Avatars...and other things (misinterpretation)

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I get told I look like a Zombie or someone who got a lobotomy.

Yeah, I've had a picture I considered "thoughtful" interpreted as "hostile" before. I've gotten the same misinterpretation in real life, so I guess when I'm thinking (which usually means I'm pretty happy) I look hostile.
I guess that's okay since I am hostile when interrupted, anyway.

When I was young, I was always being told 'cheer up it might never happen' when I was perfectly happy. I have also been told that I pull faces. I really don't know when I do this or when it is not appropriate. I do not like to see photographs of myself so can't compare to reality.

All throughout my life people have felt the need to vocalize to me that they thought my face expression indicated apathy, exhaustion, or irritation. I never know how to respond to that. I'm not doing it intentionally, nor did I feel emotionally consistent with those appraisals at the time they were communicated to me by others.

I have similar problems with vocal tonality. This is a significant problem for me, as much as my own (mis)interpretations of other people's vocal tone or facial expression. People are always attaching emotional meaning to the things that I say that are in no way intended on my part.

It's frustrating. It is a large part of the reason I choose not to socialize with people unless it is required for business, family, or work purposes.

Yes, I've had that statement directed at me a number of times as well.

But failure is not negative, it is just a learning curve. It's one possible outcome to a sequence of events and usually means that your preferred outcome has not occurred. Nothing more. Only your perception and interpretation of failure determines if it is negative to you.

In one sense there is no such thing as a 'failure' just an outcome that was not your preferred one.

There is no negativity about it.

If my preferred outcome does not occur I either try again (with a few adjustments to my methodology) or go do something else. What is the big deal?

Life is a journey and should be fun, I can't be bothered to get that hung up on something because it didn't work how I would have liked it to. It was still an experience at the end of the day...and at least I got to try it out even if things didn't work out how I would have preferred them to. Nothing lost, nothing to fear, no big deal, nothing negative there for people to feel bad about.

Sometimes I get my desired or preferred result, sometimes I don't. Life is like long scientific experiment sometimes lol. You set your experiment up, have a go at it, sometimes you get the results that confirm your hypothesis and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you need to retry the experiment after making a few adjustments and sometimes you are better off moving on to a slightly different one.

Also it can be fun to learn about what you are (or can become) skilled at and what is not really your thing. It helps you to learn about yourself as well as the world around you. It can make life rather exciting...especially as sometimes the result you do get can be better than the preferred result you wanted anyway. You never quite know where it's going to go, or what you might discover or learn or get to experience this time.

I don't really suffer from problems like self hatred and stuff so I don't really have to worry about that side of things. In general I am just happy to be alive and have the chance to indulge some of my passions.

I only really get down about the how society keeps trying to tell me I am wrong to feel that way and keeps trying to medicate me or reject me because I am not supposed to be happy just being me and pottering around enjoying indulging my hobbies and learning new things. Apparently, I am supposed to be petrified of failure, worried about success and obsessed with not owning an Ipad to the point that it is supposed to cause me horrible misery if I don't. I am supposed to sit around beating myself up and feeling bad about myself because I don't have x, y and z and don't even need or want x, y and z in the first place.

Unless I have status and material possessions the world tells me I should feel like I am not worthy...

The world has the strangest way of thinking. Not worthy of what exactly? It's approval? Ok then. Maybe I don't need it's approval to like myself, perhaps I only need my own?

It would be nice if it could accept that people are individuals though and I would prefer it if it didn't keep discriminating against me in various ways because my way of thinking is different.

Last edited by bumble on 27 Mar 2013, 7:53 pm, edited 4 times in total.

I used to get told that I looked angry a lot. I don't think I did. But my semi blank face seems angry/upset from what people have told me. I used to make an effort to false smile all the time but it got really tiresome and I had to stop doing it.

I'm curious about what you think you are conveying in your current avatar.

My hair!

As I am presently into the whole paleo thing I stopped using chemical shampoos on my hair and took to using the 'no pooing' method as it is called where you use natural produce only such as bicarbonate of soda or cyder vinegar mixed in water or a little coconut oil if you want to condition it and so on.

The picture was taken about 2 months after commencing the new method, before that my hair was really really frizzy in comparison: see below...

Before:



And another picture from after taken on a different day:



After avatar picture:



And a few months later because I got a trim (but am growing it again):




Yes I do still colour my hair but not very frequently and with as gentle a colourant as I can find (usually with the hairdresser as they use better quality product than the stuff you get commercially). I do this because I am starting to go a bit grey...I am 37 now (in other words I am ancient). Although in that instance I think it is just a matter of lighting making it look a different colour as in some lights that shade looked red and in others dark brown.

Hair!

I was pleased to see the frizz go....its natural and it has always been frizzy until I went with the paleo influenced technique.

I don't use styling products on it either...just the occasional colour. This way I can wash it (with the bicarb or cyder vinegar etc) let it dry naturally and just go. No styling required unless I want to straighten it.

The item in the first picture is a butternut squash in case anyone was wondering.

You asked

Sorry about the no make-up and lack of smile...I don't wear either very often it seems!

I got fed up with people on other sites complaining that I never smiled etc so I did this picture for them (it's an old one now though as I was about 7 years younger in it and I had straightened my hair. It is also shorter)



Just to balance things out.

I really only smile when I find something exciting or funny...so unless something amusing is happening whilst the picture is being taken I always look a bit grumpy apparently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_poo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleolithic_diet

Good book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Primal-Body-Min ... 983&sr=8-1

It has chapters on how the modern day diet and environmental factors affect the human brain although I have not read that far yet.

Good site: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Primal-Body-Min ... 983&sr=8-1

The link is for the primal blueprint diet which is very similar to the paleo diet. Lot of good paleo information there all the same.

Paleo diet is also known as: caveman diet, hunter-gatherer diet and the stone age diet etc. There are different versions of it though.

This also looks like a good book but, although they had a copy when I ordered it, they have still not sent it out...tut.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0955 ... UTF8&psc=1

"Human Evolution, Diet and Health'

Does your comb easily using the natural products? My hair is very similar to yours, and I have to slather on the conditioner to get a comb through it. Definitely am going to check out your links.

At first it was a bit tough but I can get a comb through it ok now. When you first change methods the hair will take a little while to settle down. A lot of people wear a hat for the first few weeks or so.

What I do is use a wide toothed comb to remove any tangles (if any) and then brush it through with a boars hair brush to distribute the natural oils throughout the hair. The hair will not go greasy and the natural oils protect the hair and condition it. What happens with chemical shampoos is that they cause an imbalance in those oils which either dries the hair out or makes it greasy (depending on your hair type). When you stop using said shampoos the natural oil production in your scalp balances out. You need to avoid stripping them from the hair if you can. They also seem to stop it from getting as tangled, I don't get nearly as many knots in my hair as I used to. It used to be so bad I'd break combs trying to get them through it, now I don't do that.

I also find that rinsing my hair in mineral water also helps especially if you live in a hard water area. If the curl comes out a little after brushing I spritz it with a little mineral water although it will usually bounce back without my needing to do that.

Some people use a little virgin pure coconut oil to help if need be.

You will go through a few weeks of hair hell at first though until it settles down and finds the right natural balance.

The good thing about this way of washing your hair is that you can eat the things you wash it in! The coconut oil can be used for frying or just for eating if you like to do that, the vinegar can be used on food and the bicarbonate can be used to bake with.

It's very versatile lol

Last edited by bumble on 29 Mar 2013, 1:14 am, edited 4 times in total.

On first brushing it I can find it pulls the curl out a bit but it will soon bounce back. If it does not then a light spritz of mineral water after brushing can help. Generally I don't need to do that though.

I think a lot of society in general feels that "their" way of thinking is the only acceptable and "correct" way, and that everyone else is supposed to follow suit, like the "sheeple" we so often see all around us.

The "problem" is that not all of us are cut out to be "sheeple". Some of us actually do have thoughts, feelings and minds of our own!

The "sheeple" can't understand how anyone could not be just like the rest of them, and that is what causes their disapproval of anyone who is different.

People like us (non-"sheeple") just need to go about our own lives and seek out our own happiness, without looking for approval from anyone else but ourselves. When we can stop worrying about what other people think, the happier we will be. If we aren't harming ourselves or others, why worry about it?