do aspies change jobs frequently?

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I work in local government as a technician. I have found that a "Government Job" especially in technology pays well and It's not the back stabbing "Corporate/White Collar" environment. The hours and time-off are usually quite flexible. My boss is very cool and goes to bat for me on any concerns I have or anything I need. Hopefully, it will finally be my "20 Year (or more) Career", and I can finally secure some type of decent retirement.

I stayed in my first job until I was 25. So from 16 to 25 I never changed jobs. The idea of changing jobs terrifies me. I just spent two years learning how to cope and deal with people in my current job. I do not want to change jobs or my routine. I do not want my supervisor or lead to ever leave. I do not want the people I have to email for inpatient to ever leave. Yup...

No, staying at a job in which you have come to feel alienated, misunderstood and the atmosphere has become psychologically toxic to you is takes a hundred times more work than getting out and trying to find a better situation or a completely alternative way to live.

You say it's hard for you to understand "job changers" but the problem is, most of us never wanted to be a frequent job changer. If I dare speak for others, it's that we feel run off from a workplace that has become intolerable because of a progressively unbearable social/office politics situation there. We don't WANT to keep changing jobs. We want stability and to just find something we can be comfortable in forever.

But the spanner that gets thrown in the works is that for some of us, the dynamic with co-workers or bosses or both goes so badly down the drain, because of our awkwardness, accumulated misunderstandings, and everyone just piling up resentments out of those, and nobody finding a way through to resolving or managing them, that you feel like you'd rather die than stay at that environment one more day.

If you can understand feeling like that, you might understand why some people wind up changing jobs. We don't want to. We crave stability -- but the situation becomes a nightmare because of the office politics.

If one is fortunate enough to never seem to generate that problem, then sure, a job is comfortable to stay at indefinitely. But for those of us who run into these social issues no matter what we do or try to do -- and trust me, I tried everything: staying silent, keeping my head down, being friendly, joining in -- nothing changed what ultimately would always happen -- you just have to get out.

I now DO have stability, but the only way I found it was to get out of the employment market altogether and start working for myself. I've now done the same work for twenty years and the only way I've managed to achieve THAT stability is by completely eliminating working with others, and working by myself instead.


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BirdInFlight, you speak the truth about our situation is the job market.

The simple reason why we want to work alone is because we we designed to be great at just that, not work in groups. Simple as that.

Thanks qawer.

Yes I agree with you; if one's strength, and best chance of stability, is to work alone in as much a capacity as possible, best to try for that. I went through years of hoping "this new job" (every time) was the one I could do forever, but then finding the petty personal politics driving me away amid great pain to myself, before I realized this just isn't in my range of coping ability.

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I think another key to employment happiness is to make sure it is something you really like doing. For me, it happened to have allot of elements of my special interest--Computers, communications technology. Many people come to me for technical assistance and that makes me valuable there. The people I work with lightly joke around at times but are generally very nice.

I sympathise with what you're going through as I am also long-term unemployed. For me, it will be 4 years in May since I first started looking for work after finishing my degree. Like you, I struggle in interviews as I find it difficult to give full responses to questions I'm asked and I also have problems coming up with my own questions to ask the panel. I've had 10 interviews during this period of unemployment and I've never received a job offer in all that time. I have managed though to secure voluntary placements with various organisations which has been helpful and at least it helps keep my skills fresh. Have you looked at trying that in your search for work?

No. I've only worked in two places since I graduated. The first job I quit after 7 years because I wanted to move. On the second one I've worked close to 20 years for now. I had a transition job as well to be able to move, but that doesn't really count.

Fascinating discussion. It just demonstrates how different each of us really are.

My problems in the workforce stem from extreme frustration which leads to anxiety and depression. Which lead me to only one thought – of escape. The frustration has come from a variety of factors:

- One of them can be boredom. Which could be doing boring work. Or having nothing to do (e.g. staring at a computer screen, waiting for the day to end).
- Another could be confusion. Where I absolutely have no idea what I am expected to do (despite constantly asking what the goals and expectation of the position are).
- Still another could be inability to work with others. I have been in several situations where people have complained to my boss about not wanting to work with me. It’s interesting. That I realize there must be something there (as this has happened multiple times). But, I honestly never understood what I was actually doing (to cause this). As I was simply trying to achieve the goals of the organization, as explained to me.
- And another is feeling as if I am being taken advantage of. There is a lot of manipulation in the workforce of people wanting to get more out of the workers. They do this by asking people to work more and more and more. Sometimes, I am unable to say “no”. And I feel like the work is sapping the life out of me.
- And finally, there is the ethics issue. For example, someone publishes a schedule that everyone knows is undoable. But rather than saying anything, people work nights and weekends until the project crashes.



This is so true. I really wish I understood this earlier in my life. For me, while I knew that I always had issues in social setting (with awkwardness, etc.). I never understood how this transformed into the working world.