How many aspies here want children/family?

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If no one reproduced, we would not be here, you would not be here. As much as humanity is killing themselves, their are still good people out their, I myself included. I reproduced because I knew I had something to offer. I was born to be a mother ever since I was a kid. I connect with children on a level most adults do not understand, I became a teacher for that reason as well. I was a little selfish, as I wanted a bond that would be hard to break. As I do not communicate well with adults and I tend to push people away in the end, it is different with my children. They need me and them needing me, gives me a reason to live. My life was hell, I was a lonely child out of 3 siblings and no one understood me. My children will never have to deal with that because I will always be here for them and I will teach them how to survive and how to be a good person. My son has AS and my daughter is getting tested for cerebral palsy. I would never love either of them less because they didnt "look" beautiful or because they had a disability. I am not married, it is a waste of time and money but their are many people out their who live together forever because they truly love one another. I personally get bored of my partners to quick as you stated, I do love my childrens father but it is hard to keep it going when it is so exhausting to keep the other person happy. My children are another story though. Children really dont coast that much. The only difference now, is that we spend money on diapers and formula rather than junk for ourselves that we would eventually throw away or forget about anyway. So now their is a purpose for our money. I love that my children give me a purpose. People tell me I am a one of a kind mother. I allow my children to speak, but I do not allow them to disrespect. They know their boundries and I teach them to be kind. I give them each one on one attention and family time as well. They are getting the most out of life and I am proud to be able to guide them.

It hurts to think you feel so poorly toward humanity and including yourself. No, not everyone can love, not everyone can live with others, but purpose or no purpose, its at least a nice chance to see what we can do with ourselves.

p.s- I do not think most parents can tell when their child is ugly to be honest, I have personally seen some down right ugly kids be treated like kings and queens and put on pedastools by their parents. Only coldhearted monsters treat their children differently if they notice they are ugly.

To be honest, it was really hard. My children were good sleepers but when they went off schedule, and had a random late night cry, I would have meltdowns, but that is when my partner came in and took over for me. The hardest thing dealing with children and having AS is when they get off schedule, and children tend to do that often. Especially babies. BUT, it is worth it.

I wrote that hurried and I realize it might come off as offensive to people who already have children. I feel everything related to mating or having a partner is driven by evolutionary hardwired principles. I feel as if nature I tricking me and encouraging me into reproducing and telling me I need a partner. Well you know what nature? Screw you.

~forever alone without tears

In truth, what makes you most happy? if it be children, then its your life to fulfill, never mind what the world wants or your fears of it. its up to the child how to handle what comes next, as it was for us. its only our job to help them understand it and prepare for it, for what would make them the most happy with what they have and can do with it, and try to help them understand how we think it could be made better, hoping our wisdom can help task them into a better world tomorrow for their own sakes. how can we expect them to make their own lives happy, when all they see is our own sacrifice for them, are we happy?

If you do want child but fear it, realize, its their tomorrow to decide what is best, not ours, were just their guides...

No worries, I do not get offended, and I hate people who do. You were giving your opinion and everyone has a right to do that. At least you can be happy being alone. It is hard to not want to rely on someone else, though sometimes, it does have a nice ring too it lol.

I don't understand this bit, can you explain?
I know what the phrase means as I have been told but I do not know what it means in this context.

I had always wanted a family kids, like it was part of my idea of how my life would be for as long as i can remember. unfortunately this idea didnt give any indication as for how to achieve this. I am 28 no and have everything else in my life sorted out but i cant get the hang of women or dating so lately i've been putting my energy into accepting that i will quite likely always be alone and trying to be okay with that.

Maybe one day i'll meet a nice girl who actually says what she means and i'll get to have childNode[0] and childNode[1]

Sorry, it popped into my head and sounded like a good fit lol. I just ment it sounds like a good idea to have someone around that you can always rely on. I am not good with talking like that, as I just learn from what I hear and I think I heard it on a show recently cause I have been using it lately. I hope I cleared it up a bit for you. If not I think I just used it wrong in this sentence.

But, isn't that how some people end up with kids at a young age but aren't ready to take care of them, and are in financial or emotional situations that will undoubtedly make thing worse?

That's probably true, though the sad thing is most people are in financial situations these days, mostly from economy. I'm not defending the idea of having kids young, but sadly we live in a crappy economic time, whenever anyone chooses to have kids now, it'll be under monetary strain, so I'm not sure using it as an example of an unstable situation makes a lot of sense anymore.

I feel that if you personally are ready, have a partner and a decent place to live, waiting for everything else to fall into place is a waste of time because nothing will ever be "ready" enough for a child. So I see it as having the partner and the house. The world sucks for families right now and everyone struggles. As long as you think you can handle the struggles, why wait till your "life" is ready, just go for it when YOU are.

I dont see that many pros in getting kids young.

- Getting kids young, means getting them with a partner you hardly know now. I think you should at least wait for that honeymoon feelings to be gone, and being able to rationally judge your partner, before creating kids. Simply for giving that kids better odds to live in an happy relationship with their parents.

-Then kids needs time. If you actually very young, you wont have managed yet to afford a place for living, having some ressources for emergeny, healthcare, ...

- As an young adult, you are as well a bit more "moody". So you normally have a higher grade of activity, which can be of an benefit, but normally thats as well linked with being more instinctive and spontanous.

-And the biggest argument: If you are young parents, chances are high, that the grandparents are still working as well. So noone to call if the kid is actually sick, and cant go into kindergarten or whatever. Noone that might babysit them for you once a week, so you can focus on your partner and relationship... Having grandparents, that are already in rent and available, is in my oppinion a big pro.

I am aware, that a toddlers need will be causing much stress, but my partner and I have because of that finished everything else before it (house building, ...), and safed some ressources. So actually, if everything goes according to plan, I will be able to stay at home for two years and then be able to work part-time. Hope that this will match up for the stress the little one will cause. (And if not, there is luckily a pair of grandparents living 5 minutes from here, so before I get into thoughts about throwing the kids out of the window, there is luckily the option to ask for help every now and then. "You bugged us ten years for your grandkids...now have fun with them for an hour. ^^ )

You people stress to much, for what comes natural for you once you start heading down that road.

Exactly, I agree. There will always be something that isn't quite right, but it's more about the people than anything. With me, as long as we have a place to live and food to feed our kids (when my gf and I have them), then I'm ok with the challenge.

Not really, I don't see how I would take care of kids....especially when they are very small and loud . Also though I am not entirely opposed to the idea of meeting someone and having it end up in an intimate relationship....but not exactly seeking that out either, intimacy is hard for me which has led to all my somewhat short term relationships ending.

I thought it meant that it sounded nice.
Because of "ring", like tapping a glass.
Thanks for clearing it up for me.