Benevolence, Compassion, Empathy & Sympathy

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I like these definitions about these tings they are easy to understand. I also agree with you that empathy isn't really a good thing and can lead you into negative emotions.

Personally, I'm overwhelmed with empathy. But I am clueless as to how I can show my sympathy for the other person. I will either remain silent, make some gesture (get a cup of tea) or give a rationalisation of the situation, which is why I'm often called when a friend needs something that is upsetting them clarified and logically broken down so that they can deal with it. It has backfired though, for instance, a close friend was rather upset and I was alone with her and she knows that I'm quite useless in these sorts of situations. I felt rather bad for her and I did want to help, but I didn't know how - I essentially freeze up and stare, probably rather comically. After a certain amount of silence had passed, she says "I don't think I like to talk to you about things. No really, because nothing stirs you, nothing ever gets to you and when I look at you I can't tell if I like you or I hate you."

The moral of the story being, because I don't show empathy or most emotions outwardly or physically, it's assumed, wrongly, that I have none.