Trouble describing yourself and chatting about your own life

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This is interesting.

I could say what my strengths and weaknesses are, and I could say what things other people have accused me of being like but I would find it hard to say how other people would perceive me. I don't know if that's the same thing. In some ways I don't want other people to think bad of me and do worry how things will look to others, but in other ways I'm not interested in how they think of feel about me. It's more how they react to me that matters because of bad experiences I've had before, that is something that directly impacts me.

...also, I don't know if this is connected, but if someone asks me questions about myself I feel intensely uncomfortable and give the shortest answers possible, one-word ones if possible or change the subject so that they will talk about other things.

I could talk about what I know, or an experience which annoyed me etc. but I hate personal questions and would probably walk off if someone didn't get the hint and kept questioning me.

I also have trouble as I feel I probably bore people and sometimes they would just interrupt and tell about themselves so I just give short answers.

I can chat about my life and about what happens to me, but I can't describe myself well.
I've always thought that this is because my personality is hard to describe.

The only things I really know about my personality are that I am cold, defiant, lazy, short-tempered, oppositive, impulsive and spiteful, and I know because people have told me that I am like that (exept for the fact I am short-tempered and impulsive-I alredy knew it even without people telling it to me).
Another thing I know quite well about myself is that I am self-confident most of the times, and people have told me that I'm arrogant because of that.

When psychiatrists in the past have asked me what I was like, I never knew how to reply.

But once a psychiatrist told me some things she thought about me and I thought they weren't accurate:
-she told me that, even if I looked tough on the outside, I was actually very soft and fragile on the inside- I think this is not true, and that I am tough on the inside just as much as I am on the outside
-she told me that I looked self-confident, almost arrogant, only on the outside, because according to her I actually had a low-self esteem- again, I don't think this is true.

So, even though I can't describe myself, I think I know something about myself, even if few things.

I think this is a general issue for autistics.

My guess is many of us don't particularly enjoy being center of attention - which also includes talking about yourself. A tendency to rather "hide away and avoid confrontation/conflict".

This is again the tendency to view details instead of the "big picture". People usually view themselves in the big picture (social position etc.), we view ourselves in details. It's difficult to say who you are if you don't view yourself in the "big picture".

I've been told I have good self-awareness/ insight except that I focus too much on the negatives. If I were to describe my personality I'd use all negatives (rigid, stubborn, socially awkward and inept, loud, obnoxious, argumentative ect). I can chat about my life in a way- for example if I'm having a conversation with someone about theory of mind (like in the theory of mind thread here but same thing IRL) I can give examples of when I've had good TOM and when I've displayed a lack of it. I do that a lot and I can go on and on about it too. When I;'m at the therapist and asked "how was your week" or something I have a really hard time answering it. That's just because it's such a broad question though, I don't know what to talk about , what to focus on. If I were asked a specific question about myself or my week or about myself (like to describe my problems) I think I could answer it well.

I might need more experience in this sort of thing to say for sure. As it is, it seems like I can describe aspects of me that I've learned about over time (especially interests), but it's hard to describe 'me' in sort of a... core way. I can't seem to sum myself up with one word without feeling like I'm leaving out so much. I hate the 'if you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?' type of questions. (Partly because I have no idea how to relate to a fruit. Animals are easier to relate to, and even then it's hard to pick one.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm overall unsure about personal qualities?

Someone asked me what I did today and I could only manage to say that I did not much. Same reply every time.