Aspie honesty, a handicap in modern culture?

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Voider
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20 Jan 2014, 5:14 pm

Honesty is not a handicap. It's the fact that there are too many people who prefer to live in a world where they want everything done quicker in order to satisfy their laziness. "Modern society" is the one with the social problems.

WhatHazard
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20 Jan 2014, 5:38 pm

I don't like it, I wish I could be more honest without being looked down upon by others, I had to be pulled aside by my father as a child and told many different times that people do not mean what they say and they don't want honest answers, it was very confusing and it still is, I like blunt honesty and it's frustrating that even my close friends will sometimes be dishonest with me out of so called politeness.

I think the world would run more smoothly if people were more honest with each other, not so far that it would have an effect on creativity though.

Last edited by WhatHazard on 21 Jan 2014, 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

graywyvern
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20 Jan 2014, 5:47 pm

it is much easier to understand society today when it is described as one that normalizes lying. that "it is important to tell the truth" is simply another of its lies. no one (neurotypical) really believes this.

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Niall
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20 Jan 2014, 5:50 pm

WhatHazard wrote:

I don't like it, I wish i could be more honest without being looked down upon by others, I had to be pulled aside by my father as a child and told many different times that people do not mean what they say and they don't want honest answers, it was very confusing and it still is, I like blunt honesty and it's frustrating that even my close friends will sometimes be dishonest with me out of so called politeness.

I think the world would run more smoothly if people were more honest with each other, not so far that it would have an effect of creativity though.

Yes, this goes back to what somebody wrote above about the "how are you?" question. They are not being intrusive. It is part of the allistic social script. They don't want to know how you are. They want to hear that you are fine, and you need to tell them you are fine even if you are hobbling around with your leg in a cast. They don't want to know about the broken leg, and want to pretend it's not broken.

CockneyRebel
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20 Jan 2014, 10:56 pm

It all started in 1966 when John Lennon spoke the truth about The Beatles.

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ASPartOfMe
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21 Jan 2014, 1:06 pm

Niall wrote:

StuckWithin wrote:

So strange that they would make a shallow issue out of how the guy chose to eat pizza. I can already see several good reasons for doing it his way. For one, maybe he had to shake a lot of hands so didn't want to have greasy hands afterwards. Or, maybe it's just more comfortable to leave the pizza flat on the plate and cut pieces off it, because if you lift it up, toppings may fall off (sometimes the whole cheese layer with the toppings slides off, making an embarrassing plop sound and mess), or - even worse - the toppings might fall onto his shirt, which would create even greater embarrassment.

They should have left the guy alone.

It's worth considering the context. De Blasio is a Democrat. Faux News are a bunch of right-wing [VOLUNTARILY REDACTED SO THAT I DON'T VIOLATE THE TOS].

Politics, again.

It isn't in this case. I also linked an article from The New York Times not a right wing publication. All the media here in NYC made a big deal about it. Herd mentality demonstrated

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StarCity
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21 Jan 2014, 4:12 pm

I haven't had any issues due to my 100% honesty.
Some people may not like what I say, but at least I am being truthful.

For me, the 10 Commandments are my rules, and I stick firmly by them.

Only today someone asked me if someone stealing a loaf of bread is as bad as someone murdering another person. My brain went straight to the RULES: Thou Shall NOT Steal & Thou Shalt NOT Murder. In my mind both crimes are the same. They are BOTH wrong, and either something is wrong or it is right. 0's & 1's. Black & white.

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We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
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It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.

Sweetleaf
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21 Jan 2014, 5:08 pm

I wonder if honesty is actually even an aspie trait? Its certainly nice to be in situations where I can be 'honest' but sometimes there are things that aren't really anyones buisiness that I keep to myself and sometimes that involves not being entirely honest. Basically for me it depends on the situation whether its best to be honest or not.

But yeah not sure aspies are honest by default.

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Soccer22
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21 Jan 2014, 6:23 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Yeah, I actually thought that aspies were extremely into their privacy, which means we are capable of lying/withholding info.

StuckWithin
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21 Jan 2014, 6:59 pm

It may be a judgement inability. For example, you may be speaking to someone and tell them things that are factual, not realizing that this person may be the best friend of someone who really dislikes you. If you had that information, you would have not shared (obviously), but your general lack of socialization and not being up on the "who's who" of the social world can lead you to be factual - in other words, "honest" - in the wrong circumstance.

This is the kind of situation I was thinking of just now as I read your post.

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Last edited by StuckWithin on 21 Jan 2014, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Willard
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21 Jan 2014, 6:59 pm

Soccer22 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Yeah, I actually thought that aspies were extremely into their privacy, which means we are capable of lying/withholding info.

Withholding personal information is a long way from being the same as intentional, manipulative deceit (with malice aforethought).

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