I can get into relationships but having a happy time in them is another matter.
I think that I had been brainwashed by society to think that I needed to be in a relationship in order to be 'normal' but I now see that it's more about doing what you feel most comfortable with
I seem to work better living in a companionable friendship with a man than in a physical relationship as there is sufficient emotional distance that means I am not demanding of attention or clingy
In a relationship it's far more emotionally fraught and stressful with both sides trying to control each other far more than in a friendship in my opinion
Also as I get older it's harder to find people to have relationships with and also over time you develop very specific requirements in a person ie you get more picky as to what you want
When one relationship ended I used to panic and find another one as soon as possible but I don't feel like that any more.
I feel worn out from them and less inclined to bother seeking another one.
I have male friendship and company so I am content with this
If I see images of happy couples or films/TV programmes with couples in them, it can make me feel I want the same thing but this feeling is only fleeting and I know it is societal pressure which I can choose whether to take notice of or not.
29 Mar 2013, 6:05 am
