I feel like an alien

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Well, I haven't had the luck to meet someone who is open minded. If someone ever tells me, they do like the fact that I'm different and truly mean it, I might changed my mind, but until then...I'll keep thinking like this.

I believe I am the result of ongoing genetic experiments being done by the Greys to blend their DNA into a hybrid, so that they can learn to experience human emotion.

I thought that's why the website was called Wrong Planet and it's mascot was an alien - because we all felt that way.

Wow that's deep. So deep, in fact, that I can't figure out what it means.

i always felt like i shouldnt be in school with others because i felt different, my sister said i was an ailen my parents adopted when i was a baby (of course not true) and that i was really an animal in a human body.

It is divided! A portion feel pleasure out of dehumanizing others. A portion feel perverse pleasure (in that they feel empathy but not much). A portion is just glad not to be at the bottom. A portion don't want to be associated with the poor sap who pulled the short straw but empathize completely. A few will stand up and do something.

When an animal senses corruption in one of it's limbs it will chew it off to save itself. Human social hierarchies react the same way to non-NTness. They react to the difference with punitive measures to correct the behavior, and a corresponding decrease in social equity is incurred lining up the social classes from "Most apparent typical dominant" to least apparent typical submissive." This makes sense as a way of organizing society in the same way it makes sense for two people to converse both in English, instead of one speaking English and the other manderine (sp?).. or dolphin. NT's all speak roughly the same social language, this facilitates easy comunication by allowing all NT's to go through the motions of preset encounters. Greetings, flirting, etc are fairly normalized and transferable. Now throw in an aspie:

for example
Hug-
NT reaction - cortisol release, increased personal social equity, "affection" used to demonstrate empathy / acknowledge existing relationship.
aspie rxn - Fear/panic response, decreased personal social equity, "violation of space" damages personal relationship / demonstrates lack of understanding of needs.

NT's want to have the easiest communication process possible, for that they need uniform conduct. Non-standard conduct inhibits the system from working fluidly.

This brings us to dominance/ submission. if you accept that we've established that social skills result in a unified non-verbal/verbal language then each societal member is a promoter of the language they use. Thus those who have a stake in one language over another are competing for language dominance.

Let's say that an aspie is the social leader: this means that in their social group "hugs" are a social signal that signifies dislike. an NT entering the group may attempt to develop a relationship using a "hug" only to be rejected. Now the NT is known to use offensive body language when among aspies and aspies wishing to avoid being hugged will need to avoid the NT. If the NT keeps trying to hug aspies many will reject him.

Some aspies, however, begin to understand the value of hugs to communicate empathy and so they begin to engage with the NT more. Their social connections to other aspies create a chain reaction of close friends and relatives deciding that hugs now signify empathy instead of being offensive leaving the social structure chaotic with some aspies using hugs to signify offense and others empathy.

Thus far no dominance or submission is being applied by either side, thus both aspie and NT traits are present in equal amounts leading to chaotic social interactions. In order to return to order, one or the other social paradime must be adopted and enforced otherwise aspies and NT's will not be able to communicate.

The lead aspie decides to take punitive measures against the NT. Aspies are banned from interacting with NT's on threat of being ostracized. This is important because aspies still use hugs to represent offense, and would not want to be stuck either alone or with NT's. Since there are more aspies than Nt's the social pressure exerted with more connections on the aspie side than the NT side leads NT-converts to return to aspie-dom in order to retain their social connections. the presence of NT behavior decreases as the number of individuals who feel free to choose either NT or aspie behavior switch to the more dominant side, leaving only choice-less NT's on the NT side. To prevent a resurgence of NT-hugging the punitive behavior continues indefinitely.

A very nice example that I shall consider more later.

In the meantime, do some aspies like hugs?

I am not sure if I have an ASD or not but in some contexts I can like hugs and in others I do not.

For example:

If I like someone and/or have an intimate or familial bond with them I am fine with hugging them as long as I initiate it.

If on the other hand a complete stranger tries to hug me it kind of makes me want to get away from them (space please touchy feely people). Also i do not like hugs as way of offering comfort or solving a problem...this annoys me, please don't do it. EEk.

On saying that I can hug a stranger if its my choice to do so, just not if it is theirs. I don't like surprise hugs I am not expecting.

Gotta head off to catch a bus now so will consider your reply about social communication more fullly later.

I don't like the random strange hug. I do like the very short hugs from a friend once it is an established part of our meeting routine.

I feel like a monster sometimes. I don't act human, I don't think like them, I'm horrendously ugly, and they sure as hell don't want me here, and if I'm honest, sometimes I want to harm them. Somebody has to pay for it all, all the ignorance, my complete lack of options. I can't be right that they can do this and nobody has to pay.

I feel this way sometimes, too. I've been lucky in the way of having a good family and group of friends who accept me for who I am. I don't think all of them fully understand aspergers, but they just know its what I act like, and they go with it. However, I mess up a lot socially, and sometimes I feel like I would be better suited for a different planet.

Imagine an aspie/ASD planet, though! Everything would be ASD friendly; not a lot of bright lights, no loud noises, everything is nice to the touch, nobody says what they don't mean, there are cons for people with similar special interests(nobody is judged for their special interest, either), and everybody asks permission before they touch you. I would love to visit, but I would have to make regular trips back here to see my family and friends, lol.

This website is actually the place that made me want to get a UFO tattoo to represent my aspergers. I had always wanted a tattoo of some kind for it, ever since I was diagnosed, but this website's name gave me the idea. I'm hoping to get it when I turn 18.

That makes a lot of sense. It even allows for matters of degree, much like how some languages considered distinct are so close together that they're mutually comprehensible. There you actually do get one person speaking language A and the other language B and both (mostly) understanding each other, as happens a lot in Scandinavia.

Similarly, someone with mild ASD symptoms will probably have an easier time getting along with NTs than someone with more severe symptoms might.

I certainly do feel pretty alien. Before my diagnosis I tended to seek out certain subcultures, but never really felt at home there either even if I had certain things in common with them.

I'm not convinced a 100% aspie planet would work, though. I think it might lack a certain social cohesion that is necessary for society and the economy to function. I don't like to be so negative about aspies, because I feel we can bring a lot to the table; I'm just not sure 100% aspie would work right. Now, a mixture of aspies and NTs could work much better, as long as tolerance both ways is properly fostered. I think society is slowly moving that way, just wish it weren't quite so slow...

Me too. I don't want an NT brain. I think a planet full of mentally advanced people would do just fine.

I've always felt kind of like an alien who came here on an undercover mission to study human behavior. I can mimic it but still don't really understand it.

I pretty much prefer people who are uniquely wired. And I mean it.

I suspect that you have been horrifically abused by family members. If so, are you still living with them? From personal experience I have FINALLY learned that if your family has made your life a nightmare, there is NOTHING you can do to make them love you. And that is not your fault, it's theirs. And they will not stop hurting you.

There are good people in the world. I promise.

I pretty much prefer people who are uniquely wired. And I mean it.

I suspect that you have been horrifically abused by family members. If so, are you still living with them? From personal experience I have FINALLY learned that if your family has made your life a nightmare, there is NOTHING you can do to make them love you. And that is not your fault, it's theirs. And they will not stop hurting you.

There are good people in the world. I promise.

I pretty much prefer people who are uniquely wired. And I mean it.

I suspect that you have been horrifically abused by family members. If so, are you still living with them? From personal experience I have FINALLY learned that if your family has made your life a nightmare, there is NOTHING you can do to make them love you. And that is not your fault, it's theirs. And they will not stop hurting you.

There are good people in the world. I promise.

I often feel as though I am on the outside, looking in, at the rest of the world.

Last edited by delaSHANE on 24 Dec 2013, 4:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.