Obsessed over finding a friend

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Yes am doing that.

Frequent museums.
Frequent the gym
Frequent the Reef Cafe (or Cafe Reef) in Cromer or the Tea Rooms in Sheringham
Take photos of the coast which I need to upload to my blogs

Sometimes old people talk to me, but still no friend with shared interests and if they do share my interests they do it because they kind of like it but are not as into it as me. So the diffferences start becoming apparent.

IE I love going to the gym to work out with weights. I not only want to lose weight I love weight lifting, want to spend time reading about the science behind it but also want to body build a bit. I am aiming for this sort of look if possible:



Most females however are only going to the gym to lose a few pounds. They don't share my passion and they don't care about the science. They get bored with the science. They want to work out but talk about other things instead and I get bored with the general chit chat (although I try very hard not to...my brain wants to go back to the science of body building or any related nutrition etc). And so I feel disheartened that I have not yet found a compatible mate.

My other interests are presently sharks and needlecrafts.

It might be easier to find a needlcrafts buddy but I don't do needlecrafts as often as I used although due to getting to the gym etc. I did just subscribe to a new knitting magazine though. I want to learn to crochet and knit.

I see people posting personal ads online quite often looking for gym partners who are a match to their fitness level & goals, maybe you could find someone that way? Someone who's interested in training for a body building competition or something. A girl I know used to work for a nutrition/supplement store and worked out frequently and had/has a build similar to that. Maybe you'd find a workout partner working at one of those types of stores? Obviously people working there are interested in sports nutrition etc. Just like people meeting their significant other while doing their grocery shopping, maybe you'll meet someone at one of these types of specialty shops?

I think that while you're doing social stuff it's more at the kind of places where you might say hello to someone you recognise but not the kind of environments where you'd make lasting friendships. I think for friendships to form you have to be meeting the same people regularly and spending a fair bit of time with them. The only places I've made lasting friendships are either places where I've had no choice but to spend a lot of time with the same people - school, college, work, parents of my childrens friends. Or when I've arranged to meet other mums on a parenting website. Do they have any websites like that for people without kids? I found that meeting up with people who I knew were also keen to make a new friend really helped.
Either that or volunteering is a really good idea I think.

If I am ever over your area, (I live in Melbourne, Australia) I will gladly have tea with you.
It would be nice to have a female I can call a friend.

as another topic has said...you will often find that when you are not looking

NT's perceive desperation and are either turned off or perceive and opportunity to take advantage.

Sadly I agree with this in a lot of cases. A lot of NT people will see something different and either be fearful or a few will take advantage. People being horrible is the thing I fear most when my son grows up and I'm not there to protect him.

At the moment I have decided that looking for a friend in the normal ways is too stressful. Trying to socialise like an extrovert is not working for me.

I am exhausted and having pissy fits out in public due to the stress of it all. My routines are so disrupted I don't presently have any and I cannot function like that. I have also been trying to get around to organising my knitting and needlecraft collections and am most upset that I have not had time to do so what with all the running around trying to make chitty chat.

Anyway if I keep getting stressed out and ranting to myself in public people will start to think I am the local crazy lady. Today i became upset on the bus because my MP3 player would not work. I have an MP3 player when I go out for 3 reasons:

1 It shuts out background noise I do not like
2 I like listening to music whilst i travel/walk/workout
3 It stops people from nattering to me when I need a break from chit chat and don't wish speak or interact with anyone.

I never ever go out without my MP3 player...

It wouldn't swtich on, so I complained to myself outloud and chucked it on to the nearest seat.

This is the second time in the last week i have gotten myself exhausted and stressed to the point of having an upset out in public.

I also have a bad habit of talking to myself in public whether I am upset or not. If i see something that amuses me I will often comment on it whether there is anyone there to comment to or not. I also give myself running commentaries (need to catch xx bus then go to...blah blah blah) whilst walking and laugh out loud to my own thoughts sometimes.

I do not hear and see things but I am sure people will start think I am schizophrenic if I don't pack it in!

It's one thing to do it at home when I am alone it is another when I am out and about.

There is something up with me, I don't know what it is, but I am certainly a sandwich short of picnic (can anyone tell me how that is possible please...I mean is there a minimum number of sandwiches required before you can picnic or something? What about people who would prefer a sausage role? Or slice of cake instead? Can they not join in the picnic then? Where do people get these sayings....?). The local crazy person.

The one who talks to their self.
The one who the neighbours talk about because they talk to their self and always wear the same coat apparently (I am told people wonder about this by an overly talkative neighbour. Why on earth the latter is gossip material I will never know. MY coat is comfy, I have a second one that is identical for when the first one wears out...that way I won't grieve so much for it like I did for the old fleece I used to wear until it fell apart and I was not able to wear it anymore. I get attached to my things...).
The one who never has any visitors
The one who gets upset and screams sometimes.

and so on.

In a way I see why people avoid me. They think I am an emotionally unstable lunatic and I possibly am (I don't know what I am) but what I do know is I don't fit. The more I try to socialise the more I feel different to those I try to socialise with.

I don't feel like I belong in their world. I like my own world better...I get to spend lots of time with my hobbies there.

Just wish I had someone close to enjoy life with sometimes I think. A christmas dinner so I am not alone on Christmas day (don't suggest some public gathering...too many people, too much noise...arghhhhh no, I'll get stressed by it and talk to myself in public again, or chuck my cracker across the table in a moment of upset), someone to cuddle sometimes but someone who has lots of hobbies and can entertain themselves when I am trying to work out or stitch.

Perhaps I should get a dog? I can take it for walks along the coast if it does not mind traveling on the bus.

Four. Four is the minimum amount of sandwiches required for picnicing - think about it long enough, and it will make sense

Therefore, you are three sandwiches. Triwich.

I like your posts; you are clearly joining the ranks of the tortured geniuses. I hope you find a friend soon.

for me i found my current best friends when this girl i usually sit with at lunch put her hands in my food and messed it up.....so i quite sitting with that group because i considered that a huge violation

went and sat with some other people i knew a little but not a lot....now we're best friends....wasn't looking for it- just needed new place to sit, turned out good though. (back in hs- senior year)

Aww I'm so sorry to hear how lonely and frustrated you feel. ((((hugs)))))) I haven't got any friends just now either, and I've long since given up and resigned myself to it.

I would be your friend if we lived closer by. I don't drink tea but will drink other things. I like cake. I like discussing the meaning of the universe. I am not into sharks, but share your interest in getting strong (as opposed to just getting "toned") and I like my sewing machine.

I am not into bodybuilding, though. I prefer resistence training. I am just like you in the sense that I like to learn the science behind things. Whenever I get into a new hobby, I research it thoroughly and like to talk about it. So I like explaining to people why resistence training is better (in my opinion) than doing weights. So I will tell you why I like resistence training better. (Not trying to convince you to swap; just rambling on about my own special interest).

When you do bodybuilding, you are just working your muscles so that they will look good. You are not actually gaining any functional strength, because you are pushing or pulling weights towards or away from your body. Those motions do not translate into particularly useful skills in real life.

Doing regular press-ups (the proper kind, not the wimpy "girly" kind) will strengthen your wrists because you are using your own weight to do the exercise. You are pushing or pulling your own body, as opposed to pushing or pulling a weight. This works your muscles in an entirely different way, and makes you strong without "pumping up" your muscles as much.

Doing pressups may save you from breaking your hand or wrist. If you ever fall forwards onto the ground and need to break your fall with your hands, if you're a person who does pressups, you will have functional strength in your wrists. Also, doing regular chin-ups will greatly improve your ability to scale a wall or climb a drainpipe should you ever be fleeing from a pack of people in pursuit. This has never yet happened to me, but you never know.

It is interesting to walk up to a bodybuilder who looks strong, and challenge them to see if they can do chin-ups. Not many of them can. What good is pumping up your muscles to make them look impressive if they aren't really much good at helping you to climb a wall? The answer is, I suppose: it makes you look more attractive to the opposite sex, and that is what bodybuilders seem to be doing it for: they want to develop nice bodies they can be proud of and show off.

Personally I don't like the "Incredible Hulk" look on women. I do like this lady though. She has a body I admire (except her boobs are too small. That has nothing to do with her bodybuilding though. That's just the way she is). Her kind of bodybuilding is not too extreme. It just makes her look a bit like a female Tarzan.






That's a good idea. I have got a dog. He stops me feeling despair. He is great company.

Edit: I have read some more of your posts now. Oh, you poor darling. You sound just like me in some ways. Talks to self in street: check. Always wears same coat to go out: check. No one to spend birthdays or Christmas with: check. Christmas doesn't bother me as much since I stopped celebrating it. I'm a Christian, and Christmas is actually Yule, a pagan festival not a Christian one. Still, it's lonely on that day whether you celebrate it or not. All the shops are closed and all the streets are empty and you know that everybody else is happily cosily sitting in their living room with their family.

At least, that's the way it feels. It feels like everybody else in the world has got somebody to be with, and you are the only lonely one, but in reality there are probably lots of other lonely people out there who have no one to spend special times with, either. But remembering that doesn't make me feel any better. It just makes me feel worse. When I remember that, I feel sorry for all the other lonely people.

Anyway I hope you find a friend soon, and if you don't, it would be nice to get a dog.

i really don't like biceps and huge triceps on women...off putting...to each their own i guess

I dont think this ladies biceps are huge...

This is why I advocate real life social groups for people with ASD. This would at least give the person a chance to recover from forced isolation before they interact with NTs.

This would be difficult in a small town. I have that problem to.

In some areas it is possible to volunteer for an Archaeological dig. If the professor you had does not suffer from typical NT prejudices, that might be a way past the two references game.

ya she's not too huge
i'd say that's about the limit for me....
more then that and just looks strange
i think that's true for men as well though
the ones that get jacked up on the steroids and have muscles so big it looks fake
just doesn't look right =/ i dunno

As long as I do not lose my original shape below (when I was a few pounds lighter) as I do not want to look too masculine.