Just Diagnosed, yet somewhat Skeptical (Long)

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DVCal Thanks for the reply. Hillarious (referring to us as "broken people"). But, I suppose it is true. I am amazed it took me so long (recently turned 50) to figure this out.

Is this true? I have been doubting mine for six months since I got it.

StereoLake Thanks for the reply.

I actually asked my wife (who works in the mental health field, but was new to Aspergers) to read several books (including Tony Attwood’s The Complete Guide to Aspergers). She also read most of the 30+ page document I wrote (and provided to the Psychologist). She also read my answers to all the questionnaires. She agreed with more than 97% of my answers (she actually wanted me to “up” my responses for some of the items on the AQ test from “slightly” to “strongly”). I did try to get input from my parents (who are in their 70s). I included some of their comments on the Free-Form Intake questionnaire. But, unfortunately, they don’t have a great recollection of events > 60 years ago.

As I mentioned in another response, I am becoming less skeptical 

I'm not properly diagnosed, but I'm a bit like you. I score high in "recognising social cues" kind of tests, because I've had time to be in and learn from social interactions (you can see my previous posts to get the gist of it.)

I think you can use your diagnosis as a tool to find the information and support you need, like being a member of this forum, but refuse to be defined by it. You don't want to live with a label that is other than "Me".

Perhaps I'm younger than you and less experienced so may not be in a position to offer advice, but as I feel at peace with myself now (I wasn't in the past), here are my thoughts:

Remeber, there is nothing "wrong" with you. You're not "missing" anything. You only perceive things in a different way than most people, like how a blind person would perceive the world. You seem to be someone who is always trying to improve and learn. If you have that trait, you'll get where you want to be.

Here are some of my favourite quotes which may help:

"When you can't change the direction of the wind - adjust your sails." - H Jackson Brown Jr.
"Happiness is not about external circumstances; it's a concious choice" - Unknown
"Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present." - Regina Brett

One final thought ... focus on something positive. Your focus determines your reality.

Last edited by thelostdesign on 26 Apr 2013, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tyri0n Thanks for the reply.

According to the Psychologist, I do not have ADHD. The Executive Function testing she did included an “Attention” component. I rated high on that. Also, my responses to the - Brown Attention-Deficit Disorder Scales indicated no ADHD.

As a note, I forgot to mention, the Psychologist asked my wife to independently complete the following questionnaires:
- Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF-A)
- Brown Attention-Deficit Disorder Scales (Brown ADD Scales)
- Western Psychological Services (WPS)

She completed those before reading the answers I provided.

thelostdesign Thanks for the reply.

Looking back, I believe I scored relatively well on the Social Skills test because, during the test, I closed my eyes and focused 100% on the voices I heard (from the DVD). Then, I talked myself through interpreting the emotion and meaning associated with the words + tone I heard. This is not a “real world” scenario. And, this is where I am speculating, my Executive Function “issues” come in.

The Psychologist indicated that I have issues dealing with things that require complex short-term memory. Which would include: listening to what someone is saying and how they are saying it, interpreting that, figuring out how to respond – all very quickly.

And, by the way, in a “real world” situation, I typically look at the other person’s mouth (or other times stare out into space). I am guessing now that I do this because I simply don’t have the memory “bandwidth” for interpreting any more information (aka “social cues”).



I appreciate your thoughts/comments. I think you are dead on. The Psychologist recommended that I focus on “What does Aspergers mean to me and how do I move forward in the world”. Which is, what I believe you are saying.

BTW, as I write more in this thread, I am becoming less and less skeptical about the diagnosis.

Me too. Surprising you don't meet the criteria for either Nonverbal Learning Disorder or ADHD. When I make social mistakes and miss things, it is usually an attention thing. I meet the criteria for NLD--which shares many symptoms with ADHD--and the doctor said some of my tests were "somewhat consistent" with ADHD, but he said he needed more information for an official diagnosis of ADHD.

Question: can Asperger's without ADHD and/or NLD cause attention deficit issues? OP, do you have depressive symptoms (melancholia) or extreme anxiety? these can cause attention issues and social problems as well.

Behind most or even all psychological disorder is unbearable emotional pain, felt (when it even can be felt) physically because the experiencing of pain is a physical experience, whatever the cause. Sorting, grading and categorizing is one obvious defense against feeling thit pain, not to imply there cannot be some other value in identifying a particular psychological disorder, but such an endeavor probably cannot take a person very far, and there will always be someone to take your buck and try to put you in this or that category and even help you shove sh*t under the rug. .

Re attention, if a person does not have it, there is one way to get it: Practice paying attention, and it really pays to pay attention.

According to the Psychologist, the scores (from the combination of WAIS IQ, Wechsler Memory Scale, Executive Function tests) ruled both of these out. Going in, I was pretty confident I did not have ADHD (as it did not seem that I met the diagnostic criteria).



The Psychologist indicated I have an ongoing, underlying, mild depression that gets worse during periods of stress and change bringing on major depression. If I remember correctly, the Psychologist believed that this ongoing, underlying, mild depression was related to Aspergers.

The Psychologist indicated that I will also be diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder (with mixed anxiety and depression).

Tyri0n – After thinking about it a bit more, the reason I am skeptical (or doubtful) is not because of the diagnostic tests performed by the Psychologist. Those seemed quite thorough and professional. Rather, I am wondering if my own biases “tainted” the results. As the diagnosis was partially based upon information I provided including:
- A > 30 page Document that I created outlining a bunch of reasons why I could be diagnosed with Aspergers (or a bunch of other “conditions”)
- The answers I provided in those various Questionnaires

Was the information I provided impacted by the fact that, due to my long-term unemployment situation, I have been feeling more depressed (than usual)? Perhaps. As a note, I wouldn’t classify my state as clinical depression (but definitely something close).

Regarding the > 30 page Document: It most certainly is “biased”. As I tended to focus on those behaviors which substantiated any one of my suspected problems (which included a range of possible conditions including: Aspergers, Extreme Introversion, Shyness, Nonverbal Learning Disorder, Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, Avoidant Personality, Schizoid).

Again, I knew something was up. Because I am so much different than most other people I know (which isn’t a lot). I had (what I remember to be) an unhappy childhood. And, I struggled as an adult, moving from one unfulfilling job to the next trying to achieve someone else’s definition of success (which I have now, thankfully, abandoned).

Regarding the Questionnaires: Would I have responded differently on these questionnaires at different times in my life? Possibly. There was a brief interval of time, in my young 20s, when I self-medicated on a regular (almost daily) basis. But that short period in my life probably does not count.

Anyways, after thinking about it some more (and I just love thinking about things ), I feel my responses are fairly dead on. I mentioned that my wife (who works in the mental health field, but was new to Aspergers) reviewed everything I provided the Psychologist to help ensure the veracity of my responses. Of course, it is quite possible that my wife’s review was impacted, based upon my current behavior (as opposed to the entirety of the time she has known me – for > 25 years).

In any event, writing all this down, has been a very therapeutic process (at least for me ). I feel that I can fully accept the Aspergers diagnosis. Next, I need to be able to respond to the Psychologists challenge, by answering “What does Aspergers mean to me and how do I move forward in the world”.

I would say that the content of the report was less important than the fact that you wrote the report at all.

I'm yet to be diagnosed, but since I joined here I have questioned myself when I see posts and responses about personality disorders and the like, much like you have done on your own. I've suspected the diagnosis for about a year now so I don't question my answers to the questionnaires or if I'm being a hypochondriac (never have been in general). I've tiptoed around the issue with my therapist, but I have resolved to push for scheduling a diagnostic on my next visit.

I found this blog post the other day that pretty much captures the process:
http://aspergersexpert.blogspot.com/201 ... erger.html

I cycled through stages 2-3 through my life until I hit stage 4 last year, and stage 5 mostly when I joined this community, and now I'd say I'm at stage 6 pretty strongly. If my diagnosis comes back false, I think I would give it another try before giving up, depending on how it is answered. Otherwise I guess I'd be happy just identifying with the Aspie condition since nothing else fits.

xMistrox Thanks for the reply.

Thanks for sharing. The blog post (on the seven stages of Aspergers) is quite interesting. Though I would describe some of those phases much differently (as I am a 50 year adult, not the parent of a young child).



I had similar thoughts before my diagnosis. In fact, I provided the Psychologist with a yet another document (entitled My Process of Self Discovery) in which I wrote the following:

"So, a more interesting question is, 'Why do I want to know'. Well, this like everything in my life is complex. If I do have Asperger’s, it will explain a lot of things. And, knowing that my wiring is different, it will help me make better choices (relating with people especially my family, employment wise, etc.) so I can have a more satisfying remainder of my life. As it is, I have been trying to pursue a neurotypical lifestyle. If I am not neurotypical, I should not be doing that. As, it would simply continue to frustrate me.

On the other hand, if I do not have Asperger’s then I am interested in exploring what has caused these Asperger-like symptoms?"

Truth be told…I was a bit nervous going into the evaluation process all the way through the final diagnosis. Wondering if it wasn’t Aspergers, then what? Maybe there’s another stage – Relief – My Search is Over.