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UDG
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06 May 2013, 10:11 am

There could be a third way. If you can look after yourself, but aren't as great with money. If you lived with (a) friend(s) they could pay the bills and just ask you for money when they do that.



Jamesy
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06 May 2013, 11:05 am

With money i'd be sensible and save up as much as i could afford to. Also say one day my tv breaks in my house i will have too take it too a store for repair which would be incredibly difficult if i do not own a my own car. Financally there are just so many things too pay for and it might be overwhelming for me :( Then again that is societies fault for making things so god damn diffcult all the time. :evil:

I think keeping a job would be a major challenge though because of all the stigma surrounding autism etc.



hanyo
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06 May 2013, 11:23 am

Depending on where you live you may be able to manage without a car. I don't drive and neither does my mother. We walk places, take the bus, and occasionally take cabs.



Jamesy
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06 May 2013, 12:31 pm

hanyo wrote:
Depending on where you live you may be able to manage without a car. I don't drive and neither does my mother. We walk places, take the bus, and occasionally take cabs.



Could i live on my own without a job is the million dollar question? :?



hanyo
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06 May 2013, 12:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Could i live on my own without a job is the million dollar question? :?


If that is the main barrier to living on your own then you would try to get ssi and maybe some kind of housing that goes by your income.



Noetic
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06 May 2013, 1:26 pm

Jamesy wrote:
With money i'd be sensible and save up as much as i could afford to. Also say one day my tv breaks in my house i will have too take it too a store for repair which would be incredibly difficult if i do not own a my own car. Financally there are just so many things too pay for and it might be overwhelming for me :( Then again that is societies fault for making things so god damn diffcult all the time. :evil:

I think keeping a job would be a major challenge though because of all the stigma surrounding autism etc.

A negative attitude and making countless excuses is a much worse obstacle to independence than autism.



Jamesy
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06 May 2013, 1:57 pm

Noetic wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
With money i'd be sensible and save up as much as i could afford to. Also say one day my tv breaks in my house i will have too take it too a store for repair which would be incredibly difficult if i do not own a my own car. Financally there are just so many things too pay for and it might be overwhelming for me :( Then again that is societies fault for making things so god damn diffcult all the time. :evil:

I think keeping a job would be a major challenge though because of all the stigma surrounding autism etc.

A negative attitude and making countless excuses is a much worse obstacle to independence than autism.







Someone on this site told me the list of things i have to do to keep a house running. Hygeine, food, and taking out the trash is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to running a house. You need a hell of a lot money to pay all the expenses.



OliveOilMom
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06 May 2013, 2:11 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Noetic wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
With money i'd be sensible and save up as much as i could afford to. Also say one day my tv breaks in my house i will have too take it too a store for repair which would be incredibly difficult if i do not own a my own car. Financally there are just so many things too pay for and it might be overwhelming for me :( Then again that is societies fault for making things so god damn diffcult all the time. :evil:

I think keeping a job would be a major challenge though because of all the stigma surrounding autism etc.

A negative attitude and making countless excuses is a much worse obstacle to independence than autism.







Someone on this site told me the list of things i have to do to keep a house running. Hygeine, food, and taking out the trash is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to running a house. You need a hell of a lot money to pay all the expenses.


Now there is a difference between renting and buying/owning, at least here in the US. There are lots of places where you just pay rent and utilities and the owner pays for maintenance and upkeep. There are even apartments where you pay rent that has the utilities included so rent is all you pay. I would honestly try to find something like that first. Maybe while your parents are still around, find some job somewhere and save your money, make sure your job is secure, and then find a place with utilities included and move to it. It may take about a year to get to where you want to be financially before you can do that but it's a worthwhile goal. I do think you can do it. I'm afraid you don't give yourself enough credit because I think you can do more than you think you can.

I know that here there are also places with utilities and that are furnished too. Of course they aren't all that nice but it's a place to start out.

I remember you mentioning something about a job centre, and it's good you go there but are you applying for any other jobs too? I don't know how it works in the UK, so I may have it wrong but are there jobs listed in the paper that you can go see about, in addition to the ones the job centre sends you to? I think the more you look the more of a chance you have to find something.

I may seem that I'm getting on to you sometimes but I'm not. I think you seem more capable than you think you are and I don't want to see you sell yourself short and miss out on opportunities because of that. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't be offering any suggestions like that. And remember too that even if you don't succeed the first time that doesn't mean you won't on the second or third try.


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Panddora
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06 May 2013, 2:25 pm

In England people who need support and are young like you do not end up in residential homes. You can live in your own home with the support you need provided following an assessment from your local council. You could live independently in a supported tenancy where the worrying things are taken care of. Residential homes are only for people with very high care needs.



Jamesy
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06 May 2013, 2:33 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Noetic wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
With money i'd be sensible and save up as much as i could afford to. Also say one day my tv breaks in my house i will have too take it too a store for repair which would be incredibly difficult if i do not own a my own car. Financally there are just so many things too pay for and it might be overwhelming for me :( Then again that is societies fault for making things so god damn diffcult all the time. :evil:

I think keeping a job would be a major challenge though because of all the stigma surrounding autism etc.

A negative attitude and making countless excuses is a much worse obstacle to independence than autism.







Someone on this site told me the list of things i have to do to keep a house running. Hygeine, food, and taking out the trash is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to running a house. You need a hell of a lot money to pay all the expenses.


Now there is a difference between renting and buying/owning, at least here in the US. There are lots of places where you just pay rent and utilities and the owner pays for maintenance and upkeep. There are even apartments where you pay rent that has the utilities included so rent is all you pay. I would honestly try to find something like that first. Maybe while your parents are still around, find some job somewhere and save your money, make sure your job is secure, and then find a place with utilities included and move to it. It may take about a year to get to where you want to be financially before you can do that but it's a worthwhile goal. I do think you can do it. I'm afraid you don't give yourself enough credit because I think you can do more than you think you can.

I know that here there are also places with utilities and that are furnished too. Of course they aren't all that nice but it's a place to start out.

I remember you mentioning something about a job centre, and it's good you go there but are you applying for any other jobs too? I don't know how it works in the UK, so I may have it wrong but are there jobs listed in the paper that you can go see about, in addition to the ones the job centre sends you to? I think the more you look the more of a chance you have to find something.

I may seem that I'm getting on to you sometimes but I'm not. I think you seem more capable than you think you are and I don't want to see you sell yourself short and miss out on opportunities because of that. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't be offering any suggestions like that. And remember too that even if you don't succeed the first time that doesn't mean you won't on the second or third try.





Thank you :)



purplefeet
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06 May 2013, 2:44 pm

Are you in the UK? Do you currently have a social worker?

I would say that unless you are currently well known to social services then it is doubtful you would be put into a care home. As many posters have mentioned they are for people with very complex needs.

I did work in a supported living environment (support for daily tasks in a shared house, but no 24 hour care) and the adults there had learning disabilities that meant many of them could not count or use a telephone/communicate with strangers at all (and barely with staff). They each received a maximum of 23 hours support per week, and 7 of those were for cooking. The rest of the time they were left to their own devices, though many of them did attend a local day centre where more support was offered.

Some people require support for some areas of life (budgeting and paying bills, etc) and there is a system called direct payments where you can choose a support worker/personal assistant to help you do the things you want. This may include things such as accessing the community/gym/holidays, etc. As you can see there are many options but only accessible through social services unless you are very wealthy. They will assess you and support you to find the right kind of help.

If you are a young adult it may be worthwhile looking onto this kind of thing now as it is part of growing up to be as independent as possible. And don't make the mistake of thinking that pretty much everyone isn't worried about having to manage life on their own. I don't know of your particular barriers but if possible it would be useful for you to take more of a role in these things with your parents' support? The more practice you get the better.



Panddora
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06 May 2013, 4:53 pm

Purplefeet is correct. You can ask your local council for an assessment of your needs. They have to do this in England. They do not have to provide you with a service but because of the Autism Act and Strategy they should look at providing support to work towards independence. Direct Payments and personal budgets are a possibility but you may have to ask for this because councils are really cutting back at the moment and not always being fair. You also may be assessed by a multidisciplinary mental health team as Asperger's and autism fall between different services. Please do not be afraid of becoming independent. Accept support, keep things simple, do one thing at a time and keep posting here for advice.