Death Sentenced By A Label

Post Reply New Topic

It's generaly true, that the more you react within any given situation, the more people will poke at you to get that reaction.

Taunts and put downs fall within this category.

Also understand that school children are children. They don't have much self control, they don't understand equality, they don't care about other human beeings. If they poke you with a stick and you squawk, then they'll keep poking you with sticks just to get more squawks from you.

Whatever you went through at school, was because children are base creatures, acting only on self interest with little regard to anyone else, or consequences.

School does not represent life. Though it sure seems like that while you're living it.

With enough corrage and determination, you can overcome the hurts from the past and make something of your future. It's a hell of a tough ride, but it can be done.

Hope you succeed.

Those are legitimate worries, sure enough, but that's all they should be, not convictions!

One cliche that's spot on, is that "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got". Exponents of PMA can be a pain in the arse, but there are a few valid points in amongst the self-delusion.

You could extrapolate this to "If you keep thinking what you've always thought, you'll keep finding what you've always found"

I've often been caught in negative downward spirals, and granted, getting out of them isn't always easy. Ignore what you think the world thinks, and concentrate on what you know - you're able, intelligent, and presentable. Start basing your approach on that instead. Concentrate on the solution, rather than the problem, etc. etc.

Being flirted with is GOOD, btw. If someone says something nice about you and your instinct is to contradict, well then, you have self esteem issues. But we, and you, know that already. Don't reject a compliment because you hate yourself, accept it as evidence that you may be wrong to do so.

I'm going through a tough time at the moment, skating the edges of yet another burnout, whilst being cognitively aware of what's happening for the first time. I'm starting to realise my limitations and to try & figure out a plan that means I can make it work FOR me rather than fight against it - trying to work smart rather than hard, in other words. My finances are a mess, my house is a tip and my body hates me. I've nothing, and I'm nobody but I'm also my own best asset and friend. Smelling flowers and appreciating sunsets don't do anything of practical value for my various problems, but I feel better for having done these things. And that is what matters!

All I can do is keep trying. I can inform the ignorant, I can ignore (with a little effort) the detractors, and I can wallow in self pity if I want to - and sometimes do - but every small achievement is still an achievement, no matter how insignificant. I'm over 40 but recognise possibilities I couldn't in my 20s.

Carpe-ing that Diem yet?

Divert the Neg energy into positivity and, you know, all that other hairy fairy hogwash. Just reframe it for yourself in terms you can stomach - that's all anyone else does!

Note that advice to "ignore them and they'll go away" and "they just want a reaction" often does not work in real life. Sometimes people target you for reasons a bit more substantial than "I want to tease this person just for fun."

I couldn't even finish reading your post it brought up so many bad memory's as I went through practically all the same things

This can happen with any label. When you have a disability, you tend to get treated different. Even my own mother agrees it is unfair. As a kid I remember it was okay for other kids to break rules and they didn't apply to them and anything they did it was ignored but whenever I did it, it was made a big deal and not ignored and always had to be the one punished. It followed me to high school. Kids would do things and when I would do something silly, other kids would say I did it when a teacher would ask. I was also picked on and teased and my elementary school principal thought I had to toughen up and one of the staff in the school tried to put me in some classroom and the other staff wanted me in a behavior class. I was also stuck in a special ed classroom full time when I was six and seven because of my speech delay. In high school I had to fight to take drama, fight to take driver's ed, because my teachers were trying to hold me back and people tend to underestimate me. Then they go to over estimating me there is no between for people. I felt I have been treated like a label at times in my life. But I was lucky I had parents who cared and kept me from going to a behavior class and y whole family treats me like normal.