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Foreverlost
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11 Mar 2013, 2:33 am

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
ZombieBrideXD wrote:
Foreverlost wrote:
It's just a societal thing. You have to atleast pretend to conform to it.

I remember in middle school we used to have these assemblies where they'd hire a motivational speaker with a physical disabilty (paralyzed, an amputee ect.) to come and address us all with an "inspirational speech". I always was like "this is bullsh*t", I'd say just because someone gets into a car accident and loses the use of their legs doesn't mean they're a vessle of damn inspiration, why do I have to hear this ect. and I'd try to walk out . This would land me in huge trouble obviously.

Even if you lack empathy youself about a particular situation you still have to "Play along" and act the part (whether that's staying silent, clapping, shedding a tear ect.) just out of courtesy for vther people. Sometimes it's lame and feels like a chore to do but it's just necessary to fit in with society.



oh, thank you for the explanation, and not attacking me


Who's attacking? I thought we were all trying to help you. My bad. This is where I bow out. Good luck.



I think she just means she doesn't want to be told off or that she should already "know" to act this way just because it's human emotion. She just wanted to know the reason why people "freak out" when you don't act accordingly in a situation like a funeral ect.



ZombieBrideXD
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11 Mar 2013, 2:49 am

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
ZombieBrideXD wrote:
Foreverlost wrote:
It's just a societal thing. You have to atleast pretend to conform to it.

I remember in middle school we used to have these assemblies where they'd hire a motivational speaker with a physical disabilty (paralyzed, an amputee ect.) to come and address us all with an "inspirational speech". I always was like "this is bullsh*t", I'd say just because someone gets into a car accident and loses the use of their legs doesn't mean they're a vessle of damn inspiration, why do I have to hear this ect. and I'd try to walk out . This would land me in huge trouble obviously.

Even if you lack empathy youself about a particular situation you still have to "Play along" and act the part (whether that's staying silent, clapping, shedding a tear ect.) just out of courtesy for vther people. Sometimes it's lame and feels like a chore to do but it's just necessary to fit in with society.



oh, thank you for the explanation, and not attacking me


Who's attacking? I thought we were all trying to help you. My bad. This is where I bow out. Good luck.


i cant really tell the difference, a lot of people try and help me with social situations but it just ends up stressing me out



whirlingmind
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11 Mar 2013, 7:11 am

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
why is it sooo important to be 'respectful' and 'quiet'?

for example, my sister and i were sitting together in the church during my great grandfathers funeral, and i kept trying to talk to her because it was REALLY boring, she kept telling me to 'stop' and 'shut up' when both me and her are EXTREME atheist's so why would she even care? Afterwards on the drive home, my cousins were really upset saying i was 'disrespectful' when really, its not a big deal! whats the deal?

Another example, durning the wake, everyone was talking and laughing (Mi'qMac wakes are usually very fun) but then everyone got really quiet, so i made a funny and said "who died?" and everyone got REALLY mad! IT WAS A FUNNY JOKE! i dont get why everyone is SO hung up on being respectful.

those dang neurotypicals spoil everyones fun


I am really surprised that you behaved like that in a funeral. Aspies are usually very rule bound and will even become upset themselves if someone else doesn't follow the rules (OK this may be an unwritten rule but it is still a rule when you are told that you mustn't do this or that). Funerals are also scary because someone has died and there is a lot of raw emotion going round so that alone would make most Aspies worry enough to at least sit quietly. You don't have to agree with how everyone else feels or feel sad yourself to not make a noise or disrespect what is going on. Hope that explains.


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DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum