NON-Diagnosis

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Yep, it's hard to get a diagnosis. I'm still working on getting mine.

What's your Aspie Quiz score?

Aspie Quiz

I think you should find another specialist. It's not a person's desire to be social that determines whether they're on the autism spectrum, but their ability to be. Autistics can want friends and romantic relationships just like everyone else (many diagnosed aspies on this forum are married with children), but the thing that makes them autistic is the fact that their poor skill set impedes their ability to get the kinds of relationships they want. Your so-called "specialist" obviously had a very narrow and incorrectly rigid idea of what constitutes autism; I would look for someone else.

Generally, those with AS tend to be similar to normal people regarding their desire to socialize, it's just that they can't (for the most part).

Meaning, some want to and some don't.

I actually DID see a "specialist". And as I said, the only thing differentiating me was my desire to be social. I WANT to be social. I've TRIED to be social. But I don't do too well with it. Never have....

I've had romantic partners. To me, that is social. I'm sure many have had romantic partners. But apparently (according to him), this makes an Aspie diagnosis impossible. He didn't think to ask how those relationships were (and how horribly unsuccessful they were).

To be honest, I am not sure he even read the huge file he had in front of him about me.

The most telling aspect was a psychological report that was done when I was 15 years old... it screams Aspie. I'm 99% sure he didn't read it...

I've done the Aspie Quiz (145 of 200 Aspie, 63 of 200 NT), AQ Test (40), EQ Test (9), BAP Test (121 aloof, 126 rigid, 95 pragmatic), FQ Test (29).

This is not something I went into easily. I didn't know what Asperger's WAS until a friend of mine (who is diagnosed) mentioned that I could be. After speaking to a friend of over 25 years (who works with Autistic children), I was pushed to test myself and seek diagnosis.

Again, not something I looked at easily. After further research (including an extensive talk with my mother), I realized that this IS me.

All people feel a primal, basic need for social interaction, regardless of their neurology. A caveman alone in the wilderness was almost certain to die - a caveman with a buddy, however, has a vastly increased chance of survival. Our basic neurological needs haven't changed or adapted much since those days, even though we've greatly modified the world that we live in.

However, some folks have learned that interactions with other people hurt, often. We consciously associate pain with social interaction, even though we unconsciously desire it as a part of our basic programming. We are literally of two minds about it, at odds with ourselves, which puts us in the unfortunate situation of fighting ourselves whenever we wish to act socially. You can see how this would decrease our social success, and our conscious desire to achieve social interaction, even while our subconscious mind screams at us for not having more friends.

It's heaps of fun, really. </sarcasm>



The fact that there are dating websites out there catering exclusively to the autistic community proves that specialist's point wrong. AS individuals desire romance just as strongly as everyone else, perhaps even moreso because of the difficulties involved in someone on the spectrum making a romantic relationship work.

I suggest you disregard his advice, and perhaps find another specialist. You may want to look at your local city college or university's Special Education department - even if they can't render you your diagnosis personally, they can at least point you towards a proper specialist trained with the newest information on autism and aspergers.

Our knowledge of the spectrum and neurology in general is constantly and rapidly evolving, and when asking anyone for an autism/aspergers diagnosis, it is vital to make sure that they are well-educated and informed with the newest information available.