Sanity

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He is awful, and totally wrong for me. I'm in a battle with the practice at the moment as well. But I've had not so great experiences of other doctors there too, and I hear other people having problems with GPs so I don't know if I'd end up with the same problems elsewhere. It would be awful going through all that change and then finding out that I bring out another doctor's worst side all over again. I just don't understand the way NTs think, and as doctors are NTs too, they don't understand what I'm trying to say, it's like there this big mismatch in communication. I've had letters with big mistakes in them (my doctor somehow thought I wanted an ADHD test! All because he hadn't listened to me properly) and mistakes going off in referral letters etc. They are rubbish.

They definitely aren't good on anything non-physical ie autism and mental health type stuff as they have no specialist knowledge in it.

Nessa, after reading some of your messages in the few weeks I have been here, you have touched my heart and I have come to like you, though that was not my original instinct in the beginning..

I think you are sane, but you have a personality disorder that under certain conditions of despair and stress could escalate and even temporarily put you over the edge, so it is an act of love and compassion for yourself to make sure that this does not happen..I do think autism is behind some of what you are experiencing but probably not all of it.

As far as trouble in the workplace goes, I had a serious problem a few years back that caused me horrible suffering, and I almost lost my way to make a living, but no question, in my case, my own previous behavior and lack of certain social understanding and social skills at the time brought some of it on myself, though this is no excuse for the way some other people behaved. I wanted to fight these other people, but if I had done so I would have lost, as these people would have banded together and distorted the truth of the situation and told lies, and all of that was out of my control, so ultimately I did have to adjust my own behavior, and luckily the situation eventually resolved, and it ended up being a learning experience for me..Also, I did have help from a spiritual adviser in sorting things out. In any case I was lucky I got through it, and if circumstances had been a little different I may not have, and this is by no means the worse situation I have ever had regarding the behavior of other people....

Thanks for your insight littlebee

I was diagnosed as having paranoid, anxious and avoidant personality disorders after a personality assessment was done on me in 2008, but I was never offered any specific help for these problems so it was effecively as meaningless as the Asperger's diagnosis, for which I received no help either.

I was better off before being labelled with the Aspergers in my opinion. Life wasn't easy for me but I had a good job whereas now I don't think I'd be able to work again.

I only found out I am autistic at age 65, but I avoid like the plague telling people I am that or any of this kind of stuff.. Did a few test runs and saw people's faces when I said the word autistic and that was enough for me. Also, I am self employed as I am a crafts person. so have much more control, and it is wonderful. As far as not being able to ever work again, I do not know how old you are, but life can be very interesting. People change and things come up. I did not get into my present business until I was around 31. I understand you have experienced trauma, but if I may make a suggestion, do not let your thinking get stuck on a certain track. I do not know how it goes in England, but even if you get disability, if there is such a thing, which I assume there is, you can still work under the table, I presume, if you ever want to.

How did you end up getting diagnosed, if you care to share? You say things were going pretty well...then what happened? I do not know about your personality assessment or if it was accurate. These kind of tests in my opinion are kind of nebulous. What does seem evident is that you are deeply hurting, and someone should have reached a hand out to you, and it is unconscionable that someone did not do that. In short, many people are ignorant and they do not care, and that is sad.

I am sorry you have not been able to get help. That is very sad. And I would be angry. Help does not always have to come from therapy. There are spiritual approaches, that kind of thing, or you could try to find your own therapist. Some therapist will take a low income client, and charge much less, and if you find a good one (which admittedly might be kind of hard) maybe you could afford i, though I do not know your situation now...

I was in a good job in IT Support, supervising others on an IT Heldesk, at the lcoal council. i'd already worked for 10 years doing IT helpdesk work myself at another council so this job was a step up in terms of me supervising others. I had some disagreements in a meeting at work and my boss wasn't happy about it and asked me to leave the meeting. I was referred to the occupational health department not long after that, for some kind of anger/stress management advice. The occupational health doctor said I was depressed and not well enough to work. So I was signed off work for ages which made me more depressed. Eventually he said he thought there was something more to my problems than just social anxiety and he referred me to a private psychiatrist for a second opinion. He thought I might have Asperger's syndrome and referred me to his colleague who diagnosed me. This made me lose all my confidence in my ability to supervise others so my employer created a lower grade administration position for me. I was isolated in thsi position as not working with the team I was in before and I didn't last in the job very long as I felt too anxious and lacking in confidence. I'd been put on anti-psychotics by the psychiatrist and these weren't helping either. My employer wouldnt' tell my work colleagues I had Aspergers, they said that was up to me to tell them, so they were all wondering what was up with me but not asking and i felt I was in an untenable position.
I walked out and was put on redeployment and eventually found myself another job as an administrator. I stayed in that until I got made redindant and then took a job in the NHS - health service, doing the IT Helpdesk work I'd been doing previously. This proved too stressful for me though and I walked out after just over a year there.

The Aspergers diagnosis made me less tolerant of people and less inclined to try fitting in as I'd been told I wasn't one of the 'normal' people so what was the point?

I had another admin job after that which I gave up to care for my Dad who has dementia, when my Mum became ill with cancer.
Then after being on benefit for a year or so I decided to try working again; I got a part-time 12 month post as an administrator at a care home - which was my last job - the one I got bullied in and sacked from after disclosing my Aspergers, as mentioned previously. I lasted there 2 months!

So I have gone from having a responsible supervisory job to nothing and not being mentally robust enough or inclined to want to work again. So the diagnosis did me no favours at all as regards being able to maintain my financial independence.

During my last period of unemployment I set up an autistic spectrum support group for adults, which is still going, but I couldn't keep running it as I had major issues with the attendees being very apathetic and annoying. I could do the organising but the people side of it was too hard for me so I handed it over to someone else to run.

I am so sorry about what you have been through. You sound to me like a person who is capable and has a lot to give the world. I am thinking this will probably turn around, as with time many things generally do, though sometimes it has happened for me in ways I could not expect or even conceive of, but when my heart started to open (to myself). it is kind of amazing what the universe has to offer. Just do not lose faith in your own capacity to have pleasure in life and to be happy, which is your birthright.

Thanks. I think it's taken me a long time to come to terms with the Aspergers and then I've had to cope with my Mum dying of cancer in 2010 and my Dad being put into a care home by my brother the same year and falling out with him and most of the rest of the family over it to the extent we don't speak any more. So I forget that all this kind of thing takes it's toll too.

I think you are sane. I agree with what others have said about you in this thread. I can sense you are really stressed out. You sound angry and bitter, but what you say almost always makes sense. You are logical. And you are very honest. You don't seem to pretend to be nice for the sake of pleasing others. I even feel you are saying what I would want to say for me. I'm just not good at putting things into words. So it's refreshing that someone is actually saying those things for me (I know you are doing it for yourself, but you are doing it for me, too). I can understand your hatred of society after being treated horribly by many people. I pretty much feel the same. I am sane and you are sane, too.

I actually don't know the objective criteria for sanity.

Thanks jk1

It's a bit of a joke me being so outspoken - if you'd seen me at school I hardly ever spoke!

I put my over-assertiveness/aggression mainly down to SSRI and SNRI antidepressants, which improved my confidence but also brought out the aggressive side too.

I just find life very hard with respects to which path I'm meant to follow as I have no peer group and no parents any more for guidance and with it being left up to me to decide I take the path of least resistance and do as little as possible as I'm lazy!

We can't all be high achievers though can we?

I figure if people aren't trying to have me locked up in a rubber room, I must be sane enough. I don't think someone who isn't sane is able to gauge their insanity. Others do that for them. So, since no one seems to think I'm insane, strange yes, but not insane, I most likely am sane... I hope.

Nessa238, I do not know if you are already aware of this, but a few years ago the UK government changed the procedures used by doctors. Instead of issuing "sick notes", GPs now have to issue "wellness notes" or "fitness notes", in which the GP describes the nature of the problem/illness and the type of work the patient can do. Hence the two notes you received stating, "Has Asperger's syndrome: can only work in environment where she does not have to interact with public or many other individuals. A quiet environment is required." The following BBC programme discusses these, and other changes.
"The Sick Note. From next year a government-backed scheme will try to help ill people get back to work as quickly as possible. Peter Day finds out what's behind the changes, and why they matter."
Peter Day's World of Business, http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/worldbiz , 11 April 2013.
Audio file: http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/rad ... -2100a.mp3

The idea is that (some) people with illnesses and disabilities can continue to work, at least in certain jobs and given appropriate support. For instance, my job is very structured and repetitive, and requires very little interaction with other people. In this sense, it is a good fit for a person on the autistic spectrum. (Many of my co-workers seem rather strange, and some of them are clearly autistic.) Unfortunately, such jobs are hard to find, and I strongly suspect that my current job will disappear by the end of the decade due to technological advancements (see the articles mentioned in this thread: "The Robots Are Taking Our Jobs", https://www.wrongplanet.net/postt228740.html ).

When you next speak to your GP, I recommend you follow whirlingmind's advice:

Anyway, I hope everything goes okay.

I've been told that no one is 100% sane, because everyone has something that effects how they see the world and can distort views on some subjects. Still, like has been mentioned, I'd say a sane person is capable of reasoning much of the time.

Thanks Logan5

Yes I was aware that the Sick Note has now become the Fit Note, so the GP is obliged to put things in a way to indicate how I could potentially be helped to work. She's not there when many of the people around me are treating me like a) someone simple or b) someone they don't want to know or c) someone they feel it's fine to outright disrespect

ie it's never a level playing field as I do not get treated with the respect shown to the average person in the first place - so I'm having to cope with these attitudes on top of any other problems that might arise in the course of doing the actual job

in other words most people are getting a far easier time of it than myself full stop so it's not a comparison of like for like when people say 'But other people with Aspergers Syndrome successfully hold down jobs' (as a Dynamic Psychotherapist once said to me) - I will think to myself, yes, I bet they have people treating them with a damn sight more respect than I ever get too! I can't mitigate for other people treating me like s**t and I certainly can't use my wonderful social abilities to overcome it all as I've got Asperger's Syndrome! In work, as in life, your face either fits or it doesn't and mine never does.

I've reached the stage where I've developed a pretty strong opinion of other people back the other way and I don't want to be breathing the same air as these people any more - I've had it with not coming up to their pathetic 'standards' - they don't come up to mine so they can all f-k right off!

I understand that I need to convey to the GP that I'm not in a fit mental state to work as my ideological stance will go right over her head, as 99% of anything I say seems to do with most people, whether NT or not.

That attitude is one that really pisses me off big time. Before I had a diagnosis (although it shouldn't have made any difference) when I was getting stressed at having to multi-task parental responsibilities and feeling utterly overwhelmed, my husband said to me "well other mothers handle all that, why can't you?"!

I don't give a damn what other people can manage, this is me, they are not me, and no-one has the right to judge me for what I am unable to handle. GGGRRRR!

Exactly!

Everyone's different and people who sail through life making a big success of everything invariably have all the attributes necessary to do it.