How do you view yourself?

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A normal (the others are weird, not me lol) person having a good time on a very weird planet. I kinda like it here though.

I think there's a very broad social contract, particularly in western countries, that it's always best to edge out whatever your ego's telling you to do and act 100% selflessly. Of course, this is impossible when you're trying to compare favorably to everyone else, so I think, as autistics, we're obligated not to worry about it. Our lives plunge off the deep end of crazy when we worry about it. There's a significant chance nobody's invented what we all need to grasp at what an ego actually is. Either we're the most or least self-centered people there are, but there's nothing but time left for questions when you're dealing in absolutes.

A man who is trying to get out of his shady past.

I'm definitely more educated than most people, and I know most people consider me 'nice, but wierd'. They consider me the type of person who will say nothing most of the night, then talk about something nerdy for one hour straight. I've learned not to do that, but I used to.

And yes, I too am excluded and ignored in virtually every social setting. I've been informed that getting attention requires putting on a certain type of act and body language, and is dependent on timing. All things with which I can not compete with NTs on.

As for people judging me in public, I've made peace with the fact that some do judge me, the majority however just don't give a crap, they are self-concerned and not thinking of me. And after getting to know a lot of people (through the help of friends) I can't say I would be bothered anymore by judgement. Most of the people judging me (and anyone else) really aren't that great themselves.

As for getting good at stuff, I can say that dedicating myself to improving a difficult skill in my spare time has caused me to think less of other people and my social position, and more on what I enjoy. The result of course is better moods and more confidence.

Temple Grandin said something to the effect of 'With autism, you sell your work, instead of your personality'.

I should play into the thread's original topic:

I for one think I'd be pretty damn hard to kill. Between absolutely all the hallmarks of growing up with Aspergers (or whatever you'd like to call it), spending all my spare time in the rocky mountains and being a not-too-shabby hacker, I'm living quite simply, if not always comfortably, with the knowledge of self that speaks to how many of society's mistakes I've averted myself from. There isn't a whole lot of subject matter I haven't run into in my relatively short life, and I inherently seek the rest.

I don't have an answer to this question. I'm am pretty sure that I don't have low self esteem, but, i'm not entirely sure I completely understand the concept of self esteem. I just am. I don't know any other way to be,. I do sometimes get angry that I exist, though. I mean if I had a choice in the matter I would never have selected a sentient species to be. I don;t value intelligence and think it is more a destructive force upon the balance of the ecosystem than a help in any particular way,. I guess I don't like my own species as a whole, but in terms of the individual 'me' in that equation, i have no particular opinion.