StarTrekker wrote:
littlebee wrote:
Am I missing something here? In my world-- never eat anything that makes you gag....and I thought this was the same for everybody, so what am I not understanding? It is interesting that you conquered your gag reflex in the sense of developing will, and maybe that you wanted to please this kind person, but I am not sure it is emotionally or physically healthy for you to do that in this instance....
It's a one-off instance designed to make somebody feel good. If she had refused, it would have hurt Grandma's feelings, and that was something she wanted to avoid. She made a big sacrifice in order to make her hostess feel appreciated and like her hard work cooking was worth the effort. If she had just said something along the lines of, "I don't eat sausage, it makes me sick," it wouldn't have been very nice, because, whether she meant it that way or not, she would be snubbing someone else's hard work, acting unappreciative, and sounding as if she were saying that Grandma's cooking made her sick, all of which are undesirable outcomes. From a physical perspective, you're right, it's probably not a good idea to continually eat things that your body literally cannot keep down, but from a social perspective, she did the right thing, even though it was extremely difficult for her. Hopefully there won't be any more sausage on the menu for the remainder of your visit LtPinkCoupe!
I understand all of this. It was done with an altruistic motivation and that is something to be proud of. The reason I asked is I was not sure if there was something I do not know about autism and gagging reflex, such as perhaps the gagging is a form of obsessive compulsion that needs to be fought against, Since this seems not to be the case, then the comment I would like to make to the young person who wrote that is that it is also possible to simply accept yourself and that you do not like a certain food and explain this to a hostess. So it is something about self acceptance. You do not have to eat all food that is given to you, even if not eating something may hurt someone's feelings a little. Out of this self acceptance a love can grow which can touch many people, and it is possible to reject a certain food without rejecting the person who made it and without forcing oneself to eat something which makes oneself gag. It is okay that you ate it: this is not a criticism, but you just do not necessarily have to do it, and there can still be a great love and the expression of such a love and maybe even a greater expression. Of course it all depends on a particular situation and what it may mean to you.
Love is not quite so black and white, though sometimes it can be. Another instance I can think of is if a person is mountain climbing in a very strange country and there is a blizzard and some mountain people invite you into their hut as you need refuge, and they offer you disgusting food---then you might want to eat it, but still, you would not necessarily have to---it would depend....
The main point about eating the sausage is that you wanted to, even if you did gag a little, so this changed the experience, and that is quite interesting. If you did not want to and someone physically forced you to, then you would surely have gagged much more. It is fascinating how intent can change things, especially if it is connection to love and gratitude which you obviously felt toward this good woman. I am glad you wrote and shared this experience.
28 Jun 2013, 2:02 am
