Autism Denial
yeah, there's a great tendency of labeling things as disease. What exactly is a disease and what exactly is a normal brain? Everyone has different brains, and each person would be a little bit "off" than average in one aspect or another. I just see aspergers as a part of the natural human diversity, just like other "diseases" like histrionic personality disorder. Not to mention that psychologists change the diagnostics and symptoms pretty often, and they change on time, space and culture too. It's pretty subjective what society considers the norm, and also kind of oppressive. Let humans be humans.
Yes, ignorance. In ignorance there is no reason to look for a diagnosis. I knew something was different about many other people from a young age and I worked very hard to do what was expected. Then something went wrong, I guess I burned out, before being able to understand what ASD means, really. And now I guess I'm somewhat in denial, but after most of my life hearing I need to get it together and act normal, it's difficult to understand what being different really means, or find how to live with who I'm now redefined as being. I guess that can be labeled denial, but to me it's just listening to what I was told. Which was stop pretending and act normal.
First of all I feel natural in my AS state and as Tallyman said very ignorant about its affects. I knew I was different from age 3 however that mostly came as knowing that I had different intrusts and was poor at sports and since I was frequently told I did not try hard enough I thought that was much of the reason I failed a lot, having poor TOM I figured the other kids felt the same way about things I did and was always in for surprise when I asked another kid if they liked school or gym time etc. I did not feel like I had a brain disorder, socially I wanted to fit in and doing that would not be possible as a person with AS, a disorder I had not even heard about in 11 years of life yet I apparently had it! As for the term autism all I knew as far is people was non-verbal LFA and if I had trouble grasping that I had AS how could I relate to autism? I thought they were just throwing meaningless labels at me since I thought it had happened before.
Age changes a lot though and its clear I'm standing alone developmentally compared to the other kids who are now adults easily doing things I can only dream off. I am far more aware of the differences although I can see how someone really mild can continue miss them if their not glairing obvious, I still miss alot.
So I wouldn't say I've spent the last 53 years in denial so much as in ignorance of the nature of my condition. To other people I've always just been an eccentric, highly intelligent, lazy, scruffy social misfit who waves his arms around when talking. Frequently compared to the mad scientist stereotype.
Exactly!

_________________
Diagnosed Asperger's
I realized other people saw and did things I did not long before it came to me that maybe, possibly, it may be me who is different. Did anyone else see the world as strange and as not making sense first, rather than him or her self?
Be gentle with me please. After reading this thread I've changed my profile. I guess I don't like being ignorant. So decided to go with what the professionals say about me. Even though, to me, I am just....me.
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