I don't care about socialising.

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Well. As a kid I was more social, but extremely extremely awkward and I had no clue about appropriate social skills.

I think it may be the schizophrenia then, as my executive functioning has suffered recently.

Negative symptoms are inherently harder to treat than positive symptoms. My psychiatrist assessed my schizophrenia as being "severe", as I am on two antipsychotics and an antidepressant, yet I still hallucination often and I keep falling into a fantasy world of Spies and Totalitarian regime-ridden world's which I must save...I say fantasy because that's what my friend calls it (I am questioning the unreality he states this to be).

Anyway.

I guess I need to improve my interpersonal skills, but when I talk to strangers, I am pretty sure they will hit me. I wont go into an empty building with a stranger in case I get attacked. Hence not wanting to be around strangers.

Although even with people I know well, I just don't want to talk. My dad and C (the true friend) are the two people I know won't physically assault me, or pick an argument.

I'm f***ed as far as ever getting a job goes.

Sometimes I can't speak properly because of the voices.

Its not really the making friends I have trouble with its the using appropriate social skills.

In Elementary school and middle I hated socializing, In elementary school they pushed me to socialize and make friends. To the extent of even putting me on the school bus (despite the fact my neighborhood is directly behind the school) to practice with noise and to try to get me to make friends. But all it resulted in was bullying and me standing up on the bus while it was still moving and saying "Be quiet!". From then on to about third grade I rode a Special Ed bus with a lot less people on it that would take me to the school where my mom worked and drop me off.

Then I remember the bullying got so bad I used to try to hang by the teacher at recess and talk to them. Some wouldn't mind, but my fourth and fifth grade teachers would say "Go play, Sarah" but I wouldn't, so eventually in fifth grade I went and helped with a Special Ed class at recess and never went to it again.

In Middle school I grew to hate the idea of socializing and making friends, so much that I only made one real friend there who understood me and is still my friend to this day. I used to hate going to school so much that I'd complain all the way to school. The bullying got so bad that I transferred schools in the early part of 7th grade. Although it started up again the other school was a little better then the last one.

Now, I'm in High School and I've made several friends. Although I still have the trouble with distinguishing right and wrong social behaviors.

From elementary school up through college I was never that social. I didn't try to engage conversations too much but when I did a lot of the time they would seem awkward and I had no way to make it easy.

I like to socialize with my family. I'm not very good at socializing with other people.
I don't think about socializing with other people and never gave it much importance.
I always thought that socializing just meant talking to people. I never paid attention to other aspects of it, like connecting emotionally and such, so I have an aloof and passive personality.

It's funny because as I got older and time went on I never realized how out of place I looked when I voluntarily went to a function with tons of people I know and tons I don't and they all interact perfectly, but I almost did nothing.

That is common in autism.

I don't care for socializing, either. I just don't see the point.