Problems with greetings

Page 2 of 3 [ 33 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

themrjason
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 16 Jun 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 29
Location: Earth

01 Jul 2013, 4:00 pm

I also notice if I am walking and passing someone, if they initiate the greeting I will just mouth the reply without saying it or just say it so soft the other person can't hear it. I usually get a weird looks when I do that.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 150 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Popsicle
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 May 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,574

01 Jul 2013, 4:03 pm

A shrug and "eh" can work for just about any situation. You can add a little smile if you want to seem more pleasant with it.

alecazam3567
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 238

01 Jul 2013, 5:36 pm

The other morning, a teacher was walking down the hall and I already had in my head "Hey, good morning," but when he got there he said "How are you?" and I still ended up saying, "Hey, good morning!" and he just gave me a strange look."
Situations like that seem to happen regularly

apequake
Raven
Raven

Joined: 24 Jun 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: Virginia

01 Jul 2013, 6:31 pm

If the person, I am greeting has multiple syllables in his/her name, I tend to mouth or mumble inaudibly the last syllable. These are people I know well. I just noticed doing that a couple months ago, but I've been probably doing it for years. Often times it happens when I start louder than I anticipated, but not every time.

IdleHands
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 20 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 177

01 Jul 2013, 11:00 pm

Alecazam-do you work in a school?

l0st0ne
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Jun 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 35

02 Jul 2013, 8:05 pm

I used to not say hi to people because i found it very anxiety filled especially if the person just sort of half smiles or doesn't say anything, i just stopped thinking about it though i don't have anyone to say it to atm as i don't have a job/not in college so i just say it to people in shops and don't care if they don't say it back i just think that they're rude.

thegreataturn
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 56

02 Jul 2013, 8:28 pm

I tend to go over the top a little in my greetings if I am in a very good mood " good day to you fine sir , and how are you on this most glorious of days" I think it comes from watching A Christmas Carol a million times when growing up , it just seems to be the most natural way of doing it . Sadly the initial greeting is all I can do , things go decidedly down hill if they want anything more from me .

Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

03 Jul 2013, 2:35 am

I have a hard time saying hi to people. It has more to do with timing and the fact the words cant come out of my mouth. I dont know when and I seem to miss things a lot. I dont have a problem with the "how are you". I had learned it was more of an acknowledgement or an ice breaker. I just say "fine" or mention something relevant and thats it.

a6548321
Butterfly

Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 9

14 Feb 2014, 10:58 am

I'm trying to work out the algorithm.

Code:

function WhatToSay(
    time, // time of day
    already-met, //already met this person today
    location, //work | street | apartment building
    theysay, //in case they say greeting first
    other-person
)
{
   if(theysay.EndsWith("?"))
      return "thanks, " + theysay;
   else if(theysay.NotEmpty())
      return theysay;

    if( already-met == false && location != street)
    {
        if (time < 10am)
             return "good morning";
        else
             if(location == work && me.rank < other-person.rank)
                 return "Hello";
            else
                 return "Hi";

    }
} 

Marky9
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,625
Location: USA

14 Feb 2014, 11:14 am

About 4 times out of 5, my chance encounters with aquaintances (like while shopping or something) go almost exactly like this....

Person 1: "Hi, how are you?"

Person 2: "Fine thanks. And you?"

Person 1: "Fine. Good to see you!"

Person 2: "Likewise! Have a good day!"

Person 1: "Thanks, you too!"

(Both keep shopping or walking.)

This works well for me. The constant smileys are intentional - they are an integral part of the exchange.

_________________
"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

14 Feb 2014, 3:37 pm

Marky9 wrote:

About 4 times out of 5, my chance encounters with aquaintances (like while shopping or something) go almost exactly like this....

Person 1: "Hi, how are you?"

Person 2: "Fine thanks. And you?"

Person 1: "Fine. Good to see you!"

Person 2: "Likewise! Have a good day!"

Person 1: "Thanks, you too!"

(Both keep shopping or walking.)

This works well for me. The constant smileys are intentional - they are an integral part of the exchange.

The acquaintances will like you better if you make it a point to remember [and mention to them next time] something they incidentally might have said about themselves at the time or something they were working on, as long as it was not more than a few weeks' interruption in you being together. just a thought

Bodyles
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Aug 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 808
Location: Southern California

14 Feb 2014, 4:42 pm

For years, when I was younger, I'd reply to "What's up?" with "The ceiling." or "The sky."
Now I just say '''sup" or "not much".

I used to have issues with greetings, but I've learned my own repitoire of responses depending on the person, the greeting, and the situation.

For instance "How's it going?" defaults to "Pretty good, yourself?" or "Alright, and you?" but might get a more honest answer if it's more than a passing greeting, in which case the response is contingent on how it's actually going, followed by a short explaination which I've usually prepared in advance.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

14 Feb 2014, 4:43 pm

Bodyles wrote:

my stock reply, is either "surviving, and you?" or "SSDD, how 'bout yourself?"

Bodyles
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Aug 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 808
Location: Southern California

14 Feb 2014, 4:51 pm

auntblabby wrote:

Bodyles wrote:

my stock reply, is either "surviving, and you?" or "SSDD, how 'bout yourself?"

SSDD? What's that?
My other default replay to that it "It's going."
However that's usually reserved for times when I can't honestly say "Alright".
People usually appreciate what I'm getting at.

I've been told by NTs that you're suppose to respond positively at all times, no matter what, but I can't really bring myself to do that if I don't mean it.

Basso53
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jan 2014
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 619
Location: Massachusetts USA

14 Feb 2014, 4:54 pm

SSDD = Same S***, Different Day. :wink:

_________________
AQ 34
Your Aspie score: 104 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 116 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

14 Feb 2014, 4:54 pm

Bodyles wrote:

SSDD? What's that?

Same $#!+ Different Day

Bodyles wrote:

I've been told by NTs that you're suppose to respond positively at all times, no matter what, but I can't really bring myself to do that if I don't mean it.

I feel the same way.

Page 2 of 3 [ 33 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

Problems with greetings Post Reply New Topic

Problems with greetings