I want my autism!

Post Reply New Topic

That is, I guess, what forum is for. I am undiagnosed myself. I do recognize myself in many symptoms, but all that I can say is - I don't know. Maybe I am just hyper sensitive person, maybe some bad experiences made me like this... What I do know is that symptoms are here.

Truth be told, I wanted to be provocative in this post because I think that autism is still a big mystery today, and it is important to talk about it, to understand it better. Someone, you can only understand better if you are provoke. That I dare only when I am writing. I am a real chicken in real life.
But no, this was not trolling attempt, it was not my intention.

I am glad you are here too.

I am sorry to hear you school life was Hell like mine.

As regards me not being very warm to your post it was and is aimed at your original post not you.

I doubt that somebody that has no friends and goes through bullying everyday in school would be faking a condition to be cool Aspergers is a very real condition.

As regards people who would fake it I would only show them my disgust.

I do think we should be careful and not tar genuine people that is the basis of my dislike of your original post.

A word of caution.

There are plenty of people who've seen their limitations/problems over the years, eventually realized their symptoms were in step with HFA, and ended up diagnosed.

It sounds like you're ridiculing the very people you should be standing shoulder to shoulder with.

Remember-
There are people who suspect they're on the spectrum today, and WILL be diagnosed tomorrow.

How will you feel then?

Are you lacking in empathy to even start this thread?

I notice YOU are not even diagnosed yourself.

I was first diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 5/6 (after it became clear I could not function in a regular classroom at all), Asperger's at 13, and re-diagnosed ASD at 29, but I've never had problems with facial recognition. Immediately, when I see a face, all sorts of things about the person I've known immediately come to mind, even if I did not expect to meet that person in that context. This is with the exception that I have difficulty attaching names to faces.

I'm confused.

I keep on reading there are all these teenagers and 20 something hipsters that want to be an Aspie. I keep on reading how it's cool and hip. I read it here, I read it in most youtube comment sections, I read it in one of America's esteemed literary Magazines http://nymag.com/news/features/autism-s ... -2012-11/., I read it in America's most esteemed Newspaper. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/01/opini ... ef=opinion It is my feeling that the DSM 5 dropped it in part due to this perception.

If it's is so cool, if it's so hip and why do I read again and again about aspies being bullied in every way imaginable.

Me thinks the Aspie wannabe phenomenon it's basically an urban legend.

Well, it might be that those who think it's cool don't know what it really is, and when they meet someone who is autistic, they will think he is ret*d and oddball. I know from other forums, public forums, people who got some idea of asperger's=Einstein, and that is why they think it's cool. That is of course, wrong image, but it exists. And I was in situation where I said that I think I might have asperger's and people said to me ''wow, that is cool'' but this leads to your problems not being recognized.

So, I Think it is legit to talk about that,m about perceptions of a problem that is not insignificant.

On the other hand, not only aspies are bullied. It is enough to wear eyeglasses in school to be bullied, or have some speech impairment, or dyslexia or whatever. And it can be precisely bullying that leads to social interaction problems later - withdrawal, insecurities, loneliness. It doesn't have to automatically be something developmental and neurological.

It is important to know that, because, than it changes approach to a problem. Therapy cannot be the same for something congenital that cannot' (and needs not) to be cured, and situations when some otherwise ''normal'' kid got handicapped by peers and unresponsive school personnel.

Somehow I can't imagine anyone wanting to have Asperger's Disorder or ASD, especially diagnosed.

Do you want to:

-have my Conservatorship?
-have your home inspected randomly to make sure you are conforming?
-have a document that can be used by others to restrict your life or block opportunity?
-have to plan your day to avoid chaos, noise, light and crowds?
-know you are capable of meltdowns that are sometimes violent?
-live a solitary life terrified of going out since inevitably you piss someone off?
-recoil when someone touches you, even someone who "likes" you?
-actually be social but are just so terrible at it you give up?
-analyze every social event you attend and identify all your blunders?
-be treated differently and get that hideous phrase "you are doing so well in spite of your 'condition'"?

I didn't even know what they were talking about when I was diagnosed, I was not a willing participant in the process. I hang around here to try and get a handle on what I am from others experience. The truth is I am one of the lucky ones in that I don't have any co-occurring Clinical Syndromes except for the occasional bout of depression, if I had anxiety on top of this I wouldn't even be able to function.

I have been diagnosed and assisted for 15 years and I am no different or better now. If someone was to choose something to be, maybe they should look for something that has some hope of a happy ending. All I can do adapt to society but that is a moving target and it is impossible to keep up.

Being this way is not being a nerd or bullied. It is not being a loner or socially ostracized. It is a lifelong curse that you can't drug away or fix with therapy.

I have to say, why would anyone "fake" or be a poser to this condition. It doesn't help you in any way to be seen as having the disorder, in fact it being called Autistic is usually derogatory. The only reason I can see people seeking a diagnosis would be to collect some form of disability, but I make a very good living so me saying or being diagnosed as Asperger's is of no advantage and has a huge downside.

I do everything I can to mask or hide my true self. Most of the time I can pull it off, but how normal can you feel when you can meltdown alone at home just from a sensory trigger that could be as simple as a couple motorcycles and an emergency vehicle's siren outside your home?

Last edited by Quintex on 31 Dec 2013, 5:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, they wouldn't want that, but they would like to be Newton kind of eccentric and things like that. Because, some people think it is cool, they think that if you are an aspie, you have this superpowers and that it is because of them that you do not socialize.
I am saying therefore, that general public perception might not be correct. They don't hear this problems, they hear ''geniuses in their field, highly intelligent'' while the truth is most of us have struggle finding or keeping a job.
Media creates this image...

As a teen who's still into the school system, believe me, it's not.
A lot of NTs, expecially the "nerdy" or "weird" ones get bullied as well. I know NTs that are bullied way more then I am. In my class the bullied was are all "weird" NTs. No one bullies me here because my classmates don't seem to bully people who appear to have mental disorders (this is not the same in every school, because when I was in middle school I was the most bullied person because my classmates liked to pick on people with disabilities more. It's all about different people).
The media only shows a side of AS, not the whole disorder. Whenever I hear on TV about AS I only hear about clumsy, socially awkwards people with high IQs that get bullied and like video-games and computers. Reason why many "nerdy" teens think they could have Asperger's.
I've never heard on TV about issues with facial expressions/body language, sensory issues, obsessions that prevent you from focusing on anything else, accademic difficulties, meltdowns, shutdowns, executive dysfunction. Reason why many nerdy teens who are not good at sports, get straight As and get bullied think they have Asperger's. I've seen them. They can read facial expressions with no effort. They don't have any sensory issues. They have interests but they don't prevent them from focusing on something else. They like to apply the label on themselves to form a sort of "school aspie club" and they view the label as the "genius" label. While it might help them feel better, it shames teens like me who actually have Asperger's. Teens with the condition are seen as nerdy pretenders who apply the label on themselves just to get attention or to be looked at as "geniuses". And the fault is of the media that spreads false or only partially true information about Asperger's.

Exactly that! When I was in high school, there was a lot of talk about depression, and guess what - there was a huge number of teens recognizing themselves as depressed. It is not moronic or anything, it is - young people searching for identity, they have problems, they recognize it in what is being talked about. It gives them answers and makes them feel secure and be accepted at least somewhere. I don't think it's faking, or attention seeking necessarily but...if you have everyone talking about how depressed they are it's like crying wolf all the time, and when there is a real problem, no one gives attention.
And then, it leads to belief that you are the one who is only acting out.

O.P.: Yes, there are people who want to be Aspie because they think it's "cool." But in the end you can always tell that they are fakers, because they form pseudo "Aspie packs" according to NT rules.

Even for those of us who are labeled "high functioning" we know that we are not the same person that others perceive, and that we are different to the very core of our being, and we know it. We are Aspies and always will be. The world is "out there," and I am "in here." I can learn to speak "their language," but it is not "my language." When I speak "their language" I must always be hypervigilant, otherwise I will say something stupid or cross a social boundary of which I was unaware. I must stay in my protective bubble for survival sake.

An Aspie knows he is an Aspie. The diagnosis for me was just a confirmation of what I knew already. I can't hide who I am to anyone.

P.S. As for the bullying psychotherapists, how dare they play God! Avoid these evil individuals like the plague.

i agree, i have been tormented and ridiculed way beyond. ive needed help in school since grade 3 and help in general my entire life. i cant function like an NT but everyday i have to follow a script i wrote myself since i was 5. i worry a lot because i cant tell when people are teasing or bullying. i dont want other teens thinking having aspergers is cool.

....

I agree with you. There are people without autism who have problems with socializing, anxiety, poor self-esteem, and loneliness, and I think it's concerning that these people will be mislabelled and misdiagnosed with a condition they don't have. These people deserve and need help, but not to be given a misdiagnosis.

edit**

Last edited by Acedia on 31 Dec 2013, 7:37 pm, edited 3 times in total.

OP. Thank you for your boldness. It is refreshing and valued. You should not be getting treated badly for expressing your honest opinion and YES, it is highly annoying when people who don't have aspergers claim that they do because then they play that word like it's a card anytime they do anything wrong or say anything wrong. You'll always hear "because of my aspergers...." when they don't even have aspergers. Then they start teaching people their what appears to actually be a personality disorder is what aspergers is like misleading others.

Then they meet someone who really has aspergers and well it doesn't add up with the person who doesn't really have aspergers but is manipulative enough to get others to believe that they do.

I agree one hundred percent.

Want to know if you really have aspergers?

1. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't constantly. You aren't doing anything the "right" way. Someone tells you so you think you understand their way but it turns out you went too far with it because the middle ground is not natural to you.

2. You're blunt, honest when you finally feel like talking and you will go into fine details that most won't. If you aren't being blunt and honest you are too damned quiet. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

3. People already have this idea you will be a great computer programmer oneday when you are a child or something technical or they just flat out dismiss your intelligence pretending they didn't just see you do something smart.

4. You can't do the group thing. You have tried and failed. You sulk and feel miserable. You decide you can try again but only after you're done analyzing in great detail what you may have done wrong....only to find once again...you're not really welcome.

5. If you are an aspie that nobody can tell at first you are an aspie, people approach you for small talk only to find you would rather talk about your hobbies and favorite subjects. The ones who are fascinated will be your true acquaintences, the ones who sneer and go speak to someone else, lesson learned. You don't talk to them anymore.

6. If you are a talented aspie you may have several different hobbies or one that has consumed most of your time. Some people may have thought that an alien gave you a probe one night. You may hear this at least once in your life or that you are from another planet.

7. People say something mean to you. The emotional impact doesn't trigger and you answer their question in a serious tone only to figure it out later and either boil over or shrug and think "same as it ever was"

8. Problems are there to be solved. Problems are not there to start.

9. Not all aspies are alike but let's get something straight. We're not psychopaths. If you think you are an aspie because "OMG, I LACK EMPATHY OMG SOOO ME!! !!" you've reached this recording in error so please hang up and try your call again. Some of us aspies are hypersensitive to other people and can pick up on their emotions but we register it as our own and will act out over it at times or cry when someone else is sad without even looking at their faces or your usual social cues like the person is crying. Some aspies are more oblivious in that area. It's probably just another sense issue tied in with aspergers. The lack of empathy is lack of theory of mind. Psychopaths have theory of mind down but lack care for others and will disregard their feelings and not care for their feelings. NOT THE SAME. If you come in and whine about this number 9...then phish for sympathy, I'll know this applies to you.

10. You don't crave attention. If you are a female, your sole purpose in life isn't to get as much attention as you possibly can and are baffled by women who treat you as a threat. If you are a male aspie, males may act a little competitive towards you especially if you are smart in the workplace.

11. There are naive aspies but not all of us are. Just like there are naive NT's but not all of them are. Being naive is not synonymous with aspergers although I do see this trend of claiming that to be true online. That lie just entices scammers and scammers can actually get more money from manipulating and pulling the strings of the emotional thinkers. I have noticed people will b***h you out if you call out a scammer though or don't go with their BS as though you are cold hearted. You might be an aspie if you get scolded for calling someone out for pulling emotional strings and you are outcasted for it.

12. You take more pride in discovering the facts and discerning truth from fiction. As you watch those who are not aspies you notice, they'd rather live in a fantasy novel than be told the truth. The truth is too harsh and cold meanwhile they tell their children to be honest or they will be punished for lying.

13. You may have such a strong sense of justice that people hate you for it. It depends. Pattern recognization. Those that want to scam someone will see you as someone to eliminate or discredit to make sure you are removed for fear that you will expose them.

Last edited by TheygoMew on 31 Dec 2013, 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Especially agree with the bolded. I have no problem with people that come here though that may think they have aspergers but I have strong opinions about those that are here to roleplay having aspergers and act like the world revolves around them and playing with people's minds. Don't like them. They can go away. Those who think they have autism and want answers, stay. Not the ones who want to roleplay. They try to distort the truth and morph their problems into autism. Lines needs to be drawn here.

I am still confused

I get the media only looks at the social, nerdy side of the syndrome. I read the same media. I can understand teens wanting to be that based on the media. I would think as soon as the person starts acting "Aspie" to be cool they will start to get bullied and would drop the act quickly. And I would think word would get around that if you are "geek" "nerd" "aspie" you are going to be bullied called "Aspie ret*d" etc . So even if you were socially awkward NT's using it as a crutch people would see it is doing them more harm then good in real life because they can read others motivations. If they come here I would think they would read what it is really like and quit. So even if it becoming "Aspie" became a thing to do or emulate in some places for a period of time I have a hard time believing it would become a mass phenomenon.

But then again since I am an aspie I have trouble seeing peoples motivations .