How do you feel right before a meltdown?

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i start getting really sweaty nervous. i know what is coming.

I become enraged. If I am holding anything I usually end up slamming it down or else I will throw it across the room. I did that with my iPod once. As soon at it left my hand I started crying even more because I knew it was going to break. I would say my muscles are definitely ready to go, I usually end up wanted to hurt myself but I've never actually done it. That's just how I would describe the way I feel when it happens. When I have meltdowns I say everything that comes into my head without thinking rationally. I almost threw a plate once. But instead I slammed it down on the counter and ran out of the house and when on a walk. I have thrown myself on the floor a lot, I cry a lot and usually think about how much of a f**k up I am, even though everyone around me thinks I have accomplished a lot. I also get very sweaty. It happened earlier today, I got in an argument with my mom about her talking to me like I'm a child. I was super sweaty afterward...I hate being sweaty.

When my mother comes into my room and tries to argue with me, she won't leave. So, I literally sit in the corner and stare at it until she goes away. Hoping that she listens to me when I say I don't want to talk about certain things.

I feel irritated, pressured, confused and disoriented. I get clumsy and start dropping things. It's hard to think or pay attention to anything that is not right in front of my face, kind of like I have tunnel vision. And I feel like something is rising inside me, like I am going to explode.