Searching for those who think similarly.

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The poster who described objective vs. subjective thinking has explained it very well. I too think in this way. I do not use judgment, I use observation.

People have often accused me of not having my own opinions. This is because I can almost always understand both sides of an argument, without making a judgment call myself. This can upset people who have very strong opinions themselves and want to goad others into debate based on those opinions. However, these types of people usually interact with the world on a strong subjective or emotional basis, and therefore cannot understand that they are not "right" or "wrong."

People can also become upset at me because I see even situations that are supposed to be very emotional, objectively. Something may be making them so sad or angry that they become irrational and cannot see the situation for what it truly is. Of course sometimes I can be irrational as well, I admit that I'm not perfect, but I still recognize my irrationality as such. There are many out there who do not recognize their irrationality and will insist that their way of feeling is the true and proper way.

That's enough rambling for me...I think this is the way that you are thinking as well, or at least very similar to it.

Why are you attacking leafplant?

Do you have some sort of personal problem with me?

And your statement does not make sense, nor does tigers. If everyone thinks in the same way then how are you lucky to have stumbled across someone who thinks along similar lines to yourself?

According to you and tiger everyone thinks along the same lines as yourself...ergo every one you meet is going to think like you.

Please sort your logic out before posting.

Also no where in my post did I say I wouldn't accept another persons way of thinking if they are willing to accept mine...unfortunately this is rarely the case and they try to change me so that I think more like them instead.

An example. I recently had to end my association with someone because they expected me to let them drink alcohol and smoke cannabis in my house whilst he had his friends around. When I pointed out that I did not want to inhale his cannabis smoke (I tried cannabis as a teen and had a bad reaction to it. I am also slightly asthmatic and it makes me wheeze. I do not use drugs or smoke cigarettes myself and I would be the same with a normal cigarette smoker in terms of not letting them smoke inside) he repeatedly kept asking me why and accusing me of being selfish for not letting have his drugs party with his mates.

I have a right not to inhale other peoples cannabis smoke just as other people use to have a right to not to have to inhale my cigarette smoke before I quit early this year. And before anyone shouts hypocrisy I used to ask visitors if it was ok for me to light up when they were at my house even though it was my home i wanted to light up in. If they did not smoke and said they'd prefer it if I did not light up, I would go outside and shut the door to make sure smoke did not blow back in.

He did suggest smoking his cannabis at the door but this is not viable where I am living. I don't think my quiet elderly neighbours in their 90s will appreciate a drugs party with alcohol and pot going on in the garden until the wee hours of the morning. I don't live on a run down council estate where no would notice the pot heads hanging around, I live in a small country village.

I said I had no issue with him smoking occasionally as long as he kept it away from me and I was not exposed to it. This was not acceptable to him and he basically told me that if he could not do his drugs with his mates in my house we could not be friends. I told him to leave then because I will not be bullied like that.


I do not consider myself as having been unfair. Nor do I consider myself as having been unfair in my OP here.

Last edited by bumble on 17 Nov 2013, 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bob dylan fan?

I like Mr Tamborine man.

My life as a wobbly table would be so much easier if others refrained from defining me and trying to fix me.

I see other wobbly tables about; they interest me by virtue of their wobble. I like to see why they wobble.

Non wobbly tables are boring. As are wobbly tables who think they are non wobbly.

I wonder how far it is from wobbleton to wibbleton?

A bit...


Play a song for me...

Goodness no. I was not attacking. There was no judgement there, just an observation. Kind of like your wobbly table leg.


My logic was sound, maybe my words were imprecise. Let me try again:

Everyone wants to find someone who thinks just like them. This does not mean everyone thinks in the same way, the process of thinking is likely very different, but the end result - the wanting to meet someone who thinks just like they do, seems to be universal.


And what is your part in that relationship? (please note I am not attacking you here nor wishing to change your thinking, just want to point out something you seem to be failing to take into account): If you (or anyone in similar situation) is unwilling to accept the other person fullu - i.e. including they wanting you to change for them, you are De Facto refusing to accept them the way they are. That's pure logic. I'm not going to touch on the debate of right vs. wrong etc. just want to make this point clear.



Being fair or unfair is a completely different aspect of this conversation. In this particular situation, I feel very much on your side of the debate and you were clearly not compatible with this person and they were clearly very selfish and wanted to take advantage of you.

i don't know but are there going to be wobbly wombles there?

or was it the wombles of wimbledon?

Wombles certainly live in Wimbledon. It would be nice to assume a sub set also live in Wobbleton.

HEY, Ms. Bumble!

Prejudging according to our educational experience (formal and informal) is a most natural trait. It's very "human animal" and an ingrained survival trait to respond to the environment this way. This is definitely the successful NT way.

YOU'RE saying the exact opposite: "Do not prejudge" (how Zen). In your example you use the table to illustrate the value of wisdom to understand the "table" behind the obvious table we all see,, and urge us to understand deeper than the surface appearance. Not trying to put words in your mouth but I think I might be close? In any case it seems a very logical, humane and wise way to order one's life.

I really like your analogy of the wobbly table. One might actually notice the table was only wobbly in one position, and that if you just move it over here........... It might just be the table is already perfect.

I've met others who take your thought to heart and into their lives, mostly on various Buddhist discussion forums, as I'm sure there are on other religious forums as well.. It's the way to live.

Thanks for your thoughts,
denny

Ok, No problem. It seems I can be a little over sensitive lately.

I am beginning to think it is the time of year or something.



If there is enough compatibility I do not wish to change the person at all. I do not mind having to compromise either as long as it is a realistic compromise that I am able to manage without it having a detrimental effect on my well being and health.

I have lot of issues with situations similar to that outlined above. My being so sensitive to things does not help as many people just think I am too fussy and get annoyed with me.

For example as a child I could not tolerate certain foods due to taste and texture. I would inevitably be sick if made to eat said foods. I informed adults of this and they made me eat the foods anyway. When I was sick (as in vomited) they told me off for that...which didn't seem fair.

Another example is people complaining about my needing my alone time or time to recharge socially. They expect me to pay attention to them virtually all the time and if I don't talk enough am accused of being unfriendly or of not like people (even though I have done things like make those people gifts). They expect me to change my level of introversion to match their extroversion and this, over time, exhausts me and makes me feel quite unwell. I often fail to keep up with social relationships when I do form them although I try until I become so exhausted I crash.

Ergo I have much trouble being around most human beings which I hate because I get lonely. This is often why I am critical of the human race and to be fair the individuals I have mostly encountered have shown me no understanding for my sensitivities or social difficulties. I change what I can but some of it seems to be out of my control. My brain just won't learn certain stuff.

Maybe I just fear there is no one I am compatible with.

That's sweet! I wish my bosses thought that about me - I make typo and you'd think the world was ending! I think your boss was actually kind of saying what Bumble is trying to say with different words. He sounds way better than the other mean boss!

Bumble - I think I agree with your OP, that is i think I understand what you trying to say. It could be said nicely like JSBach's boss said above, or maybe a little more enthusiastically as in: I'm me and I love me, there are no flaws only learning experiences - something like that!

If that's what you meant, I do agree, but sadly that's not the way the world seems to operate.

The guy with the pot was being horrible, you don't even have to explain to anyone why you don't want pot or alcohol in your home - I'm glad you stuck up for yourself.

Deleted - the road to hell being paved with good intentions, and all that.

Last edited by octobertiger on 17 Nov 2013, 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I hate to break this to you bubba, but if someone is more intelligent than you, than that means you are not intelligent enough to understand how they think.

Also, why you so mean to bumble? Bad tiger! If people don't agree with your view of the world you take it all personal and start being mean to them. It is appalling that you don't see this.

Just as well, really...

Synopsis of your post:

bumble is an idle ingrate and her probs are only in her mind. If she could but recognise this she'd be fine and wouldn't have to sponge off the govt.

I've had a lifetime of listening to such disableist claptrap and it sickens me to read it here.

Aid for those of limited intelligence

Not necessarily.

And I wasn't being mean - not in the slightest. Most people will not agree with the way I see the world.