Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Autistic Friend Lies a LOT

Page 2 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

10 Mar 2014, 12:47 pm

I sometimes do this. My uncle does that a lot too. In fact exaggerating is part of his personality, but at the same time he's not exactly a liar.


_________________
Female


linatet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 934
Location: beloved Brazil

10 Mar 2014, 1:10 pm

Shrike wrote:
Try reading into pathological demand avoidance. High-functioning aspergers can often relate.

I lie frequently, especially to get out of trouble. There seems to be this idea that people with aspergers and autism find it hard to lie, well, I sometimes feel guilty if it's something important, I'm probably a bad liar, even - but when telling a lie is more beneficial than telling the truth, it's worth the risk.

I think the whole aspies don't lie thing comes from being unable to distinguish thoughts from fact. It's hard to distinguish between what is known by yourself, and what is known by others. Or something like that.

I searched for this PDA thing and it is interesting. High anxiety would lead to demand avoiding which leads to being controlling or acquiring different personas (thus lying). According to my research it would be common among autistics. Maybe it is his case, makes sense,
in my case I have anxiety and I avoid demands but I am by no means controlling.



Last edited by linatet on 10 Mar 2014, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Soccer22
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 692

10 Mar 2014, 2:45 pm

linatet wrote:
Other possible explanations:
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2012/02 ... s.html?m=1

Soccer22 wrote:
I don't know why they're doing that. I've reluctantly stayed friends with this girl since I was 8 years old and she is a compulsive liar who exaggerates EVERYTHING. I remember this one time she even lied about something SO SIMPLE, it was when I was 10, I said that I saw this cool looking purple hot rod car on the road and she replied with "I've seen that car before too", and while maybe she did, I'm guessing not, since my family and I traveling down a highway no where near where we live. I couldn't tell you why she does it, except for maybe what was already said, low self esteem. She also has daddy issues where she feels the need to always impress him because he use to always threaten that she couldn't have dinner or dessert if she didn't do well at soccer, so yeah, I think that actually is a lot of the problem.

this father is doing an awful thing to his child. Self-steem is about feeling loved and deserving just because you exist and are who you are, and not that you will only be liked or worthy if you accomplish something. He is obviously destroying her and he is obviously clueless about raising children.


My parents spoke with him about it and he said "he's just kidding", but it's still not right to jokingly threaten. Either way, she's now 23, a college graduate, and engaged, so she's doing fine. She just likes to exaggerate and lie but I think that it stems from when her dad would "jokingly" threaten things if she didn't do well. I had to grow up with her dad and he isn't the easiest man to get along with because he has an odd sense of humor and also doesn't know when he has upset you, it wouldn't surprise me if he was an aspie actually.



lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,362
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

10 Mar 2014, 3:09 pm

I can't stand lying and people who lie to me. I can't tell you I've never lied because *that* would be a lie, but I'm not good at it. I thought this was typical for aspies in general but people talk as if it's the opposite. So I guess I've been lied to about that! My whole life is surrounded by lies - people telling me on TV, magazines and the internet that this pill will make me lose 50 lbs in a month, this cold medicine will completely cure me and it will be like I've never been sick a day in my life, this makeup will make me look incredibly beautiful, this politician will -- well, everything that comes out of their mouths is repulsive even when it *doesn't* have barf chunks in it!! ! :evil:



androbot2084
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,447

10 Mar 2014, 3:31 pm

autistics are called liars because people do not believe.



inachildsmind
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 212

10 Mar 2014, 3:38 pm

androbot2084 wrote:
autistics are called liars because people do not believe.


I think most of us have so much information in our heads that its too much for other people to believe that we really know as much as we do about things. And because we do not have proof usually (like a certificate, degree, etc.) then we are not taken seriously and our information is "pushed" aside. At least that is what I see that I have experienced.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

10 Mar 2014, 4:33 pm

Actually, I'm the opposite to the above post. Being honest about everything is an Aspie stereotype over here, and many people who know I have Asperger's think that I will be innocent in everything I do. I am honest most of the time, as I do not like telling pointless porkies, but if I know I need to lie then I do.


_________________
Female


wanderingdrive
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 20

10 Mar 2014, 8:49 pm

I think it covers the spectrum, though extremes are more likely. I lean towards the truth, but that's just because I don't want it to bite me in the rear later on. One guy I met, on the other hand, I don't think he could say the sky was blue with a straight face, which is a shame, because I think we would get along fine, but neither I nor anyone else I know can trust him at all. Another reason why I've decided to stay truthful when I can get away with it.



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

10 Mar 2014, 9:21 pm

wanderingdrive wrote:
I think it covers the spectrum, though extremes are more likely. I lean towards the truth, but that's just because I don't want it to bite me in the rear later on.


This is partly true for me. I like to think of myself as an honest person and try to be honest because I think that's one of my few good traits but also, I'm just a terrible liar so lying would probably get me in more trouble than it's worth. I'm definitely not incapable of telling a lie though and I will tell white lies occasionally. My mum always says I'm too honest and sometimes I simply don't know when to tell a white lie to spare someone's feelings but other times I'll know I should say something like "yes, I like the dress you gave me for my birthday" when I don't like it and will tell the lie. I'm not sure if I do it convincingly even then.



Lukecash12
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,033

10 Mar 2014, 10:18 pm

inachildsmind wrote:
androbot2084 wrote:
autistics are called liars because people do not believe.


I think most of us have so much information in our heads that its too much for other people to believe that we really know as much as we do about things. And because we do not have proof usually (like a certificate, degree, etc.) then we are not taken seriously and our information is "pushed" aside. At least that is what I see that I have experienced.


Yeah, I can see that. People have had me pegged as a know-it-all for a lot of my life. I guess it's because they devote so much energy to other things and they don't understand how people can devote so much energy to completely different things, how people can even have stunted and overdeveloped parts of their brains like myself.


_________________
There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.
Nahj ul-Balāgha by Ali bin Abu-Talib