Do I have aspergers or just want to have it?

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We don't know.

Only appropriately-trained, experienced and licensed mental-health professionals can make a valid diagnosis of an ASD; and as far as I can tell, there is no such member of WrongPlanet. Besides, any such professional would have to have several face-to-face 'interviews' with you before he or she could reasonably be expected to make such a determination.

Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis, either.

I have been reading this discussion with interest since I am a bit in the same situation. I am wondering if I have AS, I also wonder if I "want" to have it to have an explaination to my weirdness, and I think I exaggerate some of the symptoms since I noticed them. In order to to moderate that, I have tried to focus primarily on correlating my personal history and habitual behaviours and feelings with classic AS signs and not on fancy self-analysing and how I "think" I work. But I admit any attempt at objectivity regarding those issues is doomed in advance.

I am currently in the process of trying to get a diagnosis. In the meanwhile, what helped me was feedback from my girlfriend. Initially she didn't know, but after gathering some information, witnessing my behaviour and thinking about past events during 2 weeks she now thinks I very probably have an autistic condition. She is not a specialist, but having a really thought over opinion from a really bright person who took me seriously and knows me very well was good for me.

Waiting for a professional assessment now.

I been asking myself this exact same question for the past two years. I don't know for sure if I have aspergers, but I think it fits best. The symptoms I show have gotten more noticeable since I learned about all of this. I don't know if it's just that I'm noticing them more or if I'm exaggerating them or if I'm just more comfortable with myself now that I may have an answer for why I'm different and I'm letting myself be more myself.

I wasn't the one who first suspected I may have AS. It was mentioned by a psych I saw for problems I was having while in the military. She didn't go very far into that possibility because it was just to see if I should be discharged. I didn't think much (I didn't really know what AS was) of it until a coupe years later when a coworker asked me if I had aspergers. After telling a friend about this, she said that she thought for years that I may be aspie....

I've been obsessing over it ever since.

I wonder all the time, but the question always comes up..

I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but at the same time, I'm proud of it. Finding out I had aspergers was like finally finding a pair of pants that fits. It explained all of my weird behaviors and has allowed me to stop beating myself up for so many things, which is why if I'm ever told I don't have it, I probably won't feel too good. I have a lot of emotional problems on the surface, and they're all anyone ever cares to look at or analyze. My therapists and support team support me in my diagnosis, but it seems my emotional problems are so overpowering, I'm only treated for my emotions. I was verbally abused as a child, and I went through 7 months of homelessness, so I think I have an excuse to be emotional, being so easily overwhelmed and sensitive. I've noticed that as hard as I try to "not get wrapped up in a label" (as my relatives have called it), I'll be tossing and turning in bed all night with racing thoughts, so it's probably not too healthy. Knowing about aspergers has kept me feeling calmer and safer, more aware of my triggers.. I'm sure I have a dual diagnosis, but I'm scared if I ever got a new diagnosis, my aspergers would be tossed out the window and ignored and I wouldn't have any of the help I'm getting for it anymore.

So you just faked symptoms to live within the diagnosis. Seriously people like you make me really worried about over diagnosis, and people romanticizing autism.

I don't want to be associated with behaviour like that.

I think she was just trying to comfort the OP with a story to relate to. She admits that reading too much into things people will start creating symptoms. I personally think it is an honest attempt at comforting the OP, not giving herself a diagnosis.

If you think you fit the symptoms, then go for a dx.

Just because you think you might be aspie doesn't necessarily mean you aren't...

If I have it, then I want to have it, and I want professionals who take part in my care, and some other individuals, to know I have it.
If I don't have it, then I don't want to have it, and I want to know what it is that I really have so I can get that treated.

Who on earth romanticises autism?

For me, my aspie traits have become a lot more pronounced since discovering and researching aspergers.

This is not me "faking symptoms" - this is me having a profound crisis of identity, finding a psych model that suggests that all my coping strategies are just that: coping strategies. The aspie model validates my oft stated perception that I am wired differently, it validates my perception that i hide behind a mask, and it forces me to ask what lies beneath the mask. And, at my age, the answers are scary and the social phobia become much more pronounced.

I'm currently in 2 queues for a formal dx and am scared of not getting one. Why am I scared? Cos the cat is out of the bag now and if i'm not aspie, then what/who on earth am I?

I have the security of diagnosis, compounded by life experience. It never seems to lend much validation for any issues, but rather seems to stigmatize. I'm not saying a diagnosis isn't helpful, but it has its limits.

I can relate to that too.

And I would add that the mere idea that I may have AS allowed me to remove some guilt, shame and self-deprecation about some behaviours and thought patterns I had in the past and to consider them in a novel and more constructive way. Even if my assessment concludes that I don't have AS, that insight will remain and be helpful to understand and build myself.

It makes sense that people want to have it though I didn't understand it at first. The vast majority of people need to have an identity and fit into a group of people to a certain extent (I was going to say everyone but who knows-no generalizations). It's human nature. If you look at the deaf community you'll see that it's not such a bizarre or unheard-of thing to create an identity and sense of community around a serious disability or disorder. In the deaf community there are people who WANT to have deaf children so their children can be part of the community. It comes from seeing the positive side of something negative (a disorder) and wanting to come together and support each other, a good thing, IMO. The autistic community has become similar. There's even that annoying sub-set of people in the deaf and autistic communities respectively who think they actually have a gift and no disability at all and are superior to typical people (or the next step in human evolution). I guess it's just easier to know who's deaf and who isn't then to know who's autistic and who isn't so there's this weird situation where people don't know if they fit in the autistic community but want to because otherwise they still have the same problems but no identity/community.

Edited- to take out extraneous details and leave main points.

Last edited by daydreamer84 on 07 Jan 2014, 7:49 am, edited 2 times in total.

Thank you Gamer, yes, that was my intent. Acedia, don't be absurd, of course I didn't mean I faked symptoms of AS, deliberately or otherwise, that would be stupid, especially as I have no official diagnosis yet and the only person for whom I would be faking them is myself. All I meant was that I have discovered, both in myself and many other WP posters, that when AS was initially discovered, pre-existing symptoms were put under a microscope and were potentially exhibited to a greater extent than before, and once normalcy sets in and the microscope is removed, the behaviour goes back to the way it was before, still AS, but less focused on. I don't appreciate being accused of faking anything, especially from a person I have never met.

Here's a question. What do you think about getting the diagnosis and thinking it's wrong? Then, years later having some issues and wondering if it was right? Is there a level of Aspergers where no one else would believe you had it, but you do?

This is my struggle. I have the traits in the main areas of dysfunction but I also have alot of atypical traits including an ability to recognise some body language without analysis. All I know is that when I take ASD out of the equation im suddenly left with alot of loose ends

And I don't want to derail this thread, I'll actually pm you instead.