Does anybody here have diffiulty with self help skills?

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Most days I struggle with feeding myself enough (like easy-to-prepare meals) and time management with just about any area that matters...I do not live independently though, not yet.

On second thought, I don’t really cook anything anymore. I was OK to prepare one thing at a time, maybe two. I start getting flustered when I had to work on anything more than that. So, I pretty much gave up. I am much better when I just focus on one thing and get it done.

Regarding bill paying (i.e. writing checks and balancing the checkbook), I used to do it. But, I spent so much time checking and rechecking my work, I asked my wife to take over. At one point, my checkbook was off by > $1,000. I never figured out why.

Wanted to answer in more detail:

Living independently: Never been able to manage it. When I don't have support for basic stuff everything falls apart.

I have a lot of difficulty with cooking. My therapist tried to prove to me that recipes are simple by bringing one up and I kind of had a mini-meltdown over the second instruction because of the confusing wording.

Shopping is hard for me. If I go to the store and buy the same stuff I always buy, I'm okay. If I have someone with me, I'm okay. If I go in alone and have to buy things like clothing I'm probably going to have a mini meltdown. I especially hate trying on clothes, and I cannot remember how many times I've just left a clothing store because I couldn't cope with the process of selecting and purchasing clothes.

In Portland, OR, where I grew up, I learned the bus system so well that I had an easy time getting around as long as it was on a familiar bus route - or if it's unfamiliar, I have rather explicit descriptions of where it'll be stopping. Without sufficiently explicit descriptions I tend to fall apart. On one occasion, I was going to a friend's house to play D&D. This friend lived on the same block that I grew up on (like, I lived there until I was 11 years old) and I couldn't find his house. Move me to a different city and I lose all of that. I am willing to attempt getting around in a place like San Francisco or Seattle with relatively good public transportation, but I haven't ever needed to. I find trying to get around in places that are not Portland is rather discombobulating.

I mean like even in unfamiliar locations in Portland I at least know how to get back to familiar places. But in other places, I don't have that reassurance.

My cooking consists of vegetable + meat stirfry, boiling something, or microwaving something.

My shopping consists of buying same foods that I always eat and same products that I always use.

I can drive car and take bus and train, so my getting around is good too.

I can make phone calls, pay bills, and do paperwork to get things done, even though I don't like doing these things.

My self-help skills are basic, but they are good enough for me to live independently.

Ah yeah, I can't drive.

the way I drive has been known to scare people.

After many years I now clean my home. I can cook limited . I can shop on good days. But I'll be fanned if ibcan wash my clothes I destroy everything. It shrinks. Ruin colors. To much washing soap itching . It's just so embarrassing.

Can't even wash own clothes = failure at life

^^^
you're not the only one.

I think I can do most basic things such as preparing simple meals, laundry, grocery shopping etc. I am capable of looking after myself.

I, however, have procrastination and avoidance problems. I think it's due to my depressed mental state. Since I started to live in my current place in late 2009, I have not vacuumed the place. My place is littered with rubbish piling up everywhere. You can't walk in my place without stepping on something. Not that I have always been like this all my life. I also cannot drive. So doing some things that others find easy can be very difficult for me.

Amen. On those days I have to tell myself :"Get out of bed." "Brush teeth." I haven't showered in a week because it seems that deodorant is easier to apply. Yet my job requires me to be in front of people every day.

Making lunch or dinner has become so onerous I usually eat 4 meal replacements a day, in powdered form.

please take better care of yourself.

I lift weights three times a week, does that count? And I'll do social stuff sometimes in the evening....

the meal replacements lack important micronutrients that will eventually cause your body to fail you- mind you, not catastrophically but very slowly beyond perception until one day you find you are unhealthy. it happened to me, that is how I know. so please feed yourself better, you deserve it! a child of god deserves to love himself a lot more.

I have a lot of trouble with self-care.

I often don't eat enough, though there are also days when I eat way too much, and when I do cook it's always something really, really simple.
I can grocery shop ok, but it's hard for me to go do that on a regular basis.
I usually just get premade meals from wherever and take them home to eat, or in some cases eat some then save the rest in the fridge for later.
I've never properly unpacked and organized my stuff, even when I've had a place to live for years at a time, mainly because I'm horribly sentimental, and every time I try I end up in tears.
I almost never brush my teeth.
I almost never wash my sheets or bedding in general.
I don't cut my nails often enough due to sensitivity issues.
I don't shower daily though I really should.
I don't shave daily though I really should.
I wear the same pants for months at a time without washing them, since they're the only pair that currently fits, by which I mean several sizes too large at the waist so they're comfortable.
I almost never go clothes shopping.
I have a lot of trouble getting myself to do the laundry.
I almost never clean my room.
I have trouble keeping a regular schedule of any sort.
I have trouble washing the dishes unless it's right away after I use them or if I need them for the meal I'm about to eat.
I can't use antiperspirant (I get hives under my arms *shudder*), and I don't always remember to wear deodorant.
I don't get my hair cut as often as I should or would like to.
I'm terrible with bills and paperwork in general.
I'm not self-sufficient financially yet, though I have been working.
I don't take care of my car, which has led to major issues with it and much money wasted, although I can drive just fine most of the time.

So yes, while I often appear to much of the world to be relatively normal (at least on the good days *sigh*), and thus I'm considered 'high functioning', I'm not anywhere near as high functioning as just about every single NT I've ever met when it comes to taking care of myself.

Friends(?) of mine have often berated me for these shortcomings, assuming that I was like them and thus such things could not be all that difficult for me to deal with.
I tell them it's because I'm an aspie, and they say I'm just using that as an excuse.
That pisses me off to no end, since I try so hard to work on this stuff, but it's very difficult and over the years I've only had very limited success with some of it, yet they act like I could easily do all that stuff if I wanted to and I'm just being a lazy slob.
Jerks.

The messed up thing is that I know if I had some help from someone I liked and trusted, preferably a relatively attractive female since I seem to listen to them more than others, I could probably correct most of that stuff, but one of the consequences of having these types of issues is that no one really wants to get close enough to me to do that. It's a catch-22. *sigh*

Ah well, at least I have my books.

Hmm. I have trouble getting around by myself because I don't drive, so I am limited to getting around on my bike or via public transit.

I have a massive pile of mail and paperwork that I need to sort through (but can't bring myself to do for various reasons) and struggle to keep up on bills and such. I do a crappy job at time management in general. My personal hygiene could be better (though I try to make sure I'm not stinky at least). When it comes to cleaning, I tend to let clutter build up until I can't stand it any more, then I binge-clean.

Shopping I handle fine (though am hindered by the aforementioned transportation limitations). I actually enjoy cooking, but I can get easily stressed out sometimes and end up throwing stuff around the kitchen out of frustration and am not always up to dealing with dirty dishes, etc... I live with my mom, but when I fend for myself it isn't unusual for me to live off of sandwiches and cereal.

oh no! That's horrible. I wish I could help.