I just don't want to interact.

Post Reply New Topic

I was once forced to go to some kind of social skills group as a kid but I purposely started fights so I would get kicked out. My mom never brought me back.

I was later forced to go to some kind of art class but I never interacted with any of the other kids. The teacher was nice and let me add meerkats to my pictures (if she didn't, I probably would have caused a scene so I would get kicked out). I never learned anything art related either because the class taught landscapes, not meerkats. My mom said I could apply what I learned to what I wanted to paint...not true.

When I was forced to interact with people, I interacted with them, but not in the way people wanted. If I didn't start a fight, someone else usually did.

I'm an adult now and if people try to tell me I should go to group things, I have the right to say no.

We all struggle with this. Some more than others. My aspi bf is worse than I am. Just socialise for small amount of times and take restbite when needed. People would rather you did this than completely refuse to interact altogether. Its also about prioritising. For example, family are important to interact with where friends aren't so important. Most of my uni friends knew what I was like and there was another bloke with aspergers too. I only socialise with things that I find reasonable, mature and what I am interested in. Things I may be stimulated by mentally. This is why I would never go out drinking with any of them and do legal highs and excessive drinking games like beer pong etc.

Trying to find the balance between isolation and interaction is really difficult. And finding the opportunity for enough positive interaction is challenging.
I feel like most of the interaction I get is not the interaction I want or need. Sort of trapped in relatively one sided conversations I don't really want to have with people I don't want to talk to (or can't talk to). And I have a difficult time extracting myself from them and really need to decompress for a while afterwards. Maybe for days.
On another hand, when I find someone I like I usually feel like I'm the one trapping them with a long, one sided monologue they don't really want to be a part of. (I'm getting better about that).
And even then, I have to go decompress afterwards.
So most of the time I just isolate, and I'm usually ok with that. Sometimes it really gets overwhelming, though. Then it can feel like torture to be alone.
I've been in the town I live in for ten years and I don't know anybody.

My mom used to push social interaction on me and it screwed me up. I think I would have stayed more sane if I was able to keep to myself. I dont bother with socializing anymore.