There are so many contradictory AS stereotypes.

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dgd1788
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11 Feb 2007, 5:28 pm

nutbag wrote:

My belief is that if you want to konw what AS is, wander around WP for a while. Do not expect an NT "expert" to get it right.
And what it is like to be an aspie, cannot even be stated - what is it like to be a specific aspie, that makes sense.
And all persons are contradictory. This is because each potential human behaviour makes sense in some situation (including the inner situ of who a person is), and not in others.

I agree!

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Flow
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11 Feb 2007, 5:43 pm

100% True, we are all different.

ZanneMarie
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11 Feb 2007, 5:47 pm

nutbag wrote:

It's like talking to the NT parents of Aspie kids. When they say other NT parents, therapists, doctors, etc. told them X about their kid, I tell them, NTs can talk to you about what it's like for you to have an AS kid. To understand your AS kid, first talk to your kid and get to know your kid. Next, talk to other AS people and ask how it was for them. NTs never know what it's like to be us because they don't live inside our heads. Much of what they observe is skewed by the fact that they are looking for facial expressions and social clues they recognize. That's only natural for them. We observe based on what we know. The problem is that this will lead to all kinds of misinterpretations when it comes to Aspies. We simply don't respond the way they think we should which leads to all kinds of misdiagnosis by parents and doctors.

And, it's a spectrum. We could be all over the place from hate to be touched to being overly affectionate. Basically, just like anyone else.

SteveK
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11 Feb 2007, 5:54 pm

ZanneMarie wrote:

To understand your AS kid, first talk to your kid and get to know your kid. Next, talk to other AS people and ask how it was for them. NTs never know what it's like to be us because they don't live inside our heads. Much of what they observe is skewed by the fact that they are looking for facial expressions and social clues they recognize.

That is all I have been saying. Why can't people generally not understand such a SIMPLE concept?

Steve

mikibacsi1124
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11 Feb 2007, 6:04 pm

I agree with the comments saying that stereotypes suck, and that there is plenty of variation between people with AS, with some even coming off as opposite extremes. Actually, even individual aspies can show these opposite extremes. Here's where I stand:

Dart wrote:

There's the stereotype that we have low self-esteem and think our lives are worse than everyone else's, and then there's the stereotype that we're snobs who think we're too good for everyone else.

I'm definitely much closer to the former.

Quote:

There's the stereotype that we respond to questions with a terse "yes" or "no" answer, and then there's the stereotype that we give unnecessarily lengthy answers to everything.

I've been guilty of both. I guess the bottom line is that I don't always know the "right" way to answer a question.

Quote:

There's the stereotype that we're completely emotionless, and then there's the stereotype that we're all just a bunch of whiners.

Leaning more towards the latter, but there are cases where something won't move me as much as it should.

Quote:

There's the stereotype that we're usually apathetic, and then there's the stereotype that we get annoyed over every little thing.

I'm apathetic about a lot of things that I probably should care more about, AND I get annoyed over a lot of things that most wouldn't consider to be that big of a deal. So basically, my priorities are just inconsistent with those of most NT's, and I'm guessing that's probably the case with a lot of aspies.

Quote:

There's the stereotype that we don't try hard enough to make others like us, and then there's the stereotype that we try too hard to make others like us.

Up until a few years ago, I was guilty of trying too hard to make other people like me. On the other hand, I think there's no such thing as not trying hard enough to make other people like you.

Quote:

There's the stereotype that all we're good at is rote memorization, and then there's the stereotype that we're highly creative thinkers.

Neither of these really applies to me. Sure, I know some details about my interests that no average person would ever want or need to know, but memorizing facts for the sake of memorizing them is so not my thing. And while I have my moments of creativity, the fact that I'm great at writing essays and articles, but not so good at "creative writing" says a lot about me.

xxrobertoxx
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11 Feb 2007, 6:55 pm

Dart wrote:

There's the stereotype that we have low self-esteem and think our lives are worse than everyone else's, and then there's the stereotype that we're snobs who think we're too good for everyone else.
There's the stereotype that we respond to questions with a terse "yes" or "no" answer, and then there's the stereotype that we give unnecessarily lengthy answers to everything.
There's the stereotype that we're completely emotionless, and then there's the stereotype that we're all just a bunch of whiners.
There's the stereotype that we're usually apathetic, and then there's the stereotype that we get annoyed over every little thing.
There's the stereotype that we don't try hard enough to make others like us, and then there's the stereotype that we try too hard to make others like us.
There's the stereotype that all we're good at is rote memorization, and then there's the stereotype that we're highly creative thinkers.

And these are only a few examples of contradictory AS stereotypes!

At this board I've seen examples of both stereotypes in each of these cases, even though they're exact opposites.

The point is, as much as some of you sometimes like to pretend all Aspies are similar, we're all very different and sometimes we're exact opposites. In fact, it's even possible that some of us are as different from each other as we are from NTs.

I totally agree with you 100% on this.

Starbuline
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11 Feb 2007, 7:04 pm

Dart makes a very good point.

OddDuckNash99
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11 Feb 2007, 10:05 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:

One view I had from a professional that most of the time, aspies are incapable of discovering that they have AS by themselves.

I think that's true in a lot of instances. I mean, my one friend has a family member with Asperger's, and he's so obviously an Aspie himself, but he can't see that he's an Aspie. However, he knew that I was an Aspie before I was ever diagnosed, and he also knew that my other (diagnosed) friend was an Aspie. And I could tell he was an Aspie, but I never thought I was one.
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nutbag
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11 Feb 2007, 10:13 pm

Two or more aspies in a room - diversity between the aspies.

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nb411
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11 Feb 2007, 11:40 pm

SteveK you have the most brain hurtingest way of typing with those capital words. Are you really excited when you type? :P

nitro2k01
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12 Feb 2007, 9:04 am

Dart wrote:

I think there's a grain of truth in these stereotypes. IMHO all or most of these attributes exists in more extreme forms among aspies than among NT's. However, of course, I don't think most aspies have these extreme traits. But I think that for a person who doesn't know, and don't really care, and if you're a person who likes stereotypes, these things sounds like pretty natural things to think.

consilience
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12 Feb 2007, 10:25 am

I am all of those stereotypes. I usually swing to one side of the dichotomy depending on my situation.

nitro2k01
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12 Feb 2007, 10:34 am

consilience wrote:

I am all of those stereotypes. I usually swing to one side of the dichotomy depending on my situation.

Me too, but probably not everybody. For me, just as for you I assume, it's very mood dependent.
I think many of the things happen not directly because of AS, but indirectly, as a reaction to how many of us are being treated repeatedly by misunderstanding NT's. (People who might tell you to learn to "chit-chat" or not to speak too much)

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12 Feb 2007, 10:40 am

Though everyone is capable of wide variations in mood from one day to the next, or different parts of the day, such stereotypes are unfair. I don't think I fall at the extreme end of any of these stereotypes. If I'm really nervous or stressed, I tend not to be able to talk at all, not even a terse "yes" or "no."

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12 Feb 2007, 2:35 pm

There was actually a study that found, that in fact when autistic people and non-autistic people were measured on a certain test, where a trait could be for instance from 1 to 3, autistic people would be 1 or 3 more often but not 2 as often. i.e. we tend towards both extremes of lots of things anyway.

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nutbag
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12 Feb 2007, 3:22 pm

Offscale in any direction. that is me.

and besides, I often have a mis coordinated set of hands - I try to cap initials, but timing between letter and shift is oft wrong.

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