physical fights, do you prefer to ditch the blah ?

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I don't fight.

I may defend myself, but that's different.

I don't see why there should be social rules for fighting. If you have to deal with degenerate uncivilized apes that must engage in that kind of behavior it's basically law of the jungle anyways. Might as well skip the silly posturing and public displays. If your nerves are frayed and you feel intimidated in front of others they have the advantage. Better to just get away. Deal with them later in a private setting on your own terms and do whatever it takes to win. By whatever it takes I mean fight dirty and don't be afraid to hurt them.

Its not in my best intrest to fight either, between my weak strengh, lack of co-ordination and lack of knowage on who to do it. I know from elementry school I am easy to beat up and will lose to anyone. For that and other reasons I always try to settle conflicts diplomaticly or even better just look out for and avoid conflicts all together.

Normally I shorten the blah, by simply acting. So if someones treats me with beating I agree and ask where. Until now, every confrontation ended with it, because people normally only want to do blah and posing. Around my area, physical conflicts are very rare, so most people avoid them, because its nothing that happens in "their world" and act pretty shocked when confronted with a physical conflict. I was used to get beaten from my father, when I was younger, as bad as it is, it takes away the fear of physical conflicts, because for others its something that dont really happen and when it happens they are shocked, while if you are used to it you know that bruises hurt but vanish and lacerations heal, and that you dont die from taking a hit. When I became a teenager I confronted my father, that I will no longer obey his beatings, so he can beat me whatever he wants or brake my bones, but will acchieve nothing more any longer then going to jail and I meant it exatly that way. This goes for everyone else as well, so I know that there are lots of people out there, that are able to knock me down, so I am not horrible strong or whatever, but I rather let myself get beaten down, then act in a way somebody wants, only because he treats me with beating. Until now, everyone that treatened me with beating, stopped doing so when I simply said: "Ok, where?" People that treaten others with physical beating are mostly simply cowards and bastards that are too dumb to get rid of their aggression in non conflictways and so seek weaker ones, where they can dump their aggressions in verbal or physical way. If you stand up to them, most of them step back because they normally dont seek real conflicts, but simply a victim they can treat.

Actually, I'm rather pathetic at 'blah'. I can't even harm other people verbally when they insulted me / deserve it (like the driver who almost got me into hospital when I was cycling). Nothing snappy comes into my mind, other than the most vulgar and common words and curses.

I was hit twice in my adulthood, didn't hit back. Last time I fought was in elementary school, but then I had a lot fight.

exactly thats what you learn when you are willing to just get into it and see what happens. Most times the reason somebody picks on a "nerd" is not for a real cool headed man to man confrontation. Various reasons why they are not, most of these they back out when they see you are up for that. if they could deal with a real man to man they would be out looking for challenging targets.

People looking for fights are no different than rapist. Their looking for a potential victim to raise their self esteem, if you don't provide yourself as a victim they'll usually back off. Morbid but exceptionally true.

Dissonant serenity can really unnerve someone; the more aggressive they get, the more relaxed you seem. If the person has an ounce of street smarts or survival instinct, their lizard brain will be screaming at them that it's getting serious danger signals and should back off; if you give them the opportunity to back down without losing too much face, they usually will. Of course, being able to back up that casual approach to danger is helpful as well.

dissonant serenity, it sounds interesting but i never heard of it. an aspie invention.. sound like the basis for a new self defence method. I have seen this in practise,if you ever come across some tough east europeans. the more you try to raise the stakes the more they laugh and joke with you.. they are at ease as they already trained in taking hits from their Saturday afternoon hobby bare knuckle boxing each other, before preparing to emigrate into countries where they will for sure get picked on. jeez some of these guys are nuts. they even know how to stay cool when injected with poison (latest method for settling money owed disputes here)

I came across the term on TV Tropes, where they use it to describe a writing technique that emphasizes how bad ass a character is by showing them acting casually while everyone else is freaking out; think Colonel Kilgore strutting across the battlefield in Apocalypse Now. The entire idea is that by not ignoring a threat but by acting as if it doesn't concern you in the slightest, you send a very strong signal that you are so dangerous that the person making the threats doesn't even merit a change in your mood. Someone sizing you up for a crime will register that you are not a good victim and move on to easier pickings, while someone just looking for a fight doesn't get the satisfaction of an escalating response, and if they're not too far gone, their subconscious will get the message loud and clear.
For me personally, I'm carrying guns and knives at all times, plus Filipino martial arts training if I somehow manage to jam or break multiple weapons; when I look at someone trying to pick a fight, what I'm putting in my eyes is "you're still alive because I'm choosing to allow it", and that's a scary ass thing to see looking at you. Pair that look with a laugh and a smile that says "I wouldn't lose any sleep over it", and all but the most brain dead a**holes suddenly find that they have pressing business elsewhere. I'm not at all intimidating looking either, so people are often taken by surprise when I suddenly put on the predatory body language and back someone down, or on one memorable occasion, a whole bunch of someones.
That's one advantage to having difficulty with body language, because it doesn't come naturally, I've had to study it, which means that I have a better understanding of it than someone for whom it just came to naturally, which allows me greater control over what I personally project. Useful trick.

All I know is that I've made it 46 years without ever getting into a physical fight, and I grew up in Los Angeles and attended public schools. Many disagreements but never a fight. I attribute it to others being afraid of me because of the high functioning autism, and they can't read me. Maybe they think I'd do something beyond just to throw a punch... "fear of the unknown". I don't think it's because of my physical size, as I was targeted by bullies through the years just because I'm built like a cage fighter, and it would make bullies look good to get me on the run.

I don't think physical fights are necessary, so I don't consider them an option in any disagreement. If I had to defend myself physically, I would do so, but not before discussing the cause rationally as best possible. I guess that one of the benefits of autism, is that fear is not visible from the outside the same way it is from NTs. If challenged, I might just stand there and listen to the opponent, and appear completely un-phased by the challenge, I guess. So that is a curve ball for the opponent, and they don't know what to do at that point.

If someone were to threaten me with a weapon, and they have in the past, I just act nonchalant and make an admiring observation of the weapon, or even offer to buy it because I am a gun collector. That REALLY confuses the hell out of them! In my case it was not a gun; it was a baseball bat held by a small gang of 18 or 19 year olds when I was 13. The one raised the bat, and I didn't run, and didn't flinch. Just by acting as I did, they left.

Charles

and being murdered is only for victims.


cliches may run the world, but they don't make it a better place.

I am very passive-aggressive in the pre-fight skirmish, which usually causes them to lose composure and make a go at me, so I can not only knock the crap out of 'em, I can call it self-defense. Observers and authorities have often wondered aloud, "what could have made that person so freakin' mad at you?"

I haven't fought since middle school, but the last time I did, I didn't do that posturing stuff, I just started throwing. The guy wanted to go, so I met his challenge. I don't play around (it sent a message).

Can someone please explain the OP's question to me?

The 'blah' is what usually causes the fight in the first place.

Words get exchanged- anger rises- and it escalates to physicality.


So you wouldnt have a fight without the parties pissing each other off with words in the first place.

Maybe that's how it is with adult fights. I wouldn't have much idea since I don't have much experience. I only recall in school it had nothing to do with real anger. It was just douchebag bullies who liked to pick fights and would act threatening for no particular reason. I never fought back by playing their stupid word games which I just couldn't do.