mar 2013, 3:04 pm

Ettina wrote:

DSM-5 ASPD will be the same as psychopathy. But DSM-IV ASPD is not equivalent to psychopathy. Only about 30% of DSM-IV ASPDs are actually psychopaths, the rest are criminals for other reasons.

Oh, so all with ASPD are criminals or psychopaths?

Funny, i do not see a 100% guaranteed link with everyone being a criminal, or specifically a psychopath (ASPD also include narcissism).

Psychos are generally unpleasant people to be around, but they are not guaranteed to be criminals. None of the ones i have met were criminals, but i wish their asses would be thrown in jail.

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Who_Am_I
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04 Mar 2013, 4:54 pm

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

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04 Mar 2013, 4:57 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

That is a great question!! !

It is probably easier for girls than guys.

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