Could ignorance have been bliss?

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I first got "picked up" in 1996 by accident. I was originally sent to a psychiatrist for depression due to an injury sustained at work.
Although I knew nothing of Asperger's back then other than the fact that it was a type of Autism, I got rather annoyed and offended by the diagnosis. It stayed in my mind for some time and I used to wonder "Could someone walk around being autistic without even knowing about it? Could it be obviously visible to people outside but I can't see it, not even in a mirror?"

It wasn't until it was picked up again, many years later when I was in a psych hospital for alcoholism & depression. When this psychiatrist mentioned it, it was like "Hang on! I've heard this before. Maybe there's something in it. Could there be?"

After that, I started to do a bit of research on it and the more I read, the less I could deny it. It was sort of like the movie, 'The Sixth Sense' where once you find out he's dead and look back over the movie, everything starts to make sense and you can see why what's been going on has been going on.

I didn't cop a real hard time at school on account I practically grew up in the library and avoided other kids. Back then in school, they weren't real' big into group activities the way they are now. You basically sat there and shut up and learnt.

I don't regret knowing - in fact, I'm really pleased I know because it explains so much of how I am - the good and the bad. It also explains a lot about my past.

For example, once someone is out of sight, they're out of mind. Family included. I just don't seem to think of keeping in contact with people. It's not intentional. It's like I've got blinkers on and once you step out of my field of vision, you're gone. I always knew this about me and for a while there, questioned if I was a terrible person for forgetting about people. Also, I've always preferred to be on my own. Even as a kid (young teenager) I couldn't wait for everyone else to go out so I could spend some time on my own.

At least now, I know I'm not a horrible person and that it's just part of the way AS has manifest itself in me.

Now, AS/Autism has become one of my Special Interests (along with Myna Birds) and I plan to do a Psychology course and try to help others on the Spectrum who are more severely affected than I am.

P.S.
Myna birds are really cool - you can teach 'em to talk and they make great pets

I never was officially diagnosed. I have accepted that I have atypical autism. It's really difficult to treat with meds though because I have some schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms as well. I think in many ways my depression has been what made people believe for so long that I'm just shy and depressed.

Personally i went though a period of not caring about it when people told me I was autistic. However, now that I'm trying to improve my quality of life it's been somewhat helpful to learn about coping mechanisms. The only time I was aloof was when I was a child and looking back people just laughed at me so I don't want to go back to that time.

I never was officially diagnosed. I have accepted that I have atypical autism. It's really difficult to treat with meds though because I have some schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms as well. I think in many ways my depression has been what made people believe for so long that I'm just shy and depressed.

Personally i went though a period of not caring about it when people told me I was autistic. However, now that I'm trying to improve my quality of life it's been somewhat helpful to learn about coping mechanisms. The only time I was aloof was when I was a child and looking back people just laughed at me so I don't want to go back to that time.

I am somewhat hesitant to get an official dx for fear that i'll use that as an excuse to stop trying to fix things (which seems like a problem that some people in this thread have mentioned having also). But at the same time, I can't really deny it. So for now I walk the line between using any tricks i can pick up in here to help me get by in a world where i dont fit, but cant ask anyone else for help with.

If i ever start a thread here, it would be to ask if an official dx would be a good idea. Reading these replies so far has been useful. Thanks.

One thing I will say I didn't like about finding out was that I also used to think I was an alien. Even my sister says I'm an alien. I kind of liked being different. I guess I'm still different (to most). I'm just not unique any more. And I'm terrestrial. Mwaaaaa

It still feels like I'm on an alien planet.

I will have a website up n running in abt a month. Until then if anyone wants to see the "Bowler Coaster" you can search it on the web. Its not hard to find. You could probably find a bunch of my other artwork too. Have fun.

I will have a website up n running in abt a month. Until then if anyone wants to see the "Bowler Coaster" you can search it on the web. Its not hard to find. You could probably find a bunch of my other artwork too. Have fun.