I have a question about going out please...

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Oh I don't mind little old ladies. My mum and her friends were ancient when I was growing up so I am very used to being around old people. Sometimes, on arriving home from school, I used to think I had walked into the local OAP home by mistake. It was bingo and blue rinses all around!

Suffice to say I received all the second world war stories (about gas masks, rations and eloping with American GI's) from my mother and 1st world war tales from my nan.

Old people are funny...in a good way. They amuse me. And they are so polite most of the time, except for the odd grumpy one!

I attract a lot of little old people...they are the people most likely to speak to me. One the other day was telling me how she was going to have a totty of brandy in her tea when she got home as it was freezing. She thinks other pensioners are too tight with their savings when it comes to running their heating!

I am happy to listen for a few moments whilst waiting for a bus, but do not like to chitty chat when I am actually riding the bus to my chosen location. I like to enjoy the feeling of motion, the scenery and my own thoughts without being disturbed so will tend to find somewhere to sit by myself if I can. I let them get on first to be polite, but it also means they find a seat first then I can sit elsewhere so I don't have to carry on talking to them.

I tend to do this a lot...I chat for a few minutes to people and then disappear off on my own somewhere. When I do that though, people think I don't like them. I just want to sit by myself is all. It has nothing to do with whether or not I like them. If I don't like someone I won't usually talk to them at all let alone attempt to make chit chat with them especially as I find chit chat hard (and tiring as a result). I usually clam up and go silent around people I don't like or am uncomfortable around.

I don't chat to people my own age much though....they think I am weird usually and they are not nice to me like little old ladies are.



It is not so much of a phobia...I can like being around people I just don't always want to interact with them. I be nervous in some contexts but mostly it is that I don't know what to say to them or how to act around them really without looking like the local odd ball who just escaped from the local nut house.

It does not help that people call me weird, odd, strange, usual, different, bizarre and in the case of my neighbour recently eccentric.

Now I don't mind being odd in a make people curious way but i seem to be odd in the lets avoid her way...

I don't know why, I am not really dangerous despite my letting off steam in my writing online, I am polite (my mother was older generation and I was taught to have manners..to say please and thank you and hold doors open for people. I even thank the bus driver when I get off the bus), I am not prone to dangerous or out of control behaviours (I am prone to analysing my thoughts before acting on them to make sure they are safe) usually unless I am very depressed and even then I tend to refrain in case I hurt anyone or myself or even animals (....even if I do eat meat, outside of nutritional requirements I like to avoid causing harm to living creatures and do not like to see anything being cruelly treated...I can become most upset by such things actually), I just seem to come across as really freaking strange to people.

Now I appreciate my head is full of weird stuff most people are not interested in but really...this is because I have spent much time alone I suspect, not to mention having a brain that seems to be resistant to outside conditioning. I have developed my own odd way of being there is no need for people to avoid me.

Of course when the do approach me I can only cope with limited amounts of social interaction before I flee due to exhaustion. Appearing normal is so hard. Thinking of things to say is so hard. Reading what the hell they expect from me is so hard, living up to what they expect especially as it means being normal is impossible.

But I still like going out even if I don't interact. I did not interact with anyone today (other than the lady at the local college...I am trying to find a course to study..studying is the love of my life and I am lost without it so I am searching for a course I can get funding to do. I don't mind going to lectures, I just sit alone or next to another person sitting by themselves (the quiet looking ones with all the books usually) rather than the loud raucious group in the opposite corner of the lecture hall) but I still enjoy my day trip to the coast and back anyway.

I rode the 210 to North Walsham, then rode the 18 to cromer, then the x44 to Norwich, went to the college there in the city, then got the x44 back to cromer, then caught the number 5 to north walsham and then 210 back home. I rode lots of buses today and got info on local courses that I might be able to pursue if finding is available.

I need to start thinking about employment...my disability is not permanent, every few years they review it. As most of my physical symptoms have either gone or have reduced down to a low level I don't know if I will qualify again. If not I will need to earn monies as JSA is impossible to live on. The last time I went to an interview with my job center office they told me they want me to get over my social issues and go into mainstream employment. I am not diagnosed with an ASD, my diagnosis is Social Anxiety so I know what the government is pushing for. It is trying to get most people off disability anyway.

So I will eventually need to be able to get back to work. Hence the therapy. They told me to think about what is I want them to help me with.

Well firstly I want them to help me understand people and their bizarre belief systems.

For example...this whole worthlessness thing. Worthless in what ways? Compared to what? On what criteria is this based? What evidence is there that this criteria is realistic? and so on...I don't get this whole feeling worthless thing. It seems to be illogical to me.

Why are certain things considered to be bad? Ok i can understand things that hurt others being defined as undesirable but things that are harmless but different are also considered to be bad by people. Why?

Why is difference so stigmatised? Who decided what a human being should be and why?

Why do people keep attaching meaning to my words that is not there?

I say "I got A grades at Uni" and I am accused of one up manship or bragging when I was merely passing along information. Am I not allowed to pass along information? Why not? I am not really intimidated by someone who got good grades at college. I can be more intrigued by them actually. I want to know what they know...they may have relevant or interesting information for me.

And so on...

Also help with explaining to people that I keep disappearing off by myself not because I don't like them but because I am tired and wish to sit quietly with my own thought etc is all. Because I can't find a way to explain it without people being offended and not wanting to be my friend anymore.

I sometimes make friends but it's not long before they go away.

The things I am most interested in are outside at the moment...

The gym, the coast and riding buses. I do like needle crafts/arts and cafts and books but I can carry those things with me. The local libraries are outside as well. I have now found the libraries in Cromer, Sheringham and North Walsham (I have known where the Norwich library is for some time) and have visited all of them.

I am interested in studying Anthropology as a result of my interest in paleolithic nutrition and lifestyles. I need books even if I can't find a local course (would like to do the Archaeology, Anthropology and Art History degree with the UEA but funding might be an issues). I started an Archaeology degree some years ago (got good grades A for heritage studies module, A- for human geo, B+ for archaeology and C for physical geo which was terrible for me but I found the subject boring and didn't do the required reading so that was my fault). Anyway my grades were not bad considering the course was full time and I was trying to cope with looking after a disabled relative and family at the same time. I'd like to finish...

I am on my own now and only have myself to care for so...more time to hit the books.

I most prefer to study in libraries...I like libraries and museums! I feel at home in them. I also feel excited by them. I lost friends over them when I was teenager. I remember going to Birmingham with a group of girl friends I had made at school. I took them around all the museums there. However when we got back they declared "We are not going to Birmingham with you again". I replied with "why not?". They replied with "Well you took us around the museums and it was really boring" and I said "what did you want to do then?" and they said "we wanted to go shopping and talk about boys".

I thought we had had the most wonderful day! Suffice to say they were not my friends for long.

All the same I still love those places!

I have local museum pass meaning I can go into local museums as many times as I want without having to pay!

Another reason to go out!

I don't have any friends either...I go out by myself. People sometimes natter to me at the bus stop and a persistent woman keeps trying to talk to me at the gym but I keep trying to avoid her. She always wants to natter after my work out when I was planning to go ride a bus up to the coast so I tend to try and slink out before she catches hold of me in the changing room.

She keeps trying to get me to sell some gimmicky drink..I do not wish to and am not sure how to politely decline without offending her.

I like bowling too and have no one to do that with myself so I tend to stick to activities I can do alone (visit museums, go to the gym, go swimming, ride buses, go for coffee and read a book).

I use my MP3 player to shut out noise from crowds and to stop people from talking to me when I do not wish to chat.

I was embarrassed recently though as I was making an appointment for a massage post gym workout and she asked me if I had made any friends since I moved to nofolk (she was chatting to me about stuff). I had to lie and say yes a few..I hate not being able to tell the truth, which in this instance, is that I have been here for 4 years and have not made one single friend in all that time.

Mortifying.

Even my drs expect me to have friends and the benefits office.

If I say I am not able to get somewhere or the other as there is no public transport they will always ask me if there is a friend or someone who can give me a lift.

I have no one...

No friends, no family now, no partner, and no I don't know my neighbours well enough to ask them for a lift somewhere. I don't really talk to my neighbours except the one who keeps coming around to try for sex and he doesn't drive a car anyway. I keep sending him home without nookie and on foot seeing as he only lives across the walkway from me lol.

This not having friends is becoming embarrassing. Everyone keeps expecting me to have friends, even potential dates...as soon as they realise I am friendless everyone starts treating me like I must have the plague. So other than men popping around to try it on for sex I can't even seem to get a date.

I am expected to hang around in a girly pack it seems. Oh may god help me!

Excuse the row of posts babbling. I am a little stressed out with this having to find a job thing.

I have been out of work for so long (between being on disability and caring for my mum for a number of years) and my education was so long ago I have no references.

I am going to have to do some kind of volunteer work..or study but they too want references.

I do not feel I will qualify for disability under the new governmental changes, especially as I hate going to drs and therapists and won't take medications (they misinterpret all my symptoms...my tendency to wear jammies in the house is put down to depression when its more to do with sensitive skin and wanting to be comfy, my social issues are put down to embarrassment or fears of when that has very little if anything to do with it, people keep insisting i feel worthless when I do not....it becomes frustrating trying to get these people to understand so I usually refuse to see them now) and I am needing to resolve my social difficulties enough so that I can go to work when my disability finished in 12 months time, so I don't have long to prepare and get myself ready.

I am also going to need to find a job I can do by then.

So my going out is a good thing anyway as it gets me used to being out of the house every day instead of being in.

Stupid system. My therapist won't help much with the social issues, I will get the same thing from her as I have always got "if you relax it will come to you naturally". In 20 years I have not made friends and when I did in my teens I could not hold them. I had a few relationships in my young twenties and late teens when a couple of men were charmed by my strange oddities...in my later years men are not so impressed with my weirdness...they keep trying to make me normal.

Im stressed out

Ah, I just assume that most people on here figure they are on the autistic spectrum, either self-diagnosed or officially. That's why I specifically have my signature saying that I don't think I'm autistic (although I think I should just change that to 'I don't know' at this point, I'm not certain of anything anymore.) It'd feel like I'd be...manipulating or masquerading if I didn't convey my lack of autistic status here. Note that I'm just saying this about myself, I do not feel like you have lied bumble, I'm just explaining my thoughts.

You've brought something up many, many times, about how you don't understand negative and positive connotations to things you say, like the example you've given here, your grades. People don't view things as neutral because, well, they often get positively or negatively affected by even tidbits of information. A simple fact simply just isn't viewed as a fact, it's taken in as a part of your social context, and your non-verbal communication can convey a lot too. For instance, if you were to simply blurt out your grades when the conversation wasn't about grades or even school, I would think you were bragging. For why else would you feel the need to convey that specific information about yourself to me? Why is THAT tidbit of information important if it weren't you trying to convey to me that you're smart? Another instance I would view you telling me your grades as if you were bragging would be if your body language wasn't appropriate to ensuring that I don't view it as bragging, even thought the conversation would be about grades. Like say I was saying what my grades were and they weren't very good, and then you chimed in nonchalantly (why is it always 'non' chalant?) that your grades were very good. Well, first off, my low grades are probably a source of shame for me. If you fail to see that, then you're of course not going to understand how you then conveying that you have great grades will likely make me feel worse about myself, even if I didn't want it to. See, society works around comparisons and successes, even for small things. And it's not just about climbing the social ladder as I've heard some people on WP say time and again. It's about feeling badly when you don't fit in, and the strong desire to be seen as part of a group, and some people strongly perceive that fitting in means having to climb a social ladder. (Of course others truly want to climb the social ladder for its own sake, but I'd say that that's not the norm.) People will feel like they *should* do well in school, so much so that if they don't do well, they'll feel like crap because of it. Either that or they will feel the need to blame a poorly taught course or a poorly designed exam or something.

Actually, I wonder if I may have hit on something just now, have you ever felt shame? It could be that you don't experience shame at all. What about guilt, do you feel guilty ever? (This, I've read recently, can be thought of differently than shame because guilt requires feeling bad about how your actions affected someone else, while shame is more or less self-guilt.) It would make it quite hard to understand a lot of how people feel. And if it's not shame, maybe it's just some other emotional state that you simply don't experience within yourself.

It can be hard for people to understand that you like someone, especially someone new in your life, if you just up and leave to be by yourself, especially if you don't give them an explanation for what you're doing. See, most people probably don't get the pleasure you do from sitting and riding the bus in silence, enjoying the scenery. I suspect most people, unless they're sight-seeing (and even if they are sight-seeing), view that as something boring. To most people, you're choosing something boring over interacting with them, which makes them think you don't like them.

When you interact with people in your day-to-day life, especially when trying to make friends, do you explain these differences that you have from many people? I suspect that if you were to find someone locally with who you managed to share what you share with those of us on WP, you'd have no problem finding a friend. Sure, some people will still not get it or figure they don't like you because of it, or it makes it too awkward, etc., but I think the type of person you need to have for friends are the type that are non-judgmental anyways. But even then, if you act snobbish or whatever it is that you convey (even though you totally don't mean to), even the nice people are going to think poorly of you.

I rather appreciate how you are bumble, because I think that you'll be able to read this post and not feel hurt about what I'm saying, (like daring to suggest that you don't feel shame...most people would get quite hurt by that, I sincerely hope you don't!) even if you disagree with it. A characteristic I find I have is that I'll say things that I don't mean to be mean, but they're invariably mean-sounding things. I know that the few close friends I've had in my life have known fairly well when I do not mean to sound mean or condescending. I guess the memories that are coming back to me about that though was when I was happy and extroverted and social, back in highschool, so I guess my friends knew I cared for them, and they knew I didn't think poorly of them.

Are you sure people aren't calling you depressed for other reasons, like, for instance, they see your stress about not having a job and not having friends?
You've basically said yourself, here, that you're depressed because you don't have friends.

Hmmm, if you can get a diagnosis of depression such that you could stay on disability, perhaps you should stretch the truth a little :-p

I can feel shame briefly but only if I were to hurt someone in a real way.

I don't consider someone being insecure about their grades as being a real form of hurt as such. It has caused them no physical harm and the only reason they feel bad about themselves for such a nonsensical thing is because society has brainwashed them into believing that there is something wrong with not being good at something.

There are things I am not good at..I do not feel shame because I am not good at them.

Why do I have to be good at everything? What is wrong with not being good at something? Why should it be shameful?

Society has bizarre belief systems where it insists that there is something wrong with not being this perfect creature it thinks you should be. What absolute poppycock. If you do poorly at a course there is no need to feel shame at all. Better to look at why you failed and ascertain whether or not you can try again or improve in the future. Alternatively you could try something else that you may be better at!

I once failed a practical experiment at college. I needed some salad vegetables to putrefy and rot. They did not. Mine was the only experiment that did not work. I had a moment of disappointment and then became distracted by the question why. Why did it fail? What did I do wrong? did i buy the worlds longest life lettuce or something? Was it the fault of Tesco? Or I do something wrong during my experiment.

I went away, I answered my own questions (although I forget the answers now) and wrote my experiment up.

Afterwards my tutor came up to me and said "I know your experiment failed but your write up was so brilliant as you have told me exactly why it did not work, that I have passed you anyway". I went on to get an overall A grade for that course.

As a result I do not measure failure in the same way society does. You see technically my desire was to increase my understanding of a subject. That is why I study. So although my experiment did not yield the results I was hoping for it did still achieve my ultimate aim...I developed my understanding..in this case of why my salad vegetables did not rot!

There is no shame in that and I do not fear failure as a result...As I said I merely work out what went wrong and look into finding out how I can change that or I go do something else instead.

Nor do I experience embarrassment for long. I was embarrassed when the masseur asked about friends but it was a fleeting feeling that has now passed. I remember it though but I don't experience it all over again when I think about it. I think of it instead in analytical terms...as I desire, as with many other things, to understand it, preferably from a logical or practical view point.

Now if I accidentally hurt someone...I would not feel shame as it was an accident. If I deliberately hurt someone I would feel horrible and wouldn't be able to sleep at night. It would haunt me. I do not like hurting people but I do not understand why they feel shame over such silly things really.

Like making a social mistake or knocking their coffee over or walking into a lamp post in front of people.

I walked into a lamp post once, people laughed, it was funny! I was not hurt and it made me laugh!

The same when I sent everyone 30 miles the wrong way up the motorway (literally sending them to Conventry) because I was holding the map upside down. I found it hilarious. The other people in the car were not so amused. Grumpy buggers they were lol.

There are things I am good at, things I am not good at, shades of grey in between...I don't mind. I just want to experience and learn and try to understand those things that fascinate me as best I can. That is fine by me, I do not care if there is something I cannot do very well. I will put all my love into it anyway just like I usually put all my love into my studies or my stitching (although I don't stitch so often now as I really prefer to have someone to give my stitching too and I am out and about more often than not these days):

http://starlightstitchingstop.blogspot.co.uk/

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I spent hours working on those pieces and on the other pieces in my blog simply because I loved what I was doing and tend to put all of my heart into things. Id does not matter to me if I am good or not, what matters is that I put my best effort in and loved and enjoyed what I was doing.

I do not have to be perfect at something to accept myself, I just have to love what I am doing and do the best I can. I am fine with that.

It is not that I don't feel shame, I just don't judge in the same way that society does.

I have long been ostracised by society for my social difficulties, I seem to have developed my own belief system as a result which also contributes towards making me rather weird.

Even my therapist said I have a complicated presentation of symptoms....

With my depression I just feel sad, with my anxiety I just feel overwhelmed. I do not have other symptoms such physical symptoms (except migraines) or feeling worthless or even wanting to die most of the time.

I can feel suicidal but that is only once a month a few days before my period. I never experience suicidal feelings at any other time and never have. I do keep telling my drs I think that there is something wrong with my hormones.

I am not comfortable with stretching the truth. I do not wish to go to a depression support group or receive therapy for feelings I do not have or beliefs I do not hold. This does not help me with my actual problem which is fitting in with other people or being able to work with them due to personal differences and misunderstandings cropping up all over the place. Not to mention the exhaustion of having to make chitty chat for hours on end to the point that all I can do when i get home is sleep. Actually, if I spend too long chatting I will start falling asleep mid conversation. I literally have to fight to keep my eyes open and my brain will stop processing things after a while.

I really need to leave and be by myself at that point so I can sleep please...I don't want a three hour argument with someone over why I am boring if i don't want to stick around and make chitty chat. Now it feels to me like I am being tortured by then.

I also find depressed people depressing..they hate everything whereas I feel great passion for my hobbies and interests. I feel very excited by them even if its something others find boring. i don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of misery guts who hate themselves.

I don't mean that as harshly as it sounds, I used to want to be a psychologist so i could help them (I originally registered for a psychology degree at Uni when i went there but changed at the last minute), I just realised in my later years I don't even understand their brand of depression let alone find myself able to empathise with them in a way that can benefit them.

I just feel sad and lonely and yearn for someone to love who loves me too. I do not feel shame that I have not found someone yet, I do not hate myself, I don't feel worthless. I just feel sad/upset/hurt/lonely.

The problem with stretching the truth is that they want me to keep taking treatments that make me worse (such as antidepressants) and do nothing to help with my actual problem.

It would be best if I could find a job I can do (something where I can use my skill or something I can do alone), rather than stay in the system.

Pn

That in accordance with my belief system, I don't think badly of other people for not being good at something either. I do not think less of them or believe their feeling matter less just because they don't have a particular skill or ability or social status.

I really don't pay much attention to a persons social status. A person with feelings is a person with feelings regardless of social group/status or background.

If i come across as offensive in regards to my opinions I don't mean to.

In regards to depressed people I find them difficult to cope with. They want me to emotionally comfort them and I am not able to do this in a way that works for them. The result is that I can tend to upset them more by mistake. They are determined to believe they are bad people because they are not good at something and also very upset by any ability that I have so I tend to find it is best to steer clear for both my benefit and theirs.

I cannot always suppress my ability as it is not something I trained myself to do. I had this problem in a group on an online learning course. My posts were intimidating to the other group members because they felt i was posting all the answers during an open discussion online. Firstly it was a theoretical discussion not a question and answer round, secondly i thought I was bringing up important points for discussion and thirdly I waited 2 days and no one else posted those points so rather than have them missed out completely I decided to bring them up.

I have a brain that questions and (as i told by my lecturers at college) that makes connections or spots patterns that many people miss. This is how my brain naturally works. I also used to have an excellent memory before all my migraines and antidepressants. I never even revised for exams and I still got A grades. I did not go out and get A grades to become the class brainiac. It was all an unfortunate accident.

Ergo its best if I work alone or with very secure people as otherwise I will accidentally offend people with an ability I am not able to control as it was never something I worked hard at or forced msyelf to be able to do.

I just loved learning is all and the grades made themselves. I did my work as requested and my tutors kept giving me high grades.

Not my fault. Didnt ask for it, didnt do it on purpose to show off.

Just wanted to understand things.

I like going out; it's socialising I don't like. I don't like crowds, either, but I can deal with them in limited amounts for the sake of doing something fun.

I don't really mind going out, as long as its not a social event and it doesn't interfere with some I have going on the same day, like a new episode of a tv show. Also, I am extremely uncomfortable leaving the house if my hair hasn't been washed that same day. I'm really self conscious about my hair.

You know that ESA SG is not about points; it is about passing basic criteria with health professional back up?
Check out 11, 12, 13, 14 below

In order to be eligible for the support group you need to meet at least one of the criteria set out below.

Qualifying for the support group of employment and support allowance (ESA)is not about scoring points. Instead, if the decision maker accepts that any of the following descriptors apply to you, then you will be placed in the support group.

1. Mobilising unaided by another person with or without a walking stick, manual wheelchair or other aid if such aid can reasonably be used.
Cannot either
(i) mobilise more than 50 metres on level ground without stopping in order to avoid significant discomfort or exhaustion
or
(ii) repeatedly mobilise 50 metres within a reasonable timescale because of significant discomfort or exhaustion.

2. Transferring from one seated position to another.
Cannot move between one seated position and another seated position located next to one another without receiving physical assistance from another person.

3. Reaching.
Cannot raise either arm as if to put something in the top pocket of a coat or jacket.

4. Picking up and moving or transferring by the use of the upper body and arms (excluding standing, sitting, bending or kneeling and all other activities specified in this Schedule).
Cannot pick up and move a 0.5 litre carton full of liquid.

5. Manual dexterity.
Cannot either:
(a) press a button, such as a telephone keypad or;
(b) turn the pages of a book
with either hand.

6. Making self understood through speaking, writing, typing, or other means normally used.
Cannot convey a simple message, such as the presence of a hazard.

7. Understanding communication by hearing, lip reading, reading 16 point print or using any aid if reasonably used.
Cannot understand a simple message due to sensory impairment, such as the location of a fire escape.

8. Absence or loss of control over extensive evacuation of the bowel and/or bladder, other than enuresis (bed-wetting) despite the presence of any aids or adaptations normally used.
(a) At least once a week experiences
(i) loss of control leading to extensive evacuation of the bowel and/or voiding of the bladder; or
(ii) substantial leakage of the contents of a collecting device;
sufficient to require cleaning and a change in clothing.

9. Learning tasks.
(a) Cannot learn how to complete a simple task, such as setting an alarm clock, due to cognitive impairment or mental disorder.

10. Awareness of everyday hazards (such as boiling water or sharp objects).
(a) Reduced awareness of everyday hazards leads to a significant risk of:
(i) injury to self or others; or
(ii) damage to property or possessions,
such that they require supervision for the majority of the time to maintain safety.

11. Initiating and completing personal action (which means planning, organisation, problem solving, prioritising or switching tasks).
Cannot, due to impaired mental function, reliably initiate or complete at least 2 sequential personal actions.

12. Coping with change
(a) Cannot cope with any change, due to cognitive impairment or mental disorder, to the extent that day to day life cannot be managed.

13. Coping with social engagement due to cognitive impairment or mental disorder
Engagement in social contact is always precluded due to difficulty relating to others or significant distress experienced by the individual.

14. Appropriateness of behaviour with other people, due to cognitive impairment or mental disorder
Has, on a daily basis, uncontrollable episodes of aggressive or disinhibited behaviour that would be unreasonable in any workplace.

15. Conveying food or drink to the mouth.
(a) Cannot convey food or drink to the claimant’s own mouth without receiving physical assistance from someone else;
(b) Cannot convey food or drink to the claimant’s own mouth without repeatedly stopping, experiencing breathlessness or severe discomfort;
(c) Cannot convey food or drink to the claimant’s own mouth without receiving regular prompting given by someone else in the claimant’s physical presence; or
(d) Owing to a severe disorder of mood or behaviour, fails to
convey food or drink to the claimant’s own mouth without receiving —
(i) physical assistance from someone else; or
(ii) regular prompting given by someone else in the claimant’s presence.

16. Chewing or swallowing food or drink
(a) Cannot chew or swallow food or drink;
(b) Cannot chew or swallow food or drink without repeatedly stopping, experiencing breathlessness or severe discomfort;
(c) Cannot chew or swallow food or drink without repeatedly receiving regular prompting given by someone else in the claimant’s presence; or
(d) Owing to a severe disorder of mood or behaviour, fails to—
(i) chew or swallow food or drink; or
(ii) chew or swallow food or drink without regular prompting given by another person in the physical presence of the claimant.

I probably qualify on 13 and 14 but no doubt my therapist will say it is just my negative thinking. They are determined to ignore the fact that I cannot relate to, or successfully, communicate with others due to vast differences in thinking style.

The outbursts would be on of my moments where I get so upset trying to explain things and not finding anyone who understands that I smack myself on the head. I don't think my employer would like that much...

Frustration with feeling like I am the only person alive who thinks like me. People always accusing me of things I have not done nor intended because they keep adding meaning into everything I say and do that is just not there (Ie i make a literal observation they think there is some hidden underlying meaning...um I was making a literal observation...i had not attached any meaning...thanks), difficulty making chit chat because it hurts my damned head and never gets any easier, people insisting I like boring things when I have to put up with endless boring small talk over and over and over and over....

But if I went around saying other people had a lack of cognitive ability because they cant' make the grades i make academically I would be wrong you know, that would be unfair. And it would be unfair of me. But society is allowed to do it to me because I can't make pointless dumb small talk about subjects that are not important with people who don't think things through logically or include enough detail?

I am dumb because essentially I can't communicate with dumb people. I am not talking about users of this site...most here i consider intelligent. But the general population (with a few exceptions) is not exactly bright. They are the ones who cannot understand basics such as the fact that their belief system is just one possible belief system and is not some great truth about life and existence. It is just one way of perceiving or looking at the world. Concepts like worthlessness are sociological, they only exist because they are believed to exist in that culture...a bit like santa clause. He only exists if you believe in him...but he doesn't really exist at all in reality. He is a delusion...just like worthlessness, hierarchy...a man made creation.

There is no wrong with not being good at something...who said we were all supposed to be good at everything...that is not realistic or possible.

Stupid human culture making up BS and brain washing everyone into believing to the point that people are labelled as bad, or wrong, or disordered because they are different or posses a different neurology or psychology.

Society sucks ass!

It's full of nitwit...judgemental twits that they are.

Cognitive impairment just because I am a quiet person and don't need to keep gas bagging on all day about complete bloody rubbish.

pfft

If the governments to argue i have cognitive impairment because I can't small talk and I don't share societies main belief system then I insist on the right to argue that they have a cognitive impairment if they can't get 97% on a physics paper at University level study.

It's only fair after all...

--------

Sorry sore about the governments labeling and the arrogance of so called normal people thinking everyone should want to be like them or considered themselves disordered if they are not. Maybe I don;t want to be like them...perhaps I find them slow., ignorant, narrow minded and obsessed with their own egos to point that if they look closely enough they will realise it is crippling not only themselves but society as well.

Mankind can do so much better...if we worked together and appreciated each other as equals with different levels and types of ability. Instead it some race to be the best or always be right or be the winner or some other bollocks.

Understanding and human welfare always takes a back seat to the constant ego masturbation undertaken by human not so kind.

F off society (not personal to anyone on here...its a finger up to mankind in general).

My vent, my apologies, need to let off steam, do it via writing rants, thanks for reading my bollocks.

Ta.

still get that even here i think. i still struggle to make myself understood, people just want to misunderstand me so much. Obv a lot worse in the real world though.

We just have egocentric ways of seeing the world. Thats such an aspie trait.

honestly, u fit right in here.

u do so many typical things here

your posts are faily long but they fit right in. Can u imagine what ud get on a normal forum if u post what you post? except its completely normal here. And people on here not only write posts that long but i think they probably even all read them too.

I got told at my official dx that aspies are data gatherers. Does that sound familiar to you?

Youve just proven that you're an aspie.

Whether you like to go out and do day trips, or not, doesnt have squat to do with whether you're an aspie or not.

But the fact that you dont like to interact with people on outings IS a sign of being an aspie.

you're not an agoraphobic. But agoraphobia has nothing to do with aspergers, one way nor the other.l