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Feeling even more frightened and alienated...

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snowman70
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15 Mar 2013, 8:06 pm

I usually use pets...like if I go to someones house, I'll spend more time hanging out with their dog or cat than them. But it allows me to socialize and hopefully not seem so weird.

Made it pretty awkward when my last neighbor had a mean cat though, that thing tore me up, but I loved every second of it :oops:



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15 Mar 2013, 9:01 pm

I prefer being home with the wild animals,I can tell what their motives are.
People confuse me,I have no idea what their intentions are.
I can't even think of the last time I went somewhere and had a good time.
I go to the store,therapy and my son's house.
That's enough for me.
The last friend I had that I actually had fun with was a schizophrenic woman but she moved away.Wed get drunk and watch meteor showers.That was nice.
I'm to tired to figure people out,it's like doing algebra,makes my brain hurt.
It'll most likely just be me and my pet iguana from now on out.
At least I know the lizard likes me.And an animal has never once made me feel bad.


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16 Mar 2013, 1:28 pm

tall-p wrote:
Some of my most painful memories are of parties. Horrible. Total failure. I even remember a birthday party from the 4th grade... 60 years ago. I still remember the name of the kid... I've Googled them (of course), and they still live there.


I know what you mean about parties and gatherings like that. I think feeling alienated at these sorts of things is very normal.

I'm more on about being at a gathering of people with the same interest, and actually trying not to freak out because you think they are all looking at you or something like that.



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16 Mar 2013, 1:32 pm

I don't see why you guys subject yourself to those kinds of parties. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have to go. I get it if your parents or your family or something is forcing you, but... seriously, that's YOUR time and wasting it feeling uncomfortable at a party doesn't sound too smart to me. You've got the right to say "no".


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16 Mar 2013, 2:48 pm

I also feel that way. I thought that since music is my special interest, I'd get back into the music room at Stepping Stones on Friday afternoons. I was playing the drums because that's the only instrument that I'm able to play. One of the a**holes were up there playing the guitar and I gave him a list with two songs that I know well and asked if he could play one of them. He laughed at my wishes and played three psychedelic songs that are very hard to keep a beat to. I could actually feel waves of criticism coming from his mind and he didn't even have to say anything for me to know that I sucked at keeping time with the songs that he prefers to play. I'm never going up into that music room again. He knows how to play one of my favourite songs. He just won't play it, because he doesn't want me in the room with him. I can also sense that he doesn't want me up there.


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Tequila
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16 Mar 2013, 3:57 pm

Callista wrote:
I don't see why you guys subject yourself to those kinds of parties. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have to go. I get it if your parents or your family or something is forcing you, but... seriously, that's YOUR time and wasting it feeling uncomfortable at a party doesn't sound too smart to me. You've got the right to say "no".


I don't go to parties.

The kind of thing that I'm on about is that I can be that nervous at a gathering - constantly moving my head, looking to and away at other people that I get women think I am flirting with them, when really I don't know them and think I would freak out if they had a conversation with me, because I wouldn't be able to respond and ask questions.

It's all very weird.



Callista
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17 Mar 2013, 11:05 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I also feel that way. I thought that since music is my special interest, I'd get back into the music room at Stepping Stones on Friday afternoons. I was playing the drums because that's the only instrument that I'm able to play. One of the a**holes were up there playing the guitar and I gave him a list with two songs that I know well and asked if he could play one of them. He laughed at my wishes and played three psychedelic songs that are very hard to keep a beat to. I could actually feel waves of criticism coming from his mind and he didn't even have to say anything for me to know that I sucked at keeping time with the songs that he prefers to play. I'm never going up into that music room again. He knows how to play one of my favourite songs. He just won't play it, because he doesn't want me in the room with him. I can also sense that he doesn't want me up there.
Wow, what a jerk. Just because he likes different music doesn't mean he should laugh at you for liking what you like. Does this guy work there or something? If he doesn't, if he's just a regular, I bet you'd be able to go in when he's not there and play the drums all you like. He shouldn't have the right to chase you out like that.


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17 Mar 2013, 11:18 am

Callista wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I also feel that way. I thought that since music is my special interest, I'd get back into the music room at Stepping Stones on Friday afternoons. I was playing the drums because that's the only instrument that I'm able to play. One of the a**holes were up there playing the guitar and I gave him a list with two songs that I know well and asked if he could play one of them. He laughed at my wishes and played three psychedelic songs that are very hard to keep a beat to. I could actually feel waves of criticism coming from his mind and he didn't even have to say anything for me to know that I sucked at keeping time with the songs that he prefers to play. I'm never going up into that music room again. He knows how to play one of my favourite songs. He just won't play it, because he doesn't want me in the room with him. I can also sense that he doesn't want me up there.
Wow, what a jerk. Just because he likes different music doesn't mean he should laugh at you for liking what you like. Does this guy work there or something? If he doesn't, if he's just a regular, I bet you'd be able to go in when he's not there and play the drums all you like. He shouldn't have the right to chase you out like that.


I agree

Assert your equal right to be there!

Is there anyone else there who plays an instrument that you get on better with?

If there is you could arrange to meet in the music room and play together and just ignore this idiot



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17 Mar 2013, 11:20 am

Classic Social Anxiety and avoidance....

Without the "voice on the shoulder" approach, probably the easiest solution is non-threatening (read: Aspie) offline social groups.


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