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Sweetleaf
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19 Feb 2014, 1:00 pm

The term 'cool' is pretty subjective....I am cool to some people, and uncool to others....depends on the person using the term I suppose.


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Sweetleaf
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19 Feb 2014, 1:02 pm

AspieRunner wrote:
Yeah it's possible. You gotta work at it, and you gotta do what you gotta do to make it work.

More Aspies should play sports, that's a big one.
\

Why?


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Joe90
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19 Feb 2014, 4:39 pm

I must have been thinking of the ''in-crowd'' type of cool.


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Drehmaschine
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19 Feb 2014, 5:39 pm

With shows like The Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who, crime scene shows, and the new Sherlock Holmes American TV show, it is kind of a trend to be geeky and socially awkward. But only in the glamourised way. Nobody thinks stimming, shutdown or melt-down is sexy. Funny thing is, even though we love to hate these shows, I have noticed-at least in my region- people starting to be more accepting of odd and quirky folk because of them. It used to be that I was weird, therefore nobody wanted to be near me-not a bad thing exactly, but still awkward and kind of embarrassing- but now people are not as avoidant and just refer to me as their Sheldon.
Not sure if that is a compliment or insult :lol:



Pobbles
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19 Feb 2014, 6:20 pm

Cool people concern themselves not with matters of 'coolness'. That's what I think, anyway.

I assume most Aspies, like myself, have better things to worry about.



daydreamer84
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19 Feb 2014, 6:56 pm

This discussion reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons:

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square".
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?
Episode: 3F21 Homerpalooza

From this site- LINK



Who_Am_I
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19 Feb 2014, 7:47 pm

Cool?!

I'm not just cool. I'm AWESOME.


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Norepinephrine
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19 Feb 2014, 8:14 pm

I'm the coolest person there ever was. 8)

Just kidding, I'm actually a nerd. But I'm sure it's possible that some aspies can be cool.



Pobbles
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19 Feb 2014, 8:31 pm

Norepinephrine wrote:
Just kidding


Damn right. Get OUT OF MY CHAIR :lol:



JSBACHlover
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19 Feb 2014, 8:39 pm

Seriously, I think that once you acquire self-confidence, then you'll acquire coolness. After years of awkwardness and failure, I finally achieved coolness about six years ago.



micfranklin
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20 Feb 2014, 9:37 am

I guess "cool" would be defined in terms of not being a prick, greedy, manipulative, unhygenic or overly pompous D-bag.



jamieevren1210
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20 Feb 2014, 8:49 pm

I am considered to be cool by my classmates, but I don't do cliques, am incapable of socially satisfactory mingling and don't have close friends save for one or two. Most of the time, said close friends are aspies just like me or are obsessed with Sherlock too, or both.
I have a variety of skills, such as acting, comedy, music, knowledge on a broad range of topics, that make me some sort of a go-to person. I always try my best to be polite, genuine and funny. Also I try to take part in my classmates' lives. We went skating once and also watched a movie.
Yes I am still widely considered to be bizarre and aloof, and a few people know I'm autistic, but I'm very fortunate to be in this school where people see my efforts and acknowledge them, accordingly and positively.


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AspieOtaku
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20 Feb 2014, 9:14 pm

I know Im cool its everyone else thats uncool with their medecore ways and wanting to be the cookie cutter images of society and as conformists!


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em_tsuj
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20 Feb 2014, 9:19 pm

Hate to sound like a broken-record but yeah, an AS person can be cool if they conform to what society considers cool. I would like to add this bit to the conversation. What about special talents? I remember this real spastic guy at my college who was good at guitar. All the ladies loved him. I considered myself a huge nerd in high school, figured nobody liked me. It turns out I was popular. I guess it was because I was so smart and because I am not bad looking. I also went out of my way to invent this hip-hop persona when I was a teenager (rap music being one of my special interests), got really into hip-hop fashion, music, and doing drugs. Another thing about being cool is who you hang with. I was associated with most of the cool kids from family or church or living in the same neighborhood, and my best friend was cooler than cool, so I kind of got associated with the cool kids.

I never considered myself cool, always considered myself a nerd, but superficial stuff like the examples I mentioned make you popular. Looking back on it, I wish I had stayed away from the cool kids and didn't try to be cool. Drug addiction, alcoholism, criminal record, and all the consequences that go with that are not worth people liking a false image of you.



jamieevren1210
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20 Feb 2014, 9:32 pm

em_tsuj wrote:
Hate to sound like a broken-record but yeah, an AS person can be cool if they conform to what society considers cool. I would like to add this bit to the conversation. What about special talents? I remember this real spastic guy at my college who was good at guitar. All the ladies loved him. I considered myself a huge nerd in high school, figured nobody liked me. It turns out I was popular. I guess it was because I was so smart and because I am not bad looking. I also went out of my way to invent this hip-hop persona when I was a teenager (rap music being one of my special interests), got really into hip-hop fashion, music, and doing drugs. Another thing about being cool is who you hang with. I was associated with most of the cool kids from family or church or living in the same neighborhood, and my best friend was cooler than cool, so I kind of got associated with the cool kids.

I never considered myself cool, always considered myself a nerd, but superficial stuff like the examples I mentioned make you popular. Looking back on it, I wish I had stayed away from the cool kids and didn't try to be cool. Drug addiction, alcoholism, criminal record, and all the consequences that go with that are not worth people liking a false image of you.


That's exactly what happened to me. A few differences here and there but generally the same storyline. I don't do drugs...I unknowingly bullied a girl (the other girls in elementary school utilized me) to the point that her ALD got triggered and she went to the hospital. I still feel deeply ashamed and apologetic even after she recovered.
That's why I never do cliques from then on even if that means I can be authentically popular in one of those, and totally accepted. That led to me becoming a bullying victim in seventh grade to the point that I transferred out.


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20 Feb 2014, 9:35 pm

Although she is only 8, I thinks some of my daughter's classmates think she is "cool." I think they think this because she is gifted artistically and truly has her own sense of style (I design and make many of her clothes because she doesn't really find "off the rack" stuff appealing...it's "boring"). I think the fact that she does not see herself as different helps, too, because she is very confident in her eccentricities. Her view is that she has school smarts, but lacks social smarts, and other people have social smarts, but lack school smarts. So she is absolutely OK with lacking social smarts because she views herself as making up for it in other areas. I do think her "coolness" may have peaked in 2nd grade, though. I think the social discrepancies may be getting more noticable and I don't know how much longer her "coolness" will last, before she is just seen as weird. Somehow, though, I think she will be mostly fine with that.

I kid that I graduated with (back in the 80's) clearly has AS by today's standards--never even heard of it back then--and while he was not "popular," he was considered "cool" in his own way. Again, I think largely because he was very confident in his eccentricities. He was so sure of himself (honestly, looking back, in a socially clueless way), that you kind of just went along with him. He was truly brilliant, sometimes in a mad-sciency sort of way, and that also helped because he had a certain sense of mystery about him. Like you always wondered what was going on in his head. He was also "championed" by the star athlete in the school, which I also think helped a great deal. They had been friends since childhood, and I think if anyone ever had a thought of picking on the Aspie, it was quickly dismissed because doing so would have brought the wrath of the star quarterback, who was a genuinely likeable guy but who would have stood up for his friend without a second thought.

Now that I think of it, I think that also helps...having one "popular" person on your side. My son has a boy in his class who is "popular" and for some reason he likes my son. They aren't "friends" per se, but the boy high fives him and things like that in the hallway and if they see each other at the mall or some other place, he makes it a point to come over and talk to him, and I think it discourages less popular kids (like the middle of the pack ones) from picking on him.


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