I Feel Like a Fraud..

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Aside from the sadness, WP seems saner than every other forum I've ever been on.

I share many of the OP's doubts about myself also.

Oh, good! I'm relieved, was hoping you were joking with each other in friendly way.

Thank you for clarifying!

Hello Norny!

I think I know what you are saying. You don't sound like a fraud, you sound like someone who has had to struggle to survive without being detected.

I think a lot of people who come to WP have had to do that in their lives.

For me WP is a place where I can be who I am without being judged. Nobody is judging you here.

I feel a lot like you do Norny, though I'm not sure that Asperger's would have been obvious for me even at a younger age.

my life was hard, but at the same time, i was mostly left to fend for myself, so i was a very happy baby

when i was only 3, i would walk around the reserve i lived on all the time, alone, in my Pjs, bare foot, and not groomed. my parents had no real control over me, they just gave up with trying to dress me. but it didnt bother me, i was very very very happy as a child. so i had a lot of issues but mostly i was happy.

dont feel like a fraud here, its a support forum, your welcome here as much as you are here, im sure many people, if not half dont have a diagnoses, but a diagnoses will not change the fact that you may have issues with socializing, functioning and communicating. Diagnoses mean nothing to the general public, it can be used but it doesnt mean anything, its a tool for doctors, and professionals. so dont sweat.

In my life, I am not crippled by autism. I am going for what I want and trying my best on what I do and making the most of what I have.

Am I a fraud? Of course not. Do I feel like a fake? Not at all.

My point is that you shouldn't compare yourself to others on the Internetz and judge yourself as this or that based on what you read. In real life, the autistic people I know are more like what you described of yourself than most of the descriptions on forums and blogs.

From what you've written I don't know if you feel that you're fake to yourself or fake to others, or rather, I don't know which one is upsetting you. That distinction matters greatly IMO.

Lack of a clear self-identity has been an Asperger's trait on lists for female aspies, although I don't recall seeing it mentioned anywhere for all aspies, although I would assume if it is an aspie trait that it would apply to anyone.

Maybe you're schizoid. People with schizoid personalities superficially resemble autistic people. Schizoid personalities fall within the range of normal personality variation; they don't have problems with reading non-verbal communication, social reciprocation, and sensory issues, as well as language/speech delays. And they also have better adult adjustment.

They tend to be more withdrawn and different from their peers, and have trouble fitting in.

I sometimes wonder how many people with schizoid personalities have been misdiagnosed with Asperger's.

I was diagnosed with schizoid and then that diagnosis was disregarded and I was re-diagnosed with Aspergers.

To be honest though, I didn't even know what was happening to me when I was being diagnosed. I was in such a state back then.

Sorry if I've gone off subject.

There's no chance I could be schizoid, it does not fit me at all.