are there more milder aspie men

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I can pass as NT and just come off as very shy and a bit scatterbrained / to myself. I was fully diagnosed (I have my paperwork) with ASD and severe unspecified anxiety. The more people get to know me (I never form any social links at work but I am very successful at my job) like my life partner and her family, the more they notice huge ASD qualities. I think it has a major part of how I was raised and what support I had when living on my own. I was raised in a military family who were farmers for my fathers generation. They did a lot of conditioning (wasn't diagnosed as a child) in a very strict and loving way as I grew up. Fortunately my father has some strong aspie traits and helped me as I was growing up. As I entered adult hood and turned 18 I was on my own (military family) and my parents made sure I was prepared for that. don't get me wrong, everything is a struggle but I've always felt like I've had this stoic part of me that helps overcome any obstacle that is presented to me. I've never felt depressed (I have an incredibly limited emotional range to begin with) and I've just forced myself to do things. Granted, this takes an amazing tole on my body and often times I just regress into myself and go through the process to do these things but it seems to work as passing for an NT. Also, I know that if I was unable to function I would be homeless or die. That kind of motivates people I guess. I have noticed it has become more difficult as I get older which is what originally led me to get tested and ultimately become diagnosed with ASD and severe anxiety.

What's the triangle puzzle?

Idk it was part of an IQ test and it was a long time ago. It was basically a triangle made of 13ish other shapes. I can't do mental rotation and I cannot remember things very well so I would forget which combinations I had already tried. Idk why that was what made him decide (at least that's what he expressed. I don't have the benefit of telepathy, though I did bend a spoon once). I also may have just not understood the larger situation.

True, But its the only experience I could think of to relate to the original poster. I think the milder ones are invisible sort of like myself on a good day, just melting into the back ground.

I think what the previous posters said is true. Mild aspie men don't join these support groups, because it's sort of accepted in them, compared to in women where social norms are super-important. After a bout of depression at uni, I saw the counsellor, and asked her if she could help. She said I didn't seem as weird and abnormal as I had said I was. After some months she said I had improved tremendously in social interaction (with her) and seemed normal. Despite the fact most people think I'm weird and want nothing to do with me. I think those Aspies who saw her were severe cases, or not as good at masking it.

I'm very much aspie - extensive testing has shown that. My psychologist says I cover it well, using intellect and experience. But sometimes it really shows and people who only know me a bit wonder 'what the heck did he just say / do?"

People who know me well know that I'm a "one of these things is NOT like the other "

While I was offically diagnosed as aspie in my '40's, I have a long history of counselling because I was "odd / different". Guess they finally found the right label for me.

I'm glad to learn that I am not the only one who created spreadsheets and flowcharts to help with socialization.

I can pass as an extroverted NT during initial introductions. This is because both of my parents were in sales, so I grew up seeing that sort of behavior modeled. In fact I sometimes have to watch myself, because if I am too successful in my play-acting I might wind up with an invitation to coffee or lunch or something. Ugh.