Executive dysfunction or laziness?

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Starting is hard.

Stopping is hard.

The gain in brain is mainly in the train.

I totally sympathise with the OP. I went through university surviving on last minute rushed assignments because I couldn't get started until the threat of failure was looming up. Only the worse fear of failing could get me to overcome all the psychological barriers to starting a project.

Today I started a really boring task (actually a social science project) that I have been putting off for ages (nearly a year!). The reason I was able to start it today was because there was something else I really wanted to get out of (a household renovation chore that someone else planned without telling me beforehand). If I started my boring social science task, then I could convince myself that I wasn't being slack for avoiding the other job/chore.

In other words, I started task A because I found a task B that I wanted to avoid even more. Without that task B I would never have gotten up the motivation to start task A.

And recently at work, I didn't start managing a project until someone else tried to take it over and make horrible decisions. Until then, I was stuck in inertia. In that matter I had to be upset and distressed before I could act.

I guess my motivation to start a complex project needs to be external and serious, otherwise I cannot be motivated to overcome all the barriers to starting a project.

I know how frustrating that is, so you have my sympathy.

I did very well undergrad, but grad school was a struggle because it was in a new town and I was distracted by all the social demands of a new environment.

Some things help me get engaged in a task (once I am in gear I am ok):

- Organization: I need some sense of organization to the subject matter or work/study habits.

- Timer: I do the 10-minute timer just to get myself started; thereafter things run on their own steam.

- Distraction: If a task is boring I set up a suitable degree of enjoyable distraction like music. Or sometimes a TV show - I work during the commercials.

- Stopping: After I work for a bit, if I find I have hit the proverbial wall and my brain refuses to budge further on the task or topic, I get up and walk away from it. Sitting there grinding gears serves no purpose but to make myself miserable, and the bad experience makes me more reluctant to pick the task/topic up again later.

I also found that the huge jump in difficulty level between public high school and an ivy league college was more than I was prepared to handle. Public school had always been ridiculously easy for me, and I never learned how to study.

The irony is that I've always had severe reading disabilities (I can't pay attention, I have double vision, and the letters swim around all over the place) – but in high school it simply didn't matter, I passed anyway. In college, I was expected to learn primarily from reading, and I simply couldn't do it.

Does anybody ever feel a sense of ambivalence about their need to do something? Like they'll sit there thinking about it over and over again, and there is a feeling of wanting to do it, but then you feel like something is holding you back at the same time, something keeps you rooted in place?

OP, Im currently reading your thread...instead of writing up my degree work that needs to be submitted in a few days....You have my sympathy.

Im doing a part time degree as a mature student but, first time around, i was full time and unaware (strictly speaking) of my HFA. I didnt adapt very well and ultimately dropped out without anything to show for it. I hope you find better strategies than I did.

I have a lot of these issues in my life, yes.

I had similar issues when I finished my undergrad and started grad school. It was like a combination of stress, some personal issues, and the shock of being in a new environment totally overwhelmed me and prevented me from getting things done until they absolutely had to be. I'm still trying to get over it, but I am doing better now.

I've come to realize that if my brain is not cooperating to work on a task, it's better not to force it and just try again later.

Starting & Stopping: The strain in brain is mainly in the twain.

One thing to do is push yourself. If you end up worrying and getting tired every time you try and focus on doing your studies, then you are experiencing executive dysfunction.

This is also a way some adults find out they have ADHD.

Tiredness for me when I have to do some complex task is either from anxiety or poor sleep.

Lazy people are quite capable of doing but refuse to. Sometimes it's hard to make out the distinction. Because sometimes we can do it and other times we can't. But I have been medicated for my executive dysfunction so I'm going with that rather than calling myself lazy. I struggle to be lazy because I don't want to slip in how much I have overcome. I have anxiety about it.