sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
23 Mar 2013, 1:17 am
Wow, I can't even think what that would be like. I've got so much anxiety and confusion just from my friend taking it so seriously, I'm not sure on official diagnosis could bring on any more. I'm pretty sure it would bring a lot of peace.
How do I deal with my husband then? I mean, if I end up in an argument with him, or if I'm frustrated because my boss of several years is not clear and then frustrated because I didn't infer, or whatever.... am I just supposed to all the sudden say, "Oh, well I have Asperger's so I'm going to need you to change that."
Anyway, this is all speculative right now anyway, and it won't change anything unless I know for sure. So,thank you all for replying, it's been some much needed comfort. I don't want to wast everyone's time with "what-if" for too long. This all will be much easier to think about if I get an official diagnosis. I'm leaning more towards yes, but I'll need to find out where to go in my area.
Working with people with Asperger's can be quite frustrating. ( I am frequently frustrated working with neuro-typicals, so I know.)
As for changing things, something as simple as changing the lighting - incandescent work better than florescent - can change how you interpret what your boss is saying to you. It also is a physical sign that they can look to and know they are adapting to you.
Some people use their 'impairment' as a "excuse," some sort of 'special you' that others needed to kowtow to. That gets old really fast in relationships. Be the brave soul that finds wit in the situation, make sure others are not allowed to feel helpless or uncomfortable about you. People will forget what you said but they never forget how they felt.
.
Oh, I laughed when I read that! I wish! Like they would do that anyway! Well, if you can get them to go for it, I heartily support you.
If you can write out how you can better handle a situation when you are frustrated, that helps.
23 Mar 2013, 2:25 am
I was formally diagnosed at 45 but suspected for three years. It was a tremendous relief for me 
I'm very optimistic about my future and my marriage.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
23 Mar 2013, 2:25 am
For the better, definitely.
I'm 30, only figured this out 6 months ago, have learned a lot about it since after reading a few books. Knowing is so much better, as then you can recognize different things you do/don't do and work on your strengths/weaknesses in social & communication things. Every day I get a little sharper at realizing I'm about to make some mistake or another and then avoid it and act more appropriately. If I never knew what the various things were I was likely to mess up, I wouldn't be able to be self aware of them and try improve. It's way way WAY WAY better knowing & being able to work on it than being ignorant and having these things just mess up your life for what seems like no apparent reason. I see no reason to ever want to go back to not knowing. Knowing & learning and improving is better, hands down.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
23 Mar 2013, 2:30 am
I'm going to check to see where I can get that. Thank you!
I'm glad you laughed.
It was funny in my head, too.
Thank you all for your support! I'm looking for places for a formal diagnosis right now. I'll be talking it over with my husband tonight too. It's going to be weird... and he didn't really take me seriously before, mostly just because it was all a little out of the blue, but I know he'll come around.
23 Mar 2013, 4:33 am
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